Mother's Day Reflections

Being Mother’s day in a few days I have been reflecting on being a Mother and on my own experience. I have to say I thought it would be easier. I am the oldest of a family of 6, my youngest sibling is 15 years younger than me. I figured I had a ton of “mothering” experience, also part of the reason I was in no hurry to have my own children. We got married at 22, but did not start our family until we were 29.

In the first weeks, months, now years I am continually surprised in how much work it is to be a mother, and a wife and all the other roles required of me in my life.

To work 40 hours a week, stay on top of groceries, laundry, house work, spend enough time with my husband and child, requires so much more of me than I thought.

I always thought I would be a really laid back parent, but I find I worry about all sorts of things I never thought I would. More and more I realize that being a parent is learned, it is not a natural thing. Like most people I am sure, I like to be good at what I do, I avoid things that I can’t pick up relatively quickly, I hate to make mistakes, and as a parent I do….daily.

Anyways what I wanted to get at is that I like to feel sorry for myself, to think that I have so much to do, and not enough support from my husband. I catch myself when I start to do this, because I cannot help but think how good I really do have it compared to the majority of woman around the world. If I think about what my life would look like it I was a woman in Afghanistan, India, Africa, or any number of any countries where woman are barely considered human  I cannot even compare my complaints to what their reality is.

I read stories such as these here, and feel wretched that I ever complain about the lot I was blessed with in life. These women are faced with unbelievable treatment for circumstances that are fairly beyond their control, yet they persevere and do not give up in order to provide the best future for their children.

Really as a mother in North America, I have nothing to complain about.

Ultimate Blog Party 2010

Welcome visitors from the 5 Minutes for Mom's Ultimate Blog Party 2010! We are a pair of blogging mamas here. We call ourselves 'clever' because we feel we have to be clever to parent our kids. No, we are not more clever than you, in fact we love hearing how clever you all are too :o). Clever Mamas has been up and blogging for a year now (and you've stumbled upon us during our 1st birthday celebration, complete with giveaway that you can read about here. Jill and I (Kris) are 2 good friends who happen to live in different parts of the country. This wasn't always the case. We've found this blog to be a great place to be moms together. I look forward to visiting other mama blogs this week. Cheers!

There are lots of wonderful prizes this year at the Ultimate Blog Party, if I were to win I would prefer in order (all from the USC list): 22, 5, 6, 4, 12, 28, 23, 53, 63, 25, 8, 37, 36, 40, 44, 18 - but any prize would be a lovely treat :o)

Happy Birthday Clever Mamas! We're celebrating with a give-away!

Clever Mamas turns 1 today! Time to sit back, reflect and celebrate! When Jill and I first started out on this blogging adventure, it was done so to give us an outlet to reflect on what we have learned as 'moms'. We didn't name ourselves Clever Mamas because we think that we are more clever than anyone else...not at all. We believe that all moms have to be clever in order to survive. We've learned as we go and we still stumble along the way. We blog in spurts because let's face it, parenting is a busy time. When we first started this blog we were both moms of 2 boys, we've both added daughters to the mix as the year went on. (It's an odd phenomenon that we both have given birth 3 times, within a couple months of each other). Our combined children are now 5, 5, 3, 3, almost 5 months and almost 3 months old. We blog on what we know which is why we rarely write about children older than our own. We love hearing from you! We know that all moms have great ideas and have found things that work for them, so thank you all for your advice that you've given us when we've asked for it. We'd love to know what is on your minds as parents. Are there any topics you'd like to hear our take on? We like being challenged and knowing what is on your mind as well.

Now, onto the contest! Well, since we are a partnership of mama bloggers we are having a double give-away.
Jill is offering a 'expectant mama package'

She has a pre-natal excersise DVD as well as a Jill-made baby rattle in the package. Jill is a very creative quilter/sewer. I am fortunate to have 2 Jill quilts and 1 frog beanbag toy in my home. You can check out many of her creations on her personal blog found here.
I am not as crafty a person as Jill so there is nothing Kris-made in my package.

I am offering a 'mama deserves a break package' complete with a magazine, bath bubbles, and good chocolate (not the cheap kind we give our kids, so hide it from them) .

How do you enter? You can earn yourselves multiple entries.

• First: make a comment (and tell us which package you'd prefer).
• Second: be a follower of Clever Mamas.
• Third: Blog about our little contest on your own blog and link it back to this post (put your link back in your comment to so we can find it - we will be checking).

Make sure you let us know all the ways you are entering, earning up to 3 entrires for yourself. Don't forget to include your email address when you enter so we can get a hold of you should you win. You don't have to be a parent to enter, you can enter with the idea of gifting someone you know in mind. You don't have to be a blogger to enter either. The give-away runs until Friday, April 9th, midnight EST. Winners will be announced on Saturday! Thank you for reading!

What is a Clever Mama?

Hi. I'm Jill, and I think I'm a pretty clever mama.

You see, I used to be a high school teacher and write and direct short plays in my spare time. Before that, I was a pretty clever and creative university student. Now, I stay at home all day with a four year old and a two year old. Since I moved six weeks after the birth of my son, no one here knows me as a university student, a playwrite or a teacher. They know me as a very tired, droopy looking woman who smiles vaguely and can hardly put a coherent sentence together. The woman whose house is always turned upside down and who always arrives late and looks frazzled. That woman whose kids are wearing second hand clothes and cloth diapers and who are still buzzing in for a nurse at 18 months. Yep, that's me. The one in the corner of playgroup or library story time who just does things differently.

I do these things, but I don't talk about them much. Not in real life, anyway. I have decided that if people are interested in my ideas and opinions, they can ask me. If they're not, then its not my place to foist my ideas upon them. Terribly Canadian of me, I know. But I just don't have the energy to argue. I'm too busy trying to wean my toddler, convince my preschooler to put on his own socks, and figure out how to get all the laundry folded and put away within a week of washing it.

But I still consider myself to be a clever mama. Why? Because I try to be a mindful parent. I think and read and reflect on parenting in general. More importantly, I think and reflect on my own parenting. And when I see that something isn't working, I find a better way. I follow my intuition, and when it fails me, I pick up a new book or find a new blog or chat with my cross country network of former real life friends who have become moms and my world wide network of online friends and mentors on the web. And then I think, and plan, and start over again.

Kris and I have both been on this journey. We are not mom friends because we always agree, but because we are both willing to discuss, think, reflect, change, grow and do the hard work of being a clever mama. We hope you'll join us on our journey to think about, write about, and share about mothering.

1st post by one clever mama

We don't want you to get the wrong idea. We actually aren't any more clever than most mamas out there, but we do believe that a lot of what we have learned along the way of this journey called motherhood entitles us to the adjective 'clever'. Most moms learn how to be clever out of sheer neccessity and this is our little spot to share, vent and generally be moms together. What is it that many people say, "you have to pass a test to get a drivers licence, but there's no requirement to become a parent" so true, so true. It's a learn as you go experience. You do the best you can with what you know. Jill (my partner in crime here) and I have shared a lot together thus far (though we are doing so several provinces away from each other). I think you need someone (or several someones) to be a mom with. To get hints and tips, to share frustrations and aggrivations and to know that you aren't the only one going through whatever it is you happen to be going through at the moment. That's where this Clever Mamas idea came about. It's been a process to get it here, but we are glad that it is here. We don't by any means claim to know it all (goodness knows you don't need someone like that in your life), in fact part of us knowing that we're doing okay is the fact that we can admit that we aren't perfect. This is just our time, mom time.