Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Everyone Loves A Giveaway
I found a great giveaway on one of my favorite mommy sites today! So good I almost don't want to share the news with you :o) Raising my 4 Sons is offering a giveaway of See Kai Run shoes. These are fantastic shoes for little ones (http://seekairun.com). Entries need to be in by 1st of September so don't miss out!
Monday, August 24, 2009
Not Me Monday
I did not let stress get to me this week. I certainly did not let a certain 4 letter word slip out in front of my 2 year old, when just one more thing went wrong. He certainly did not immediately repeat said word. Because I very carefully guard my mouth at all times so only kind and loving things emit from it :o)
Friday, August 21, 2009
Kid Picture of the Week - new weekly meme!
I know it's a cliche - "A picture is worth a thousand words". If you don't believe it, take a look at the one below. It's my son, last Saturday. Do you have pictures like these hanging around your photo albums? If so, we invite you to participate in our new Friday feature - Kid Picture of the week. While I'm still trying to figure out Mr. Linky, please leave your link in our comments box. I'm looking forward to seeing what treasures you have :o)
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Thoughts for Thursday
So it appears that I am in the minority according to last week's poll. Most people (76%) do find out the sex of their babies before they are born, the rest are people like me. Very interesting, I think.
So onto today's topic and it is another one of those what do you do with other parent's type poll. It is based on a real life situation that happened to us last weekend. Our boys were playing in the McDonald's playplace. Yes, we keep an eye on them in there and it's a good thing too. Our oldest (he's 5) started crying in pain. We called him down and sure enough another boy had grabbed him on the face and pinched and pulled (leaving large scratch marks down his cheek). I guess my son had been playing with one of the cranks up there and the other boy wanted it now and wouldn't wait his turn so he reacted physically. My son was pretty good about it considering and calmed down fairly quickly. He then went to tell the boy that he didn't want him to do that and that he was hurt.
I could see my husband go through those emotions that all of us go through when something like this happens which is anger and wanting to confront the parent (who was oblivious and continued to let her child play), but he maintained his cool and worried about our son.
So what would you do? This isn't the first time I've seen parents be completely oblivious to the behaviour of their child in a public play space. Do you say something. Lose your cool with them? Speak to the child yourself? Let it go? Something else completely? I'm interested, let us know!
So onto today's topic and it is another one of those what do you do with other parent's type poll. It is based on a real life situation that happened to us last weekend. Our boys were playing in the McDonald's playplace. Yes, we keep an eye on them in there and it's a good thing too. Our oldest (he's 5) started crying in pain. We called him down and sure enough another boy had grabbed him on the face and pinched and pulled (leaving large scratch marks down his cheek). I guess my son had been playing with one of the cranks up there and the other boy wanted it now and wouldn't wait his turn so he reacted physically. My son was pretty good about it considering and calmed down fairly quickly. He then went to tell the boy that he didn't want him to do that and that he was hurt.
I could see my husband go through those emotions that all of us go through when something like this happens which is anger and wanting to confront the parent (who was oblivious and continued to let her child play), but he maintained his cool and worried about our son.
So what would you do? This isn't the first time I've seen parents be completely oblivious to the behaviour of their child in a public play space. Do you say something. Lose your cool with them? Speak to the child yourself? Let it go? Something else completely? I'm interested, let us know!
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Clever Thoughts -- Tame vs Civilized
Do you remember Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handy? I'm dating myself, I know. But I thought I would make Tuesday our day for slightly less irrelevent Clever Thoughts. I am known for beginning lengthy monologues with the phrase: "I have a theory about that, actually . . . ". So I thought it would be fun to post some of those, along with ideas and activities and occasionally products that are, well, clever.
I have a cat. She is generally referred to by others as the "Do you still have that evil cat in your basement?" cat. Her name is Beckett (serves me right for naming my cat after a reclusive, postmodern playwright). She lives in my house, and she is tame -- she can not catch a mouse, and she would survive in the wild for about 10 seconds. But she is definitely not civilized. She hisses and growls at everyone but me, and only really pays attention to me when she is hungry or when she wants to sit on my sewing.
My children, conversely, are definitely not tame. When they arrive at the park, most of the other parents are taken aback as my two boys tear around the park, ignoring the equiptment and yelling, "I'm BATMAN" and making shooting noises. They like to wear stripes and checks in contrasting colours at the same time. They tend not to give the "right" answer to questions, or do the playgroup craft in the proper order (they do the cutting and gluing before the colouring). They climb big rocks by themselves and run up and down the sidewalk in front of our house relatively unsupervised. They are just a little bit wild.
But I am trying to teach them to be civilized. To respect others and treat them with kindness and compassion. To think about how their actions effect their friends and family, and society as a whole, rather than just doing what is best for them. To respect authority figures and obey the rules of the house. To follow the rules that matter -- the ones that allow us all to live together well -- but not to conform simply for the sake of conformity. To gain the self confidence that comes through overcoming adversity and acting virtuously. I would like to teach them to be the sort of people who make civilization work.
