When your friend's child has food allergies . . .

My oldest son, Andrew, has food allergies. His allergies are not life threatening, but if he were to eat three strawberries, drink a glass of pop containing caffeine or have several licks of an ice cream cone he would have such bad intestinal pain and gas that he would be out of commission for several days. His behavior would deteriorate, his sleep would be disrupted and he would develop an uncomfortable rash that might stay around for a month or more. No, I would not have to pull out an epi pen, nor would he have to be rushed to the hospital, but we would all be a lot happier if he had not eaten the food he was allergic to.

Some kids can eat small amounts of one food that bothers them, but eating several small amounts of several foods that bother them could overload their body the same as eating a lot of one food that they are allergic to. My son is mildly allergic to tomatoes, strawberries, peanuts, caffeine, chocolate, and all milk products. This means that if he has a chocolate chip cookie, he will be okay. If someone accidentally puts butter on vegetables and serves them to him, he'll have a bit of a sore tummy, but otherwise be fine. But if he were to have a piece of chocolate cake with icing made with butter and a hot dog with whey in it at a birthday party, he would be writhing in pain at about 11pm that night. Other common allergens in this category are soy, eggs and red food colouring.

If neither you nor your children have allergies, it can be easy to forget about or dismiss other kids' mild allergies. Many of the foods we think of as being "kid friendly" are the very ones that will upset they systems of kids with allergies. Below I have provided a list of do's and don't, along with a couple of stories about what it can be like for a young child with food allergies.

Do NOT:

• Decide they are being over-protective and serve their child something that contains an allergen.


• Comment in front of their child that they are missing "the good stuff" at a party or social event.


• Make a big point about their allergies in front of the child's friends.


• Ignore or dismiss their child when they tell you they can not eat something -- even if they are a pre-schooler.


• Put toppings on the child's food -- butter, soya sauce, salsa, ketchup, whipped cream or chocolate chips may be harmless enough for most kids, but they could cause a major reaction in an allergic kid.


• Give them seasonal "treats" such as milk chocolate or red suckers as the soul gift at a seasonal party or event.

One time we went to a supper that was held after a fund raising event. The food had been provided by several ladies at the local church. They had each made a casserole. Quick, think of a casserole that doesn't have milk, cheese or tomatoes in it. Oh, there isn't one. My son ate plain white rolls and carrot sticks for supper. For dessert, a local store had donated chocolate bars for the kids. Again, my son had to watch all the kids around him break into their chocolate bars, and be left with nothing. Several well meaning people offered to get him a chocolate bar, or to share theirs with him. I had foolishly assumed that there would be something there he could eat, and had brought no alternative options. We left the event early, and my son cried in disappointment and frustration on the way home.

DO:

• Have a chat with mom about the food you will be serving at a party or event. Most moms with allergic kids will gladly bring along some soy ice cream or jelly bean easter eggs so their child can join in the fun. I have even brought a sub along to a party where the main meal was to be pizza.


• Discreetly discuss food preparation with your friend or their older child before you add things that might bother them. Keep one cupcake un-iced until you check with someone.


• Offer a choice of toppings on the side at a meal or event.


• Sympathize with or distract your friend's child if their allergy is not taken into consideration at an event.


• If your friend visits frequently, keep alternate products that store well on hand. One family we visit often keeps a small container of soy ice cream in their deep freeze for Andrew. Pea butter for sandwiches is a nice alternative for slightly peanut allergic kids.


• Add a few basic foods, such as rice, potatoes or bread and a plain protein option at a family gathering or pot luck. Good desserts to add to cake and ice cream are watermelon or Rice Krispie squares or gummi bears. Set a bit of dough aside before you add the chocolate chips to that batch of cookies or banana bread. If you do not have time to do this, ask the mom to bring something their child can eat to share with all the kids.


• Give pencils, balloons, noise makers, art supplies or stickers instead of food items in goodie bags or seasonal swaps.

