Saturday, November 28, 2009

Kids Photos on Social Networking Sites

So, I had a kind of creepy experience today. I went to check my email, and there was someone requesting to be my contact on Flikr. This happens once in a while, as I am quite an active Flikr user. Most of my photos relate to crafts, swaps, and quilts that I am working on. Mostly the people who want to be my contacts are swapping with me, or are other people who do crafts or make quilts and who hang out in the same groups as I do. But this person was someone unfamiliar to me -- I had never received a comment from them or "seen" them on any of the craft-related and swap-related groups I generally post in.

Flash back: A year or so ago, before I had my laptop, I thought my desktop computer was going to crash because it was slowing down so much. It was a dinosoar and did not have a drive that could write anything to cd, and Yahoo! photos was shutting down and being overtaken by Flikr. So I paid my subscription fee and transferred all my family photos for the last 3 years to Flikr, without thinking much about it. Most of them I transferred with a "Private" Setting, but a few files had photos of quilts and crafts and my kids, so I left those whole files as "Public", meaning to go back and change them later.

Flash forward to today: So, I go to check out the profile of this stranger who wants to be my contact. And do you know what is in their favorites? Exclusively photos of little boys, mostly with blond hair and blue eyes, like my boys. The person is a single male, whose photos are all of dogs and vacations. Creepy. I think I will block you, thank you very much.

Guess what I spent the afternoon doing? I rifled through my entire Flikr account, making almost all the photos of my boys private. Weirdly enough, I found two photos of my boys that have not been posted in any Group that I know of that had between 100 and 200 views each - generally my photos have 2 or 3 views, and my quilts sometimes have 30 or 40. Where did those people come from? Who were they? And what were they doing looking at photos of my children?

That is my cautionary tale for today. Be careful what you casually post on the internet. Those of us who hang around in the friendly mom and craft and food and decorating parts of the web can sometimes forget that it it not really a safe place.

Monday, November 23, 2009

" Hurry Up and Wait"

In the film and tv industry (and to a lesser extent, in theatre rehearsals) actors often have to be on set, in make up and costume, with their lines memorized, ready to get in their places. Once they have achieved this state, they must wait for the camera to be focused, the shot to be set up, the lights to be properly adjusted, and many other technical details to be worked out before they actually get to go on set and do their bit.

The last few weeks of pregnancy are kind of like this. You get everything ready for the baby, make all your plans for who will go where during your delivery, get your bags packed, and then . . . you wait. The rest is up to your body, not you.

This is the stage we are in right now -- the hurry up and wait. Some days I feel like I'm going into labour, some days I don't. All trips out of town have been suspended. The smallest cramp or contraction or gas or sore back is closely monitored by me, in case it is actually a contraction. I've already been to the hospital and back once. Every night at bed time and every day as he goes to school, Andrew asks, "Do you think the baby will come before I wake up/ get home?".

There is very little you can do in this stage, especially once all the major preparation is complete. All you can do is keep up the dishes and laundry, fend off the curious phone calls and emails, and try keep a nice balance between being busy and well rested.

With my first son, since I did not have any other kids to care for, and I was on summer holidays from my job, and it was really hot. I watched all the extended editions of the Lord of the Rings movies, and all the special features (yes, it took me a whole week) while I hid out in our basement suite. In the cool evenings I would go for walks.

With my second son, I was so busy chasing my oldest son and getting ready for Christmas. Then I obsessively researched natural birth and breastfeeding for a few weeks before the birth. I had a terrible cold and could hardly walk, though, so mostly I was just waiting for the pain to end.

This time I have been sewing and sewing and sewing .

The main point is to find something to do to keep you from obsessively thinking about the coming baby. What have you done to keep yourself busy in this ending, hurry up and wait, stage?

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Thinking about others


It's Operation Christmas Child week at Samaritan's Purse. If you've never heard of the program, you are in for a real treat. The premise is simple. Fill a shoebox with a variety of items that would be of use and interest to a child in a developing country (such as crayons, colouring books, small toys, soap, toothbrushes, t-shirt, hair barrettes and other small items). Attach a label that tells if the gifts inside are appropriate for a boy or girl and the age. Include a small donation ($7 per box) to cover shipping costs and drop it off at your local collection agency. It's a really easy way to teach your kids about the importance of giving to others in need. They can be involved by shopping for the items inside, deciding what the boy or girl would really like to have for Christmas. The Samaritan's Purse website has all the information you need to know about what kinds of things to include (and not include) as well as small videos to show your kids what the program is all about and the kids in need. You can find out more at the Samaritan's Purse website http://samaritanspurse.ca/

Want to get your kids interested in helping in others, but think that you don't have enough time to fill a shoebox this week? Here's another suggestion for you. Try FHI's Gift Catalogue. FHI stands for Food for the Hungry International. It is a non-profit organization whose purpose is to work in developing nations with the idea of training the people there to overcome poverty. Their gift guide includes everything from chickens and seedlings, to bed netting and school supplies. You and your kids could have a lot of fun looking through and deciding what gifts to buy kids and families overseas. You can visit the FHI website at http://www.fhcanada.org/.

