My daughter was born 5 weeks early. She is in the NICU. NICU stands for Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. She's now 3 weeks old and yes, she's still there. I keep reminding myself that technically she should still not even be born yet. Each day I celebrate little milestones that let me know we're one step closer to having her home. I know in my head that you can't rush development. There's nothing I can do, beyond what I'm doing to help her along.
I am glad that if one of my children had to be born prematurely that it was my 3rd and not my first. I remember the first weeks with my first child seemed endless. And I didn't know that it would get any better. With my third, I know that kids grow and develop and change. I know that she'll be eating 100% on her own (without a feeding tube) soon. She is currently at 63% whereas a week ago she was at 7%. Once that happens, she gets to move in with us.
I was thinking today of the things that I haven't gotten to do with her yet. I haven't gotten to cuddle with her just for the sake of cuddling. Most of my time holding her is for the sake of feeding her. I haven't taken her out for a walk in the stoller (though Toronto in February really doesn't lend itself to nice long walks). I haven't gotten to introduce her to anyone outside of the family yet. We haven't been to church or the mall. We haven't gone for a car ride. We haven't laid out on a blanket. We haven't gotten to have a regular routine yet...kinda. We have a routine, it's just not at home. I know we will get to do all of these things and more. I look forward to not hearing my oldest son ask when his 'sis' can come home. She'll just be here.
Today I'm just weary and wondering the 'when' part of the equation. Hopefully this week. We'll see.