One time my son's allergies were handled well was when my son's playschool class went on a tour of Dairy Queen on their last day of school. The trip ended, predictably, with all the kids having a chance to make their own ice cream cone. My son walked out proudly holding the ice cream cone he had made on the cool big machine, only to have to give the cone to his little brother and watch all his friends eat ice cream around him. I could see that he was on a downhill spiral towards a meltdown as he asked, "How come they don't serve soy ice cream here?". One of his friends' moms wisely said, "They should serve soy ice cream. That would be great, wouldn't it?". This comment raised my son's spirits. We then asked the store manager for an official dairy queen cone that he could fill with soy ice cream when he got home. This was enough to get him past his disappointment, and he happily socialized with his friends while they ate their cones.

Have Kids, Will Travel

Before kids, travel was one of those things people warned us about. You know the "You better enjoy it now because you won't be able to after you have kids" warnings. Right up there with reading and being on time (both of which I still accomplish). While it's true that our travel is different than before we had kids, it is not true that having kids makes travel impossible. In the first year of my first son's life we traveled to Ottawa, England, B.C. and Saskatchewan. In subsequent years (and one more child later) we have revisited some of those places and added Cape Breton, PEI, New Hampshire, and New York to the mix. We've done car trips, airplane trips and train rides. We've been in hotels, tents and relatives' guest rooms. And we've learned a few tricks along the way.
Number one is be prepared. Know your child well and plan for their needs and personality quirks. They can only handle so much, so be ready. Our first trip with our son (he was 6 weeks old at the time) was driving to Ottawa (a good day and a bit to get there from here). We knew that it would take us longer than it had when it was just the two of us. We were also traveling with a good friend who had never had kids of his own so we made sure he knew what he was getting himself into before he committed. We got it down to quite a science really. We would drive for about 3 hours, my son would sleep. When he woke up we pulled over, I got him out of his car seat to nurse, my husband and his friend pulled out their books and read for the next 40 minutes or so. Once my son was finished, back in the car seat he went and off we went to the next stop.
Our second trip didn't go nearly as smoothly. We made the fatal mistake a lot of parents new to traveling with kids make, we over packed. Just because the airline will allow you to bring all of this extra baby stuff doesn't mean you have to take it. I really don't know what we were thinking. I didn't need to pack a whole package of diapers, they sell diapers in England too. We brought the playpen for my son to sleep in. Mistake! He hardly used it (I was so aware of waking up my husband's grandparents that he ended up sleeping with us most of the time). And it was very awkward to carry (my husband almost left it in the train station in London he was so frustrated). Never mind that my husband's cousin had a child a couple of years older than our son and let us borrow any and all baby paraphanalia we so desired. We learned. We now travel as minimally as possible. If it is going to take up too much room we don't bring it, unless necessary.
So here's a list of tips for kid friendly travel (and a few products we've collected along the way that help make travel easier)
1. The portable DVD player. Whatever else you may feel about kids watching videos, let's face it, they are going to be stuck in one spot riding in a car for many, many hours on a long driving trip. They aren't getting any exercise anyways and they are going to get bored. We bought this one (with 2 screens, so both kids had their own view) last summer when we were driving to PEI (4 hours). It worked very well. It also worked well when my friend Jen and I drove our kids to New York this spring (a day and a half of driving), we think this prevented a lot of sqabbling and saved our sanity somewhat :o).

2. The harness that looks like a cute stuffed toy/backpack. This was an absolute God-send for our second child. I was worried about things like traveling on the subway in New York as my boy decided that this was a good time to be more independant and walk rather than ride in the stroller. A friend of mine had one for her daughter and I couldn't wait to find out where she got it. (Wal-Mart) Some people have problems with putting kids into a harness (they see it like a leash), but for me it's a way of helping a child stay safe and teaching them close proximity to Mama in a busy place. Most of the time my son holds my hand while he has it on anyway.

3. The sling. I wish I had known about slinging with my first son. I certainly loved it with my second. I brought the sling as my only way to take my son around while we explored England on his first visit there. It was great. No lugging around a big stroller. No worries about how to get the stroller up into historical sites that have stairs. And storage is so easy, just fold it up and stuff it in the diaper bag. He slept in it and watched the world in it. I definately recommend a sling even if you aren't travelling to use with a baby.