Organizations like Samaritan's Purse and FHI not only allow you and your kids to get involved in helping others, they also help educate your children to become more globally aware of the living situations of others in our world.

Friday, November 6, 2009

It's Potty Time

Want to start a good old mama debate real fast? Ask how potty training is going. Here's a list of possible topics that can come out of this:
-when to start?
-are they ready?
-pullups?
-just underwear?
-potty?
-right to the toilet?
-what about at daycare?
-what about leaving the house?
-night training?
And the list goes on and on and on. I don't claim in any way to be an expert at potty training. I have ideas. I have experience with one child and I'm starting to get experience with my second. To our great surprise and wonder, our second has decided to start training on his own. I really don't know how this happened and I have no idea how to make your child decide to do this. Our boy is 2 and a half. We struggled training his older brother until he was 3 and a half. We tried everything. We read potty books. We filled him with liquid and sat him on the potty every hour. We tried reward charts and treats. We paid out so much money in pull-ups that I should have taken stock in the company and nothing worked. He simply wasn't ready. Do you want to know what finally did it for him? Hockey underwear. He loves hockey and decided that he didn't want to get the hockey players dirty. That was it. That was his big motivator and it worked.
I think our second is being motivated simply because he wants to be a big boy like his brother. We've had the potty out for a while now and let him sit on it when he wanted with no expectation for anything yet. The hope has been that we would work on potty training at some point before he's three and the new baby comes along (I really don't like having 2 in diapers). Last weekend, he shouted to me from the bathroom, "Mommy, I peed!" and I had this little naked boy running excitedly around the house. Sure enough, on his own initiative, he had ripped off his diaper and peed in the potty. I was shocked. And very excited. The next day I went searching for training pants. The thick white cotton kind. He told me he wanted to wear underwear - so that's what we did. He wears the training pants first with pair of little underwear over top. He's extremely proud of this. At this point we are only doing this while we are at home. He hasn't yet gone potty at daycare and we're not pushing it. He's still wearing a diaper when we go out because I don't think he's ready for that next step yet. Once he's a little more consistent with using underwear and making it successfully to the potty then we'll venture out diaperless.
How has it gone since that first time last Saturday? Pretty good. He's gone potty at least once or twice each day when we've been home. The times where he hasn't quite made it there, he's almost made it and told me he has to pee or has run into the bathroom and just didn't quite give himself enough time. We're taking the stance of being relaxed and encouraging about it. It's a learning process. We know he's starting to pick up his own body cues which is great, and now it's just a matter of putting it all together. Sure there's extra laundry to do, but it's to be expected at any stage of potty training (just wait until it's sheets for night training, then the extra pants won't seem like much). At this point we're not buying him pull-ups, but that's not to say we won't at some later point. I like that he feels wet immediately with the training pants, but they soak up enough that it doesn't leave a mess behind. Training pants can be harder to find these days (not like when we were kids and that's all the option our parents had), I believe I found ours at Zellers. They are basically a thick underwear, made out of a similar material to long johns.
As with anything potty training is something that you need to find what works best for you and your child. I don't think there is a perfect way to do it. Just take a deep breath and relax, everyone gets it eventually.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Sick and Pregnant

