What's In Your Diaper Bag?

This was a fun meme I ran into over at Mama Notes. She's asked us to spill our bag (without editing the contents), take pictures and share.



This is my diaper bag. It's the second one we've owned. We had a traditional diaper bag with our first son that I grew to hate, it just wasn't practical. When I saw this one from Columbia that was more of a backpack (with some great diaper bag features), I knew it was what we were looking for. I still love it 2 and a half years later.

Here's what I found inside today:



I have one in diapers and one out, so the purpose of the bag has changed over time. Inside is: a changing pad, a zipped container of nappy sacks (scented disposable bags for diapers), diapers, cream, PJ's, infant Tylenol, children's Advil, saline nose drops (my oldest has sinus issues), 2 small spoons, a couple of pens and a pencil, a colouring book and crayons, a variety of small toys, wipes, baby sunscreen, a granola bar and a fruit to go snack.

I also keep a "Mom Bag" in the car that's my just in case bag. I posted about it a couple of months back here. I look forward to seeing what you've got inside your diaper bags too :o)

Raising a Reader

"I love books, I love the library!" my 5 year old shouted at me, holding his new treasures in his arms.
"Mama, read this me?" my 2 year old asked holding a copy of Max's Toys by Rosemary Wells up at me.
How did I create such a joy of reading at young age? Well, it's something I didn't really think about at all, it's just something I did. Reading is something that I love and naturally shared with my children. I didn't think much of it until my husband mentioned to me that reading wasn't a big part of his childhood. He never would have thought to bring the kids to the library as a regular occurrence, but he's happy and appreciative that I do.
So you may be wondering where to begin. How do you get kids to like books? How do you raise a reader?
I started reading to my little ones at quite an early age (infants). Books for infants have a lot of repitition and soft words. As they get to be a little older, their books can become part of their toy collection. Soft books for chewing on and books with texture and bright colours to capture their senses. I also enrolled my children in a local library program called, "Babies in the Library". This was geared for infants to 18 month old babies and involved a lot of rhyme, finger play and dancing with other parents and their babies. The program lasted for 4-6 weeks at a time and rotated through the local libraries.
As my kids grew older going to the library just became a regular part of our lives. We would go every couple of weeks, each checking out books and DVDs that interested us. My 5 year old is a huge hockey fan and knows exactly where the hockey books are located. We've gone to many different library programs including toddler time, preschool time and the summer reading club. Most libraries will offer such programs. If you aren't sure where to begin, your local children's librarian can be a wealth of knowledge for you. They can help you find age appropriate and interest appropriate books for you and your child to enjoy.
We've also made reading a part of our night-time routine. Each of our kids has story time with mom or dad every night. We read anywhere from 1 to 3 books together. My husband is a great one for making the stories more dramatic with interesting voices for the different characters which makes our kids laugh. I often will ask questions about the pictures or what they think will happen next in the story. I will also mix up words of familiar stories intentionally to see if they catch me (they usually do).
Sometimes my kids and I will read side by side. I'll be into my own book and they will be 'reading' theirs. Kids imitate and learn what they see. If they see mom or dad into a book, chances are their interest in reading will be elevated.
Neither of my children read words yet, but they both do a great job at storytelling. They will use the pictures as cues to tell what is going on. This is a great first step to reading. My older son can pick out the letters and some common words, which he finds encouraging.
As your kids get older it becomes even more important that the books they are reading are ones that interest them and isn't at a too difficult reading level. There is no point in forcing a book about horses onto your son who is really into detectives. Find a good mystery book instead.
Once you've opened the mystery of reading with your children you've unlocked a lifelong treasure.

Monday Mama Musings

I was inspired while shopping at Wal-Mart of all places to try something new here at Clever Mamas. Monday Mama Musings is to present an idea raised in parenting and a poll to go along with it. Comments and feedback are always welcome to go along with it of course.

Here's today's situation:

While stolling through the aisles of Wal-Mart this morning, my attention was caught by a screaming child. Not a temper tantrum. Just a child screaming as loud as he could. Annoying yes, but manageable. The reaction of the parent is what really concerned me. The parent shouted at the child to "shut up you stupid f***ing brat, or you're not getting any fries for lunch". What do you do in a situation like that? Do you keep walking, pretending to have heard nothing? Do you give the parent 'the look' as you go by? Do you speak up? Or, something else entirely?

What do you do?

• Pretend you heard nothing
• Give the parent 'the look' as you pass by
• Say something
• Other

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Allowance S.O.S.

Allowance is one of the most misunderstood aspects of child rearing. You'll find very definite opinions either way. I have become a great believer in allowance starting at a young age. My oldest gets an allowance. We started this past year (he was 4) and we've had some great success with it. My rationale for giving my child an allowance was to teach him the value of money and how to manage it. The formula we use is called S.O.S. I don't take credit for this by any means, it is one my mom passed on to me that a friend of hers passed on to her.
S.O.S. stands for Save, Others, Spend.

