Supernanny

I know, I'm really behind on the times with this post. It's very apparent that I haven't had cable for years. We have cable now simply because we moved and cable is included in our rent. So I'm making TV discoveries and my favorite is the Supernanny. I love her. And I love that she's on W every day. She has some completely practical advice and then guides you through it. I have to say that I admire these parents for opening up their homes and allowing her in. I can't imagine exposing all of my parenting mistakes that way.
Back to what I love. I love that she is kind and firm about discipline. She doesn't give in to the demands of children and teaches parents how to do that in a loving way. I love that she approaches time out as a method and teaches parents how to use it. Often we use time out and warnings but with no real idea how to make this effective. I love that she teaches parents not to put up with any guff from their kids, she demands respect from them and gets results. I also love that she loves kids. It's very apparent that this is why she does what she does. She cares about families. She views having children as a choice, a choice that you must follow through with in raising them, not just letting them go when it gets hard (because parenting does get hard). It is a difficult full time job that is with you for years and years and years. You can't just quit on your kids.
So thank you Jo Frost for doing what you do and letting me get tips from you that really work with my kids.

Full Hands

I have found that three children = full hands. All. the. time. Someone is constantly hungry, dirty, needing help or making a mess that will require cleaning. Then there is laundry to fold, dishes to wash, and floors that constantly need sweeping / vaccuming / scrubbing. Not to mention the odd pieces of lego drifting around the bathroom, the sippy cups hiding under beds and couches, and the essential missing piece of playmobil that must be found right this moment! Add to this a baby who doesn't particularly like the sling, and would much prefer mom's arms, and an energetic preschooler who hates the cold, and there is no time to type. Sorry to be so absent from this spot lately, friends, but I am a bit overwhelmed.

Good Morning?

Please excuse any bleary eyed typos, it's been one of those nights with the baby. I was so pleased that she had seemed to realise that midnight to 4am was not awake time the past 2 weeks and lulled into the belief that I had finally had the perfect child. One who sleeps at night, wakes to eat and goes right back to sleep again. I had forgotten that a baby's sleep cycle is completely different from ours and that her awake time rotated a little bit at a time. So sneaky that. And not appreciated at all while wandering the halls this morning at 3:30am pleading with her to sleep (she finally caved at about 10 past 4).
The notion of sleep while baby sleeps works very, very well when it is your first baby. The third baby? It's a nice thought, but not at all practical when you have a kindergarten child to get up and ready. And let's not forget the preschooler looking for mama to play with him once brother is at school. So this morning I'm compromising. My kindergarten child is safely delivered to school. My preschooler and I are just finishing our banana bread breakfast, and I'm quite content to let him watch a little Playhouse Disney while I snooze on the futon in the living room. He can cuddle up with me. As for baby? She's out cold in the downstairs bassinet.

Eat Your Veggies!

I've written about my picky eater before. He's my second child. He's turning 3 this weekend. I thought he would be getting better with his eating. He's not. He's getting much worse.
I know there are some of you out there who will insist that any child can be a good eater. I really don't know what to say to you except, congratulate yourself on a job well done with your child who will eat everything, and please don't continue to make the rest of us feel bad by pointing out that you just put sushi in front of your little one and they ate it up no problem. Same with enchiladas, lasagna and any sort of vegetable. My little guy won't even eat corn. I forced him (and yes, I use the word forced) to eat one spoonful of peas last Thursday and you would have thought I was pulling his arm off for all the noise he made.
"I NO LIKE THIS!" he screamed as he spit it back out at me. The only way that I got the little bit of it into him that I did was that he knew I had made custard for desert. He wasn't getting any without eating that spoonful.
And yes, I've tried all the tricks. He doesn't eat what is served for lunch?, there isn't any more food served to him until the next meal. We are cutting out all liquids in between meals except for water so he can't fill up on them. He just wants to eat what he wants to eat and is really, really stubborn about the rest of it.
He loves breakfast foods (cereal, toast, muffins and yogurt). But you can see the pattern there, bread and dairy. He continues to only eat fruit if it is dried (raisins, fruit leathers, apricots) or purred (all varieties of applesauce) and will only eat veggies unknowingly because I've hidden them inside pancakes or muffins or something else I know he will eat. Yes, I serve him the same foods we are eating at every meal (I will always offer). He refuses most meats except for chicken (sometimes he will eat fish, thinking it is chicken). And I really don't know what to do about it anymore.
My first child is not like this. He had his picky stage and grew out of it. At 5, he's a really good eater, surprising me even today my eating avacado. He was quite logical about getting out of picky eating. When he was 3 he didn't want to eat his veggies and started getting constipated as a result. We told him that eating his veggies would help make his poo not hurt any more. He started eating his veggies. For a while even declaring at the dinner table, "I don't want my poo to hurt!" (So much fun when you are in a restaurant). This same kind of logic doesn't work on my 2nd boy. He doesn't care, if he doesn't like it, or like the look of it, he won't eat it. And it's surprising to me what he won't eat. He loves applesauce but won't touch an apple. He loves strawberry "fruit to go" fruit leathers, won't even lick a strawberry to taste that it really is delicious too. I don't know, I just don't know. Do you?