4. A Surprise Bag. Kids love getting new things. And new things keep kids occupied. A surprise bag can contain things like a new coloring book and crayons, a storybook, a Where's Waldo or Eye Spy book, a new action figure (or whatever the current interest is). There doesn't need to be many things and you certainly don't need to spend a lot of money to make one. The last surprise bag I made for my son I found some things at a second-hand store and some at the discount section of Wal-Mart. You also don't need to take everything out right away. One at a time does nicely.
5. Snacks - the non-messy kind. This is what things like dried fruit and juice boxes were made for. Think of what your kids like to eat. Decide what is most portable and the least messy (you really don't want to pull over just to wipe peanut butter off of your child, the car seat and the window do you?) and pack a little bag. Keep it close to you. Just when the kids get bored and are about to ask the dreaded, "are we there yet", intervene and ask who wants a snack. Works like a charm.
6. Family friendly restaurants, airlines and hotels. Check ahead. My favorite airline to fly in Canada is Westjet. They encourage babies to cry on takeoff and landing (helps with their ears), they have baby/small child seating areas - so you know your neighbour understands what it is like to travel with a small child and won't give you 'the look' - they are more than happy to help with warming bottles (if you are bottle feeding). They are one of the airlines that does allow for free baby stuff for travel (2 items), a stroller, car-seat, playpen whatever... and they have Satellite TV across the country meaning my kids can watch Treehouse the whole way across. Very nice for a long journey. We've had success with other airlines too, but check their child/baby policies beforehand. Research really does help. Most hotels will provide playpens with baby bedding at no additional cost too. I find it very important to use our car trip stops to be at a kid friendly restaurant. The last thing your child needs after being cooped up all morning is to be told to sit down and be quiet for lunch. They need to play, they need to stretch their legs and runaround. This is the time to look for a play-place (or a rest-stop with a playground, if you are going picnic style).
I hope some of these tips help you out. The most important thing is to know your child, know what they can handle and plan for it. Travelling can be great fun, just plan a little and relax.

The Big Mess

These are my kids' toys. Most of them. More were added to the pile after this picture was taken. Why do we have such a pile of toys? It all started when one of my boys informed me he didn't have enough blocks to build his castle. Well of course he didn't because there were maybe 5 blocks in the actual block container. The rest were in various toy storage places around the house: downstairs where we keep the hockey sticks (spare pucks perhaps), in the drawers under his bed, in my handy dandy living room storage baskets and scattered randomly in the closet. We'd also started to run out of Duplo, couldn't find any of the doctor's kit and didn't have quite enough firetrucks to run the Fire Department. The toys were a real mess. A somewhat neat mess, they were all put away somewhere, but absolutely no organisation left to them whatsoever.
This is a thing about being a parent that other parents don't warn you about. You know your kids will have toys, what nobody tells you is how the toys start to take over. I looked at this pile and though, really? Really and truly our kids have this many toys? How did this happen? I also realise that more toys are coming (my son turns 5 next month).
So armed with baskets and containers (and the notion of a garage sale in mind), we (meaning mostly me) searched the house for toys...all the toys. My kids got a great kick out of the fact that Mama was the one making the big mess! And then we began to sort. A pile like this can look intimidating unless you have a plan in mind. We started with the Duplo and worked our way from there (brush blocks, regular blocks, airplanes, trucks/cars, animal/people figures, instruments, dress up, doctor's kit, tools, puzzles...). The kids really did dig in and help (especially as they realised that they could find long lost 'favorites'. At the end we had something resembling this:

This ring of orgnanisers went around the entire living room. It also included a pile of things for the garbage (broken toys and other various items that really had no reason to be). It gave me a good idea of what I'm going to grab at a later time (when the kids are not around) for the garage sale. We discovered that yes indeed we really do have a full set of wooden blocks (although we are still missing one piece of the Thomas track).
Something great that helped get my oldest ready to do something like this was read Too Many Toys by David Shannon. It's a wonderful book that uses humour when dealing with this.

A Little Privacy Please!

My 2 year old follows me everywhere. This morning he got so enraged that I went out of the kitchen to the washroom (instead of the living room where he was going) that I heard running steps and a cry of "Mommy, I come too!" so fast I didn't know what hit me.
Before I had kids I didn't realise what a luxury privacy was. I don't think a morning goes by that my son doesn't call out to me in the shower, "Mama, you in there? You okay?" from behind the bathroom door.
Fortunately it's just my one child. My oldest knows what privacy is (and demands some of it himself - he also gets incensed when his little brother tries to follow him into the washroom.)

