Monday, August 30, 2010
Mouring Experience
My little girl is 7 months old. She was born prematurely via c-section back in January. Because of her unexpected delivery and manner of delivery I feel like I missed out. She's my 3rd so I know what making it to term and labouring to deliver is like. In fact I consider my 2nd son's birth to be one of the most perfect day of my life. Now here I am 7 months removed from my daughter's birth and I still have a little bit of mourning going on. I know project healthy baby is the most important thing (and she really is lovely!) but I still get these twinges. Her birth happened so quickly and I never thought I would have a C that it seemed like it was over before it was begun. Just a little wistful today I guess.
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Have a healthy baby is the most important thing! I only have one child. She had to be delivered early via c-section too--we got really close to losing her. Now, she's a happy, healthy six year old. She does have Asperger's, but that just adds to her charm (most of the time).
ReplyDeleteDo I feel less like a woman because I didn't experience a full-term pregnancy, labor, and vaginal delivery? Yes. Is this just a small pang compared to the enormous tragedy that almost occurred? You betcha!
I review my labour repeatedly in my mind to think of how I could have done it differently and avoided a C-section. I think I am now (14 months later) at peace with how it went, although I am undecided on next time whether to redeam my first birth with a VBAC or to play it safe with a second C-section.
ReplyDeleteI know that we always say 'healthy baby, healthy mum' but the truth is that the birth experience does matter to us, and I say that as a mother and as a labor delivery nurse. There are so many variations in birth and it can be difficult to wrap your mind around things when they don't go as planned.
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