The rate of allowance is equal to the age of the child. For example, my 5 year old gets 5 dollars each week. I know that sounds like a lot at first, but it has actually ended up saving us money.

He has to save a portion in his bank account ($2.50). This money is used for things that come up during the year such as birthday presents for his friends and family.
The others part comes in as how we think of others in charity. He used 10% towards this or 50 cents. He puts that money into his Sunday school collection each week. The Sunday school sponsors a child in Peru and he knows who this boy is by the picture and information he's learned at Sunday school.

The remaining $2 is his own personal spending money. When he first started to get allowance he went nuts with this, wanting to spend it right away at the dollar store. He quickly learned that dollar store things break fast. He also learned that the really big, wonderful toys and treats cost a lot more money. He voluntarily asked if he could put his spending money in the bank with his savings. He is saving for a big toy fire station and is pretty close to buying it now.

Along with his allowance we keep an allowance chart on the fridge. There are certain jobs that he has to complete daily and weekly in order to get his full allowance. He receives deductions for jobs not completed. He can make these up by doing jobs considered bonus. His daily jobs include: making his bed, putting his laundry in the basket, setting the table, cleaning up any toy messes he makes (without a fuss). His weekly jobs include, putting away his clean laundry, helping with dusting and helping me clean the bathroom. Any other jobs are considered bonuses. You can tailor the jobs as you consider the age and ability of your own child.

We've found this ends up saving us money as mom and dad are not the money tree. He knows not to ask us for toys or other treats when we are out as our response is always the same, "that's why you have an allowance, do you want to use it for that?". Sometimes the answer is yes, and sometimes no (he really, really wants that fire station). It also saves us every time he gets an invitation to a birthday party. He comes and does the shopping for his friend. It works really well. Most importantly it is giving him lessons in money at a young age. He's already developing a relationship with a bank (so it won't be such a scary adult thing when he is older), and he's learning how to budget (something we can all use a lesson in).

Opting Out of Spoiling

My husband and I struggle a lot with spoiling our kids. We have watched this toy pile grow and grow in the past 5 years and really don't want our kids to have the mentality that this world owes them something. It's difficult. We have lots of friends and family that buy them things. We know that every year, twice a year they will get stuff.
So how do you control it?
Good question. One we've been asking ourselves for a long time.
There are little things you can do. They may not seem like much, but I think they add up.
1. Don't get the toys at fast food places. I know what you are thinking. That sound rediculous. But think about how often you eat there and how many little toys you get and how often your kids actually play with them. Hmmmm. Now I don't sound so far fetched. We started opting out of fast food toys from an early age with our boys. They simply don't get them. It's not an option. There are ways to handle this. First, some restaurants offer options. McDonald's has the option of cookies instead of a toy. Most places I will order one adult meal of chicken nuggets and fries with a chocolate milk and split it between my two kids. Really, they are just happy to be eating where there is a play place. Sure, sometimes my oldest asks for a toy, but the response he gets is that if he wants to buy one, he can use his allowance for it. He's bought 2 toys for himself in the past year. It's a whole new ballgame when they have to spend their own money.
2. Start giving your children an allowance. Kids need to learn the value of money at a young age. If they want it, let them buy it, but you don't. This really changes the way they view things.
3. Be honest with what your kids need. Every time a birthday comes around inevitably some of my friends will ask what they can get my kids for their birthdays. So think, what would they really like and enjoy that isn't spoiling them? My boys have gotten beach towels, science experiments, college savings, and some pretty cool hats/clothes this way.
4. Teach your kids about the needs of others. Then do something about it. My oldest had a whole different perspective of what he has when we involved him in filling shoeboxes for Samaritan's Purse, shopping on the FHI catelogue and bringing food down to the local food bank.
5. Start saying 'no' to your kids and mean it. Sure they can still have the occassional treat. But a treat is just that, a treat. We began to realise that we were treating our boys so often it wasn't a treat anymore, it was an expectation. There is a difference.
These are just 5 little things that can make a big difference for your child. I'm sure you all have some more wonderful ideas. Let me know how you opt out of spoiling your kids in the comments so we can share them!

When your friend's child has food allergies . . .

My oldest son, Andrew, has food allergies. His allergies are not life threatening, but if he were to eat three strawberries, drink a glass of pop containing caffeine or have several licks of an ice cream cone he would have such bad intestinal pain and gas that he would be out of commission for several days. His behavior would deteriorate, his sleep would be disrupted and he would develop an uncomfortable rash that might stay around for a month or more. No, I would not have to pull out an epi pen, nor would he have to be rushed to the hospital, but we would all be a lot happier if he had not eaten the food he was allergic to.