Empty Arms

The first time I found out I was pregnant my husband and I had just returned from a wonderful vacation in Newfoundland. We had been married just over a year. It was August 2003 and I was ecstatic. This was exactly what we had wanted. We told our families right away and they were so happy too. This baby would be the first grandchild on my side of the family and the second on my husband's. Our nephew was older so it would be the first baby in the family in quite a few years. Everyone was happy for us. As I approached the end of the first trimester we started to tell our friends. Congratulations emails started heading our way.
A couple of days later I went to the washroom at the end of my workday and I saw blood. Shock and alarm went racing through my body. I called my husband to come and get me and told the secretary that I had to go. The doctors and nurses at the hospital were very kind. There was really nothing they could do except order an ultrasound for the morning, tell me to rest and see what happened. I went home, and laid down on my left side and prayed. But I knew. I knew later that night that was it. The baby was gone. I canceled the ultrasound for the morning. I had passed too much tissue for it not to have been a miscarriage. I took the next week off work and cried. When I stopped crying, I just sat there numb.
That was the first of 3 (and probably 4) miscarriages I've experienced. I say probably 4 because the last one was not a confirmed pregnancy. The 3 definite ones all happened at 11 and half weeks. The second was the only where I had a D & C.
Every single one of these pregnancies was a real loss for me and my husband. These were all wanted babies. We've loved each one of them. We've run through the gamut of emotions that come with grief: sadness, anger, questioning, disbelief, discouragement...you name it, we've felt it. A very good friend of ours that sat with me during part of the first miscarriage told me a wonderful truth. Take the time to grieve this, it is a real loss. People usually don't know what to say in a situation like this. Some will say that it just wasn't meant to be or that there will be other babies. Some will brush it off as just something that happened. Many will tell you that it wasn't your fault. Some people will be extremely insensitive. But I also found that some people were really and truly empathetic. We have many older ladies at our church and I couldn't get over how many of them came to tell me about their miscarriage that happened 40 - 50 years ago. Some of these women were still very devastated by it. They really weren't allowed to talk about it and certainly never encouraged to grieve it, it just wasn't done.
I find it amazing that as common as miscarriage is, it is still a taboo topic. We don't talk about it. We don't know how common it is, until it happens to us.
People who haven't been there really don't understand it either. I remember a few weeks after my first miscarriage I had a friend over for lunch. She told me that she was expecting. And I'll tell you I just couldn't be happy for her at that time. I really just wanted her to leave. (I pushed through it of course and waited until she left to get visibly upset) When I tried to explain my reaction to another close friend of mine later, she said, well, you'll just have to get over it. That was not what I wanted to hear. I really felt anger and I needed to get it out of me. All very normal.
There were other times, later that unexpected grief resurfaced. The due date of these babies all got to me. As did the anniversary of the loss.
There are things that can be done to help anyone through grieve like this. What I found helpful was to write. I wrote letters to my babies. I wrote poetry. I journaled. But I write, that works for me. Some people paint. Some people work out. Everyone has an outlet, you just have to find out what yours is. I also had a wonderful friend who gave me a place of refuge while my husband was at work. She took me in her home and gave me a comfy spot on her couch. She pampered me with a bubble bath and cooked me lunch. She was a listening ear and a voice of wisdom. Her husband is an artist and he loaned me a recent painting of his to be my 'window' so I'd have something to gaze at.
Now I have been blessed with 2 beautiful boys so I can't begin to imagine what life would be like to continue to be pregnant and not have children. The pattern for me has been: miscarriage, baby, miscarriage, baby, miscarriage, (miscarriage). The irony I've thought about is that if either of my first 2 miscarriages had not occurred I would not have my boys and I could not imagine life without them. I also know how extremely fortunate I am. I do have friends who had desperately wanted babies and couldn't have them.
I believe very strongly that I will meet these other children of mine one day in heaven. I've found great comfort and excitement in that.

Are you keeping your kids safe?