Really civilized people are not always tame -- they stand up when others fall back and hide in the crowd. They speak out when something needs to be said, but no one has the courage to say it. They take risks and rise to challenges and reject mediocrity. They stand out and, like Aslan in the Chronicles of Narnia, they might not be safe, but they are good.
How would you define the difference between tame and civilized?
I have a cat. She is generally referred to by others as the "Do you still have that evil cat in your basement?" cat. Her name is Beckett (serves me right for naming my cat after a reclusive, postmodern playwright). She lives in my house, and she is tame -- she can not catch a mouse, and she would survive in the wild for about 10 seconds. But she is definitely not civilized. She hisses and growls at everyone but me, and only really pays attention to me when she is hungry or when she wants to sit on my sewing.
My children, conversely, are definitely not tame. When they arrive at the park, most of the other parents are taken aback as my two boys tear around the park, ignoring the equiptment and yelling, "I'm BATMAN" and making shooting noises. They like to wear stripes and checks in contrasting colours at the same time. They tend not to give the "right" answer to questions, or do the playgroup craft in the proper order (they do the cutting and gluing before the colouring). They climb big rocks by themselves and run up and down the sidewalk in front of our house relatively unsupervised. They are just a little bit wild.
But I am trying to teach them to be civilized. To respect others and treat them with kindness and compassion. To think about how their actions effect their friends and family, and society as a whole, rather than just doing what is best for them. To respect authority figures and obey the rules of the house. To follow the rules that matter -- the ones that allow us all to live together well -- but not to conform simply for the sake of conformity. To gain the self confidence that comes through overcoming adversity and acting virtuously. I would like to teach them to be the sort of people who make civilization work.
Really civilized people are not always tame -- they stand up when others fall back and hide in the crowd. They speak out when something needs to be said, but no one has the courage to say it. They take risks and rise to challenges and reject mediocrity. They stand out and, like Aslan in the Chronicles of Narnia, they might not be safe, but they are good.
How would you define the difference between tame and civilized?
Monday, August 17, 2009
Not Me Monday (by Jill this week)
I definitely did not eat half a box of Kraft Dinner (macaroni and cheese) right after doing my prenatal workout this week. I would never have such processed poisons in my house, nor would I ever feed them to my unborn child. And it was not the only workout I got in all week long.
I did not confiscate the telescoping mop handle from my two year old because he had taken it off the mop and was swinging it at his older brother. Furthermore, I did not then lose the handle and use it as an excuse not to mop for three days, leaving a squashed grape skin on the floor.
I did not let my children watch the same episode of "Word Girl" on an endless 10 min. loop while I washed the dishes from the day before, nor did I, the next day, let them watch an extra episode of Dora while I finished a blog post.
I did not confiscate the telescoping mop handle from my two year old because he had taken it off the mop and was swinging it at his older brother. Furthermore, I did not then lose the handle and use it as an excuse not to mop for three days, leaving a squashed grape skin on the floor.
I did not let my children watch the same episode of "Word Girl" on an endless 10 min. loop while I washed the dishes from the day before, nor did I, the next day, let them watch an extra episode of Dora while I finished a blog post.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Mama Burn Out
You might have noticed that I haven't been around this space much lately. I've been leaving most of the work to Kris. This was due to some serious burn out. This has just been one of those years in our life as a family where it was one thing after another. It seems like when a family has one of those years, it is often the mother that is left trying to hold things together.
Of course, you can only hold onto so many things before something starts to slip or drop. Usually the thing that drops for me is the good habits that keep me healthy. I stay up late, I forget to shower, I don't drink enough water, I can't seem to find the time I need to refresh myself. Instead of doing the things that would actually help to improve my state of mind I do things that will just help me to feel good right now and get through this moment. I surf the internet instead of washing the dishes. I eat chocolate instead of grabbing a piece of fruit. I let my kids watch more tv instead of taking them out to the park or phoning up a friend with kids. I yell at my children once they are already into mischief, instead of stopping their behavior as soon as I see it starting. I do everything wrong.
The more I make the wrong choices, the worse I feel about myself. And the worse I feel about myself, the more I feel defeated by life. And the more I feel defeated by life, the harder it is to think positively and problem solve well, or to deal with my children in a positive and proactive manner.
I am feeling better now, after getting a lot of free time to sleep and just be during our vacation, thanks to my husband and the fact that this was the first vacation I haven't been breastfeeding in about 5 years.