As opposed to being sick because I'm pregnant, or sick of being pregnant.
I have what is known as seasonal flu. No, it's not H1N1, the symptoms are different. I woke up yesterday feeling slightly achy, but decided to brave it out and go to work. I knew by lunchtime I'd be staying home today. Last night I faced the chills and fatigue. Today, the chills and fever are gone, but the fatigue and a cough remain (a productive cough though, which is good).
My husband very generously offered to make me up a Neo Citran, which I couldn't accept because of the baby. I don't like to take anything when I'm pregnant, I even kicked my 1 a day Diet Coke habit for this little one. And then I tried to remember how did I handle being sick when I was pregnant the last 2 go rounds. Here's some home remedy tips that should help you out if you are ever in this same situation.
1. A nice warm bubble bath should take some of the edge off the chills
2. Likewise a hot shower will create the steam to help clear out any congestion you may have.
3. Take the time to rest - that's why we have sick days! Yes, I took my 2 year old to daycare today, I wouldn't have gotten a nap in otherwise. And yes, I relaxed my TV time allotment rule yesterday afternoon so I could sit up on the couch curled up in a quilt. It's just a day, it's not going to ruin them for life. Use your sick day to really rest, not catch up on stuff. The dishes, laundry and other household things can wait, they wouldn't have gotten done if you'd been at work anyways! If you are a stay at home mom, this is the time to cash in favors from friends and family, ship your kids out for a little while.
4. Make your own hot honey & lemon drink. No, it doesn't have the medicine of a Neo Citran, but it does help soothe a sore throat and cough. I have big Starbucks mugs, so I use 2 TBSP of honey and one TBSP of lemon juice to the boiling water. Smaller mugs can use less.
5. Prop yourself up a bit for sleep time - it won't irritate your cough and you'll get some much needed rest.
6. Boost up on Vitamin C. I don't like oranges (most people find this strange) - but I do like other things that contain Vitamin C, such as red peppers and strawberries. Today I munched on fresh pineapple.
7. Drink plenty of liquids - keep yourself hydrated
8. Dig out the humidifier and get it going for yourself
9. Change your bedding and your PJ's - you'll feel fresher and know you aren't sleeping in your old germs
10. Clean your toothbrush - same reason as above
11. Make yourself a warm moist cloth compress to put on your forehead, cheeks and/or eyes to relieve pressure from sinus pain
12. Ginger has long been used as a home remedy - try some ginger tea or some soup with ginger in it.
13. Cash in a backrub from your significant other - it sounds silly but it really does help fight flu and cold (I don't know why, you'll have to ask someone else about that part)
14. A warm foot soak can help relieve pain and pressure
15. Use a heating pad on your back or wherever you are finding an ache.

These are just some of my tips. You probably have some of your own to add to my list. Let me know in the comments section. Feel well and take care of yourself!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Is this supposed to be funny?

As I was teaching today I was reminded of something I really, really can't stand. Not just one, but many students wear shirts to school with a negative message on them. Now, I get that they are supposed to be humorous, but I just don't see how these shirts and messages strengthen the family and build up the child. Here's some real life examples I've seen.
"If I see it and like it, you buy it - any questions?"
"Sister for sale cheap"
"My parents are clever, but not as clever as me"
"Spoiled Brat"
"If you don't like my attitude then stop talking to me"
"I'm not trying to be difficult, it comes naturally"
As we live in a society where we complain about loss of family values, I just wonder what messages we are sending to our children. When we buy clothing like this we (their parents) are saying it's okay to have attitude, it's okay to be negative about your sibling, it's okay to be in charge of your own parents.
Think about messages you've seen on shirts. Do your own kids have clothing like this? Why? I'm curious. What kind of child do you want your child to be? Are we just buying into the message that kids have attitude so we'll just go with it? Or, are we striving for something else? The kids we raise are our future adults. They are decision makers. It is our responsibility to bring them up the best we can to help them become the best they can. The next time you are looking at graphic tees for your kids why not get one like one of these? (also ones I've really seen):
"Awesome"
"Smile"
"Dream Big"

Saturday, October 24, 2009

What's in a name?