So I apologise in advance if this turns into a mini-mom rant/rage - I fully intend to be kind and gentle and firm - but I'm really annoyed too so there may be an edge.
I was picking up my sons from daycare when I noticed that one my son's friends was getting into a car with his mom and there was no car seat for him. Not a booster, nothing. At first I gave her the benefit of the doubt, thinking maybe it wasn't their family car so she let it go this one time, but no. I've seen them since, same car, same lack of car seat.
I know I'm a little anal when it comes to my kids' safety, but shouldn't you be? They are the most precious thing in the world. It is my job to protect them.
So, I thought maybe I'm way out there with this. After all these kids are almost 5. But I don't think so. I went and checked out the current travel standards for Canada and all children are required by law to be in a car seat or car booster seat until they are 8 or 9 (depending on the province), 145 cm and weighing about 80 lbs. So I'm not out of line here. Sure car seats can be pricey, but aren't your kids worth the expense. Booster seats start at about $40. That's not a lot really.
So you're either with me, or you think I'm completely out to lunch here. After all when I was a kid wearing seatbelts wasn't even required by law (it was by my parents though). And I'm sure you can find some grandmotherly type that will tell you they just put the baby in a basket on the floor of a car and drove all over the place. Yep, that's true. But how many kids were injured or died because of that? Why do you think these laws were created?
We all want the best for our children. We want them to be safe and healthy and going by current safety standards is just another part of that. I know I won't let my kids ride in the front of the car ever (not reccommended until they are 12) - not even around the block. I know one woman who was going just a 'short distance' and didn't have a car seat for her infant, so she put her baby on her lap while riding in the front passenger seat. Unfortunately, tragedy struck, they had to stop suddenly and the baby flew out of the mother's arms, out the windshield and died. I hope I have your attention now. Yes, she will have to live with that error for the rest of her life, but she's gone on to speak to parents urging them not to make the mistake she did. Maybe you think that would never happen to me. I'm guessing she thought it would never happen to her either. No one plans an accident. I've been rear ended, so I know it can happen to any one, any time. We have to be prepared.
I'm including the current Canadian Government standards for car travel. They can be found here: http://www.tc.gc.ca/roadsafety/safedrivers/childsafety/car/index.htm
Maybe you know someone who needs to read them. Maybe you are living somewhere where the laws aren't so strict and you want to change that. I hope you find it helpful. I hope I've made you think.

Car Time - Stage 1: Safe Travel in a Rear-facing Infant Seat
TP 14337E
ISBN 0-662-39337-6
Cat. T46-29/1-2005E
Revised March 2006


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Babies have weak neck and back muscles that need extra support when traveling in a vehicle. A rear-facing infant seat will support your baby's head and neck in a sudden stop or a crash. Be sure you use a rear-facing infant seat that fits your baby's weight and height. Use it correctly in the rear-facing position, in the back seat, every time your baby rides in the car.
Rear-facing infant seats are available as infant- only seats, infant/child seats, or infant/child/ booster seats.




An infant-only seat is designed only for use as a rear-facing infant seat.
An infant/child seat or an infant/child/booster seat can be used as a rear-facing infant seat. Later, these seats can be used as forward-facing child seats when it is the right time to have the child ride facing the front of the vehicle. See Car Time – Stage 2 for more information about forward facing child seats.

Rear-facing infant seats have different upper weight limits. Check the label on the rear-facing infant seat for the weight and height that are allowed by the manufacturer.


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Don't be in a hurry to start using a forward-facing child seat. The longer you use a rear-facing infant-only seat, infant /child seat, or infant/child/booster seat that fits correctly, even past your baby's first birthday, the safer your baby will be in a crash. Be sure to follow the manufacturer's instructions for use and check the label for the weight and height that are allowed.


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Choosing a rear-facing infant seat for your baby
Weigh your baby.
Measure your baby's height or length.
Check the label to be sure the seat will fit your baby's weight and height.
A rear-facing infant-only seat is a good choice for a smaller baby, or a newborn.
An infant/child seat used in the rear-facing position is a good choice for a taller or heavier baby.
Make sure that the rear-facing seat fits well in the back seat of your vehicle.