Are Babies Really Confused?

There's been a lot of talk on the idea of nipple confusion. I don't think babies are confused as much as have a developed preference. Bottle feeding is a lot less work for them, so really it just makes sense if you are breastfeeding to wait to introduce a bottle. Make sure your supply is up and breastfeeding is well established before offering a bottle. By the same token if you do want your baby to bottle feed once in a while, don't wait as long as I did with my second child. He was 5 months old and wouldn't take it. He only wanted the goods from the source. A panic for me who was getting ready to go back to work. Generally speaking, wait a good month or so, then give it a try. You certainly can pump and freeze your milk in the meantime to have some ready for when you are ready for an evening out sans baby.
One nurse that I met with with my first child had me so worked up over this idea of nipple confusion that I was panicked to offer him a pacifier. So you can imagine my surprise when my newest addition was offered a pacifier in the hospital by the nurses. What was this? What about the nipple confusion? She hasn't figured out breastfeeding yet! The answer? Non-nutritive sucking. Babies have a strong desire to suck. It is an important part of their development. Sucking on a pacifier helps build their jaw and muscle strength (making for better breastfeeding). And let's face it, they are going to figure out pretty fast that the pacifier does not supply them with food. They will spit it out and demand the real thing. And it may just do what it should, soothe them. (makes me wish I'd listened to my instincts with my first and just given him the soother when I knew he wasn't hungry, he just wanted to suck). I think that's the mistake that pacifier opponents are worried about, parents over using the soother. Giving it instead of the breast. Or, too early from feeding so that the baby doesn't really get a good feed with the hindmilk causing the baby not to gain weight. Like anything with parenting decisions, use common sense when it comes to pacifier use. The'll take it if they want it.

Life in the NICU - Community

This is my last post on life in the NICU. I'm a couple of weeks removed from it now and think I've gotten most of what I wanted to say out of me. One last thing that struck me is how much community support I've gotten on this journey. First, from the staff at the NICU itself. They know what an unexpected journey having a preemie baby is. They are wonderfully well trained to not only help your baby get through, but also to help you get through too. Secondly, the other parents whose babies are in the NICU at the same time. You are all on different parts of the journey. You may not chat very much (if at all), but you know by the looks and smiles at each other that you all understand. Finally, my most unexpected source of NICU community was found online. A number of people have contacted me who have been through the NICU journey (on both this blog and my others). I was really touched and encouraged by your messages. So thank you!
If you are reading this post at some point because you are going through an NICU journey, don't hesitate to leave me a comment to let me know. I'd love to be a voice of encouragement for you. You aren't in this journey alone.

Life in the NICU - routine

It's amazing how fast you can adapt to a new situation and find the comfort of routine in it. During our month at the NICU, the strangeness wore off and routine set in. I found the best places to park at various times of the day (it always helps to park in the same spots if you can swing it). I knew at any given time which were the best elevators to take. Even my 2 year old found routine comforting. He helped close our privacy curtain and knew once the baby had finished eating it was time to find the pump. You just do. You learn to deal with the curveball life has thrown at you and you go with it.
Here's what our day looked like:
-drive to hospital
-park and go in to the 2nd floor
-wash hands
-say hello to nurse, get update
-change baby's diaper
-get her vitals checked
-weigh her
-close curtain
-feed her
-weigh to check how much she's eaten
-top up with gavoge
-put her back to bed
-get pump
-pump milk
-label and store milk
-clean pump and pump kit
-go home
repeat routine several times a day

The few days following our daughter's discharge from the NICU I felt disoriented. What was I going to do with my time? I had to create a whole new routine for us. There is comfort in it.