I've been spending a lot of time on the message boards at Babyfit.com lately. One of my groups is all women who are due in the same month as me. One of the hot topics seems to be "what do you think of this name?", or, "is this name getting too popular?", or, "Name poll please". And really why not? Picking a name for your baby is a completely personal, permanent decision that will affect your child for the rest of their life.
Of course I have an opinion on the whole naming your kid thing. I find picking a name extremely difficult. Not just to pick one I like, but one my husband likes and one that doesn't have a negative effect on either of us from past associations (ex-boyfriends, ex-girlfriends, ex-friends, ex-students). Yes, ex-students is the one that affects me most. I've been teaching for 11+ years. In that time I've worked with a lot of kids and have a lot of name associations. It's because of this that I have some advice for parents to be when it comes to naming your child.
First and foremost, pick a name that you absolutely love. You will be hearing it a lot.
Then try it out. Call it out loud a bunch of times. Say it fast, say it slow. Does it say anything to you that's different than you originally intended? Here's an example. I taught a girl named Sonata once. Pretty name, pretty song. Now try saying it fast. Do you hear what I hear? "Snot-a". What about the name Tierney? Looks pretty, sounds pretty. Do you hear anything else with it? What about 'tyranny'? Maybe not what you had in mind at first?
What about middle names and initials? Sometimes they spell words. Be careful what you are unintentionally spelling. Did you know that Michael J. Fox's middle name is really Andrew? He used a "J" instead of an "A" because he didn't want to be called Michael, a fox.
Think about nick-names too. Is the name you love going to get shortened into something you or your child may grow to hate?
What does the name mean? Is that important to you? I love the name Mary, but Mary means bitter. It makes be think twice about using it. Does your name have a meaning at all? Think of Suri Cruise. That is an example of a made up name. There is no meaning (unless you want to attach one to it). Or does your name mean something or associate with something that your child may not enjoy? I've taught a Pagan. Maybe her parents are pagans, but will she be? Delilah is a very pretty name gaining in popularity these days but I think Rachel on FRIENDS said it best, "my daughter's a biblical whore". (or something to that affect - before settling on Emma).
Speaking of which, how much does media and celebrity come into play when naming your child? I've taught Mariahs, Shanias, Kobes and Kieras. Emma was extremely rare before Emma was born on Friends. We're starting to see Maddox and Shiloh thanks to the Pitt-Jolie family.
How about popularity? Does that matter to you? I grew up as one of a few Kris's. Mine's Kristen. I've been Kris, Krissy, Kristi and Kristen over the course of my life so far. I was known as Krissy D. in school to differentiate me from Chrissy N. Had my brother been a girl he would have been one of many Jennifers that came out of the '70's. Jennifer is the most popular name among my friends. They survived it.
In my teaching career I've seen the wave of Ashleys and Jessicas. The Nathans and Ethans. I've had classes with 4 Brandons and variations similar (Brendan, Brayden, Brennan). Right now we're seeing the effects of girl M names - Makayla, Madison, Mackenzie, and Megan. Most classes I teach have at least one Aidan version (Jayden, Cayden, Brayden, Bayden, Kaydan, and Zayden - both male and female). And J's are usually Josh or Jacob. Many girls right now are Kira, Kiera, Kayla, Kara, and Kayla. Not sure where the name you love fits? Ask a teacher friend. Check popular names list (and check multiple spellings - Makayla doesn't usually make the list but when you look at all the spelling possibilities, it's one of the top ones (McKayla, Michaela, Mackayla etc).
And about spelling. Does spelling count? Well, do you want your child going through life spelling their name? Or, having someone not knowing what they said? I've had one Micheal in my career. I can imagine how often he says not Michael (traditional) but Micheal (made up spelling). Maybe he just goes by Mike by now?
And think about things like pre-made items with your child's name on it (mugs, piggy banks and bike license plates). Can you find your child's name in there? Does that matter to you? Do you think it might to your child?
How much does family influence matter to you? Are you prepared to defend your choice should your parents (or his) hate it? Or, do their objections make sense. Are they thinking about your child and how they will live with the name you want to give them? Maybe their objections are genuinely valid? Are you able to stand up to your own when they think they have found the perfect name for your child? My Nana was so sure and so insistant that we call our second child David. Nothing wrong with the name David, in fact we know lots of them, just not the name we wanted for our son. One thing to remember when it comes to family and baby naming, they've already had a shot at naming their kids, this one's yours.
And do you love the name you love so much that you are okay with keeping it no matter what? One my husband's good friends and his wife have a little boy 2 months older than our oldest son. Both boys have the same name. We had picked it and fell in love with it when I was 4 months pregnant. I couldn't believe that they had the same name all picked out. Oh well, 2 little boys who are extremely loved are growing up with the same name and sometimes they play together.
I'm just waiting now to see what happens with these next round of babies. You see my counterpart on this site, Jill and I are both pregnant (again at the same time - round 3). Our oldest kids are 7 weeks apart, our seconds are 7 weeks the other way around and now her next one is coming in Nov. and mine in Feb. We both have 2 boys and I'm just wondering if these babies are girls. I have a girl name all picked out and have for a few months now. Wouldn't it just be funny if she beat me to the punch? (although if she sticks with the "A" theme it won't happen). For the record I currently have no boy name picked out, but my husband has one he loves.
When it comes to naming your kids, it is up to you. You love what you love for a reason. So let it be. And let it be what it is. These are just tips and things to think about that I've learned and thought about along the way.
To find out more about naming your baby check these sites out:

-Find name meanings and store your favorites in a name basket - http://www.babyzone.com/babynames/

-Name generator with suggestions for first and middle names that go with your last name - http://babynamegenie.com/

-List of most popular names by countries around the world - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_most_popular_given_names

-List of the most popular baby names in Canada, 2007 - http://www.todaysparent.com/pregnancybirth/becomingparent/article.jsp?content=20050617_144619_5504

-Tracking the most popular baby names since 1879 in the USA - http://www.ssa.gov/OACT/babynames/

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