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Securing your baby in a rear-facing infant seat
Read the car seat instructions and the vehicle owner's manual to learn how to install a rear facing infant seat in your vehicle.
Always put a rear-facing infant seat in the back seat of the vehicle.
Never put a rear-facing infant seat in the front passenger seat.
If your vehicle has side air bags, see the Transport Canada fact sheet on How to Read the instructions that came with your baby's car seat.



Install the harness straps using the slot positions that are at or slightly below your baby's shoulders.
Buckle your baby into the seat.
Make sure the harness straps are fastened tightly. They hold your baby in the seat.
“Tightly” means only one finger fits between the harness strap and your baby at the collarbone.

The chest clip should be positioned at the armpit level to hold the harness straps in place
Check where the top of your baby's head lies on the back of the seat.
If the top of your baby's head is less than 2.5 cm (1 inch) from the top of the seat, a bigger seat is needed.
If there is a sunshade or canopy attached to the handle of the infant-only seat, the sunshade must not be used in the car.
Install the rear-facing infant seat with the Universal Anchorage System (UAS) or with the seat belt.

Installing a rear-facing infant seat
Read the car seat instructions and the vehicle owner's manual to learn how to install a rear facing infant seat in your vehicle.
Always put a rear-facing infant seat in the back seat of the vehicle.
Never put a rear-facing infant seat in the front passenger seat.
If your vehicle has side air bags, see the Transport Canada fact sheet on How to Protect Children in Vehicles with Side Air Bags.
Put the handle of the infant-only seat in the position recommended by the manufacturer.

Installing with UAS
Car seats manufactured after September 1, 2002 have two UAS connectors that attach to the UAS anchor bars in newer vehicles.
Check the vehicle owner's manual for the seating positions that can be used with UAS.
You may need to thread the UAS webbing strap through the infant/child seat or the base of the infant-only seat.
Attach the two UAS connectors to the UAS anchor bars and tighten the strap.
The rear-facing infant seat should not move more than 2.5 cm (1 inch) from side to side or forward.



Items not provided by the car seat manufacturer such as liners, trays, or comfort straps may interfere with the safety of the seat. Check with the car seat manufacturer before using these products with the baby's car seat.


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Installing with a seat belt
Thread the seat belt webbing through the path as shown in the infant seat instructions.
Buckle the seat belt and make sure it is tight. The seat belt keeps your baby's seat in place in the vehicle.
The rear-facing infant seat should not move more than 2.5 cm (1 inch) from side to side or forward.


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With some vehicles, you will need to use a locking clip with the seat belt to hold a rear-facing infant seat securely in place. Read the vehicle instructions for installing children's car seats.

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Using the infant seat outside the vehicle

Some infant seats are also used to hold or carry a baby outside the vehicle. Make sure you keep the harness fastened correctly whenever your baby is in the seat.

Do not use the infant seat if your baby is bigger than the height or weight printed on the label.
When you use an infant seat outside the vehicle, the seat can tip over easily when the baby moves.
Place the infant seat on or close to the floor.
Make sure nothing will fall on your baby.
Never leave your baby unattended.

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The use of an infant car seat as a crib outside the vehicle has resulted in death when the infant became tangled in the straps and strangled. An infant car seat should never be used as a crib.


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When to replace a rear-facing infant seat

If there was a crash and the rear-facing infant seat was in the car at the time. You should do this even if your baby was not riding in the seat during the crash.
When the car seat has reached the expiry date.
Fill out and mail the registration card that comes with your child's car seat. If there is a recall, the company will be able to contact you.


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Car Time - Stage 2: Safe Travel in a Forward-facing Child Seat
TP 14338E
ISBN 0-662-39340-6
Cat. T46-29/2-2005
Revised March 2006


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A forward-facing child seat will spread the forces of a sudden stop or a crash over the strongest parts of your child's body. Use a forward-facing child seat that fits your child's weight and height.

When to use a forward-facing child seat

Before you make the change to a forward-facing child seat, ask these questions:


Is your child too heavy or too tall for your rear-facing infant seat? There may be another rear-facing seat that will fit your child.
Does your child still fit within the weight and height given on the label for your rear-facing infant/child seat? You may be able to continue using the rear-facing infant seat until your child outgrows it.