Some kids can eat small amounts of one food that bothers them, but eating several small amounts of several foods that bother them could overload their body the same as eating a lot of one food that they are allergic to. My son is mildly allergic to tomatoes, strawberries, peanuts, caffeine, chocolate, and all milk products. This means that if he has a chocolate chip cookie, he will be okay. If someone accidentally puts butter on vegetables and serves them to him, he'll have a bit of a sore tummy, but otherwise be fine. But if he were to have a piece of chocolate cake with icing made with butter and a hot dog with whey in it at a birthday party, he would be writhing in pain at about 11pm that night. Other common allergens in this category are soy, eggs and red food colouring.

If neither you nor your children have allergies, it can be easy to forget about or dismiss other kids' mild allergies. Many of the foods we think of as being "kid friendly" are the very ones that will upset they systems of kids with allergies. Below I have provided a list of do's and don't, along with a couple of stories about what it can be like for a young child with food allergies.

Do NOT:

• Decide they are being over-protective and serve their child something that contains an allergen.


• Comment in front of their child that they are missing "the good stuff" at a party or social event.


• Make a big point about their allergies in front of the child's friends.


• Ignore or dismiss their child when they tell you they can not eat something -- even if they are a pre-schooler.


• Put toppings on the child's food -- butter, soya sauce, salsa, ketchup, whipped cream or chocolate chips may be harmless enough for most kids, but they could cause a major reaction in an allergic kid.


• Give them seasonal "treats" such as milk chocolate or red suckers as the soul gift at a seasonal party or event.

One time we went to a supper that was held after a fund raising event. The food had been provided by several ladies at the local church. They had each made a casserole. Quick, think of a casserole that doesn't have milk, cheese or tomatoes in it. Oh, there isn't one. My son ate plain white rolls and carrot sticks for supper. For dessert, a local store had donated chocolate bars for the kids. Again, my son had to watch all the kids around him break into their chocolate bars, and be left with nothing. Several well meaning people offered to get him a chocolate bar, or to share theirs with him. I had foolishly assumed that there would be something there he could eat, and had brought no alternative options. We left the event early, and my son cried in disappointment and frustration on the way home.

DO:

• Have a chat with mom about the food you will be serving at a party or event. Most moms with allergic kids will gladly bring along some soy ice cream or jelly bean easter eggs so their child can join in the fun. I have even brought a sub along to a party where the main meal was to be pizza.


• Discreetly discuss food preparation with your friend or their older child before you add things that might bother them. Keep one cupcake un-iced until you check with someone.


• Offer a choice of toppings on the side at a meal or event.


• Sympathize with or distract your friend's child if their allergy is not taken into consideration at an event.


• If your friend visits frequently, keep alternate products that store well on hand. One family we visit often keeps a small container of soy ice cream in their deep freeze for Andrew. Pea butter for sandwiches is a nice alternative for slightly peanut allergic kids.


• Add a few basic foods, such as rice, potatoes or bread and a plain protein option at a family gathering or pot luck. Good desserts to add to cake and ice cream are watermelon or Rice Krispie squares or gummi bears. Set a bit of dough aside before you add the chocolate chips to that batch of cookies or banana bread. If you do not have time to do this, ask the mom to bring something their child can eat to share with all the kids.


• Give pencils, balloons, noise makers, art supplies or stickers instead of food items in goodie bags or seasonal swaps.

One time my son's allergies were handled well was when my son's playschool class went on a tour of Dairy Queen on their last day of school. The trip ended, predictably, with all the kids having a chance to make their own ice cream cone. My son walked out proudly holding the ice cream cone he had made on the cool big machine, only to have to give the cone to his little brother and watch all his friends eat ice cream around him. I could see that he was on a downhill spiral towards a meltdown as he asked, "How come they don't serve soy ice cream here?". One of his friends' moms wisely said, "They should serve soy ice cream. That would be great, wouldn't it?". This comment raised my son's spirits. We then asked the store manager for an official dairy queen cone that he could fill with soy ice cream when he got home. This was enough to get him past his disappointment, and he happily socialized with his friends while they ate their cones.