So the question is, when things get tough, how can you keep yourself from falling into burn out in the first place? I was talking with another one of my mom friends about this, and we came up with a couple of ideas:
Hire a regular babysitter -- if you and your husband are both maxxed out, hire a babysitter to give you a break once a week. Even two hours of child free time can be enough to get you through the week
Make a self care checklist to go through when you are feeling particularly aggrivated -- I find that often when my temper is about to flare at my kids, it is because my needs are not being met. But a list of 10 things that stop me from being irritable can help when I am beyond reasoning. For instance, my list might include:
Get your sleep -- even if it means you don't get time to read a book and check your email. Sleep will help you to think clearly and that will help everyone have a better day.
Do the necessary before the fun -- I am one of those people who is easily bored by routine. I have to remind myself that the routine tidying and organizing and cleaning I do is necessary to help us have a good day the next day. If I go to sleep without finishing the dishes, it means I have to wash them after breakfast when I should be playing with the boys for a bit, or taking them to the park. If I don't get the laundry cleaned and folded, we will be scrambling to find Andrew pants for school in the morning. If I get the necessary things done, our days will run more smoothly and will be able to be more in the moment
On the other hand, take some time to recharge -- Find an activity that feeds your mind and soul. Then find a way to do it. I need to be creative, so I have my sewing machine in the corner of the playroom. That way I can get a little sewing time in during the day while the boys play (most days I can get 15 - 30 min of sewing before the fights start). If you need to read, bring a book to the park and see if you can get a few pages read while the kids are busy playing.
Create regular breaks for everyone throughout the day
-- there's a reason why coffee breaks and lunches are enforced in the workplace. Our ability to reason and respond well goes down hill if we do not take breaks. Sit and have a snack with your kids in the morning instead of rushing around while they eat. Enforce a quiet time in the afternoons where the kids are quiet and relatively self sufficient while you take a break.
What do you do to take care of yourself and stay out of burn out?
Of course, you can only hold onto so many things before something starts to slip or drop. Usually the thing that drops for me is the good habits that keep me healthy. I stay up late, I forget to shower, I don't drink enough water, I can't seem to find the time I need to refresh myself. Instead of doing the things that would actually help to improve my state of mind I do things that will just help me to feel good right now and get through this moment. I surf the internet instead of washing the dishes. I eat chocolate instead of grabbing a piece of fruit. I let my kids watch more tv instead of taking them out to the park or phoning up a friend with kids. I yell at my children once they are already into mischief, instead of stopping their behavior as soon as I see it starting. I do everything wrong.
The more I make the wrong choices, the worse I feel about myself. And the worse I feel about myself, the more I feel defeated by life. And the more I feel defeated by life, the harder it is to think positively and problem solve well, or to deal with my children in a positive and proactive manner.
I am feeling better now, after getting a lot of free time to sleep and just be during our vacation, thanks to my husband and the fact that this was the first vacation I haven't been breastfeeding in about 5 years.
So the question is, when things get tough, how can you keep yourself from falling into burn out in the first place? I was talking with another one of my mom friends about this, and we came up with a couple of ideas:
Hire a regular babysitter -- if you and your husband are both maxxed out, hire a babysitter to give you a break once a week. Even two hours of child free time can be enough to get you through the week
Make a self care checklist to go through when you are feeling particularly aggrivated -- I find that often when my temper is about to flare at my kids, it is because my needs are not being met. But a list of 10 things that stop me from being irritable can help when I am beyond reasoning. For instance, my list might include:
- eat a snack
- have a shower
- wash your face and get dressed
- change your location
- find something funny about the situation
- drink some water
- get some exersise
- play with the boys for 10 min
Get your sleep -- even if it means you don't get time to read a book and check your email. Sleep will help you to think clearly and that will help everyone have a better day.
Do the necessary before the fun -- I am one of those people who is easily bored by routine. I have to remind myself that the routine tidying and organizing and cleaning I do is necessary to help us have a good day the next day. If I go to sleep without finishing the dishes, it means I have to wash them after breakfast when I should be playing with the boys for a bit, or taking them to the park. If I don't get the laundry cleaned and folded, we will be scrambling to find Andrew pants for school in the morning. If I get the necessary things done, our days will run more smoothly and will be able to be more in the moment
On the other hand, take some time to recharge -- Find an activity that feeds your mind and soul. Then find a way to do it. I need to be creative, so I have my sewing machine in the corner of the playroom. That way I can get a little sewing time in during the day while the boys play (most days I can get 15 - 30 min of sewing before the fights start). If you need to read, bring a book to the park and see if you can get a few pages read while the kids are busy playing.
Create regular breaks for everyone throughout the day
-- there's a reason why coffee breaks and lunches are enforced in the workplace. Our ability to reason and respond well goes down hill if we do not take breaks. Sit and have a snack with your kids in the morning instead of rushing around while they eat. Enforce a quiet time in the afternoons where the kids are quiet and relatively self sufficient while you take a break.
What do you do to take care of yourself and stay out of burn out?
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