If you use a forward-facing child seat too soon, your child could be hurt during a sudden stop or a crash. Be sure to follow the manufacturer's instructions for use. See Car Time – Stage 1 for information on seats for rear-facing use.

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Choosing a forward-facing child seat
An infant/child seat or an infant/child/booster seat can be used as a rear-facing infant seat then later used as a forward-facing child seat. Check the instructions for the weight and height limits and how to convert from rear-facing use to forward-facing use.

See Car Time – Stage 1 for more information about rear-facing infant seats.

A child/booster seat can be used as a forward facing child seat then used as a booster seat later when the child reaches that stage. Check the instructions for the weight and height limits and how to use it as a child seat.

See Car Time –Stage 3 for more information about booster seats.

Before you choose a child seat:

Weigh your child.
Measure your child's height.
Check the label on the child seat to be sure the seat will fit your child's weight and height.
Make sure the child seat fits well in the back seat of your vehicle.


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Securing your child in a forward-facing child seat
Read the instructions for the forward-facing child seat to help you use it correctly.
Install the harness straps using the slot positions that are at or slightly above your child's shoulders.
Make sure the harness straps are fastened tightly to hold your child in the seat. “Tightly” means only one finger fits between the harness strap and your child at the chest.
The chest clip should be positioned at the armpit level to hold the harness straps in place


Items not provided by the car seat manufacturer such as liners, trays, or comfort straps may interfere with the safety of the seat. Check with the car seat manufacturer before using these products with the car seat.


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Installing a forward-facing child seat
Read the car seat instructions and the instructions in the vehicle owner's manual to learn how to install a forward-facing child seat.
Install a forward-facing child seat in the back seat of the vehicle. Children 12 and under need to ride in the back seat away from the front-seat air bags.
If your vehicle has side air bags, see the Transport Canada fact sheet on How to Protect Children in Vehicles with Side Air Bags.
Install a child seat using a tether strap and a seat belt or using a tether strap and the Universal Anchorage System (UAS).


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Installing with a seat belt
Thread the seat belt webbing through the child seat as shown in the instructions.
Buckle the seat belt and make sure it is tight. The seat belt keeps your child seat in place in the vehicle.

When you install the child seat, use your knee to push down on the child seat at the same time
you tighten the seat belt.
Attach the tether strap to hold the top of the child seat in place and tighten the strap.
The child seat should not move more than 2.5 cm (1 inch) from side to side or forward.

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With some vehicles, you will need to use a locking clip with the seat belt to install a forward-facing child seat securely in place. Read the vehicle instructions for installing car seats.


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Installing with UAS
Car seats manufactured after September 1, 2002 have two UAS connectors that attach to the UAS anchor bars in newer vehicles.
Check the vehicle owner's manual for the seating positions that can be used with UAS.
Attach the two UAS connectors to the UAS anchor bars and tighten the strap.
Attach the tether strap to hold the top of the child seat in place and tighten the strap.
The child seat should not move more than 2.5 cm (1 inch) from side to side or forward.


The tether strap
A top tether strap must be used on all forward-facing child seats.
The tether strap hook must be attached to a tether anchor.
You will need one tether anchor for each child seat used in the vehicle.
If your vehicle does not have a tether anchor, ask your vehicle dealer to install one.



The symbol for UAS marks the location of the anchor bars in the vehicle and the connectors on the car seat.


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When to replace a forward-facing child seat

If there was a crash and the child seat was in the car at the time. You should do this even if your child was not riding in the seat during the crash.
When it has reached the expiry date.
Fill out and mail the registration card that comes with your child's car seat. If there is a recall, the company will be able to contact you.

Car Time - Stage 3: Safe Travel in a Booster Seat
At Stage 3, your child should weighs at least 18 kg (40 pounds), and may be about 4 1/2 years old. Your child is now ready to use a booster seat. The booster seat will keep the seat belt in the correct place over your child's body. You must use the seat belt to hold the booster seat and child in place.
If you use a booster seat when your child is too small, your child could be hurt during a sudden stop or if your car is in a crash.
TP14339E
ISBN 0-662-30083-1
Cat. T46-29/1-2001E
Revised March 2006


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When to use a booster seat:

Only use a booster seat for children who weigh at least 18 kg (40 pounds).