Have Kids, Will Travel

Before kids, travel was one of those things people warned us about. You know the "You better enjoy it now because you won't be able to after you have kids" warnings. Right up there with reading and being on time (both of which I still accomplish). While it's true that our travel is different than before we had kids, it is not true that having kids makes travel impossible. In the first year of my first son's life we traveled to Ottawa, England, B.C. and Saskatchewan. In subsequent years (and one more child later) we have revisited some of those places and added Cape Breton, PEI, New Hampshire, and New York to the mix. We've done car trips, airplane trips and train rides. We've been in hotels, tents and relatives' guest rooms. And we've learned a few tricks along the way.
Number one is be prepared. Know your child well and plan for their needs and personality quirks. They can only handle so much, so be ready. Our first trip with our son (he was 6 weeks old at the time) was driving to Ottawa (a good day and a bit to get there from here). We knew that it would take us longer than it had when it was just the two of us. We were also traveling with a good friend who had never had kids of his own so we made sure he knew what he was getting himself into before he committed. We got it down to quite a science really. We would drive for about 3 hours, my son would sleep. When he woke up we pulled over, I got him out of his car seat to nurse, my husband and his friend pulled out their books and read for the next 40 minutes or so. Once my son was finished, back in the car seat he went and off we went to the next stop.
Our second trip didn't go nearly as smoothly. We made the fatal mistake a lot of parents new to traveling with kids make, we over packed. Just because the airline will allow you to bring all of this extra baby stuff doesn't mean you have to take it. I really don't know what we were thinking. I didn't need to pack a whole package of diapers, they sell diapers in England too. We brought the playpen for my son to sleep in. Mistake! He hardly used it (I was so aware of waking up my husband's grandparents that he ended up sleeping with us most of the time). And it was very awkward to carry (my husband almost left it in the train station in London he was so frustrated). Never mind that my husband's cousin had a child a couple of years older than our son and let us borrow any and all baby paraphanalia we so desired. We learned. We now travel as minimally as possible. If it is going to take up too much room we don't bring it, unless necessary.
So here's a list of tips for kid friendly travel (and a few products we've collected along the way that help make travel easier)
1. The portable DVD player. Whatever else you may feel about kids watching videos, let's face it, they are going to be stuck in one spot riding in a car for many, many hours on a long driving trip. They aren't getting any exercise anyways and they are going to get bored. We bought this one (with 2 screens, so both kids had their own view) last summer when we were driving to PEI (4 hours). It worked very well. It also worked well when my friend Jen and I drove our kids to New York this spring (a day and a half of driving), we think this prevented a lot of sqabbling and saved our sanity somewhat :o).

2. The harness that looks like a cute stuffed toy/backpack. This was an absolute God-send for our second child. I was worried about things like traveling on the subway in New York as my boy decided that this was a good time to be more independant and walk rather than ride in the stroller. A friend of mine had one for her daughter and I couldn't wait to find out where she got it. (Wal-Mart) Some people have problems with putting kids into a harness (they see it like a leash), but for me it's a way of helping a child stay safe and teaching them close proximity to Mama in a busy place. Most of the time my son holds my hand while he has it on anyway.

3. The sling. I wish I had known about slinging with my first son. I certainly loved it with my second. I brought the sling as my only way to take my son around while we explored England on his first visit there. It was great. No lugging around a big stroller. No worries about how to get the stroller up into historical sites that have stairs. And storage is so easy, just fold it up and stuff it in the diaper bag. He slept in it and watched the world in it. I definately recommend a sling even if you aren't travelling to use with a baby.

4. A Surprise Bag. Kids love getting new things. And new things keep kids occupied. A surprise bag can contain things like a new coloring book and crayons, a storybook, a Where's Waldo or Eye Spy book, a new action figure (or whatever the current interest is). There doesn't need to be many things and you certainly don't need to spend a lot of money to make one. The last surprise bag I made for my son I found some things at a second-hand store and some at the discount section of Wal-Mart. You also don't need to take everything out right away. One at a time does nicely.
5. Snacks - the non-messy kind. This is what things like dried fruit and juice boxes were made for. Think of what your kids like to eat. Decide what is most portable and the least messy (you really don't want to pull over just to wipe peanut butter off of your child, the car seat and the window do you?) and pack a little bag. Keep it close to you. Just when the kids get bored and are about to ask the dreaded, "are we there yet", intervene and ask who wants a snack. Works like a charm.
6. Family friendly restaurants, airlines and hotels. Check ahead. My favorite airline to fly in Canada is Westjet. They encourage babies to cry on takeoff and landing (helps with their ears), they have baby/small child seating areas - so you know your neighbour understands what it is like to travel with a small child and won't give you 'the look' - they are more than happy to help with warming bottles (if you are bottle feeding). They are one of the airlines that does allow for free baby stuff for travel (2 items), a stroller, car-seat, playpen whatever... and they have Satellite TV across the country meaning my kids can watch Treehouse the whole way across. Very nice for a long journey. We've had success with other airlines too, but check their child/baby policies beforehand. Research really does help. Most hotels will provide playpens with baby bedding at no additional cost too. I find it very important to use our car trip stops to be at a kid friendly restaurant. The last thing your child needs after being cooped up all morning is to be told to sit down and be quiet for lunch. They need to play, they need to stretch their legs and runaround. This is the time to look for a play-place (or a rest-stop with a playground, if you are going picnic style).
I hope some of these tips help you out. The most important thing is to know your child, know what they can handle and plan for it. Travelling can be great fun, just plan a little and relax.