Use the booster seat each time you go out in the car with your child.


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How to use a booster seat:

Choose a booster seat that fits your child and your vehicle.

Read the instructions for your vehicle and read the instructions that came with the booster seat. This will help you to place your child in the booster correctly. You also need to be sure you are using the correct seat belt system with the booster seat.

The back seat is the safest place for your child.

Always put the shoulder belt over the shoulder and across the chest. Never put the shoulder belt behind the child's back or under the arm. This could cause a serious injury if there is a crash.

Always put the lap belt low and snug across the hips. Never let the lap belt ride up over the child's stomach. This could cause a serious injury if there is a crash.

Buckle up an empty booster seat with the seat belt so it won't move around.
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When to replace a booster seat:

Replace the booster seat if your car is in a crash. You should do this even if your child was not riding in the booster seat during the crash.

When it reaches the expiry date.


Car Time - Stage 4: Safe Travel in a Seat Belt
In Stage 4, your child is over 36 kg (80 pounds), about 8 years of age, and has grown enough to use the seat belt.
Did you know that children have been hurt or killed in a crash because they were too small to use a seat belt? It is important that the seat belt fits correctly. If you find that your child is too small for a seat belt, use a booster seat or a forward-facing child seat that is right for your child's weight and height.
TP14340E
ISBN 0-662-30084-X
Cat. T46-29/2-2001E
Revised March 2006



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Keep this in mind:
The back seat is the safest place for your child.

Seat belts with lap and shoulder straps will hold both the upper and lower body in place. They provide the best protection for Stage 4 children riding in a vehicle.

Slouching causes the lap belt to ride up over the stomach. Children whose legs can bend over the edge of the seat when they are sitting up straight against the seat back are less likely to slouch.



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When to buckle up:

Always follow vehicle instructions for using the seat belt.

Check to be sure that children are not slouching in the seat.

Keep the lap belt low and snug across the hips. Never put the lap belt across the stomach. This could injure your child in a crash.

Put the shoulder belt over the shoulder and across the chest. Never put the shoulder belt behind the child's back or under the arm. This could injure your child in a crash.


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Seat belts for adults:

Seat belts help prevent deaths and they reduce the number of serious injuries in crashes. A seat belt helps to spread the force of a crash over the strongest areas of the body. Parents should set a good example for children by wearing their own seat belts correctly and using them all the time.

To protect people in a crash, seat belts must be worn with the lap belt low across the hips and the shoulder belt over the shoulder and across the chest.

When worn correctly, the lap belt spreads the force of a crash over the bones in the hips and the shoulder
belt spreads the force of the crash across the chest.


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How to use the lap belt:

Put the lap belt low across the hips and keep it snug.

Never put the lap belt across the stomach. This could cause serious injuries because there is no bone to absorb the force of the crash. In a crash, if you are not wearing a lap belt correctly, you could suffer a broken spinal cord or serious damage to vital organs inside your body.

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How to use the shoulder belt:

Put the shoulder belt over the shoulder and across the chest.

Never put the shoulder belt under the arm. If a crash occurs, a shoulder belt under the arm could injure your heart, lungs or other organs inside your body.

If you have a choice between a lap seat belt and a lap/shoulder belt, remember that the lap/shoulder belt will protect you better in a crash.
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Contact Us:
For questions about seat belts, please contact the manufacturer. For more information or to order more copies of this publication, contact:

Transport Canada at: 1-800-333-0371, by email: roadsafetywebmail@tc.gc.ca

Health Canada at: (613) 952-1014, by fax: (613) 941-4376 or by email: cps-spc@hc-sc.gc.ca

That New Baby

I was feeling awfully nostalgic today. There's a song on the country stations right now that has a line about the first time you hold him (meaning your newborn). Ahh, I just melt. I remember exactly what it felt like to hold my newborn babies skin to skin. And their skin was so soft and their shoulders so little. It's an absolute melt you moment.
An associated memory was the next step, starting nursing. I wasn't prepared for it really. Here I had just spent hours and hours in labour. I didn't remember the last time I had eaten (and anyways lost what I had eaten in the labouring process). I really just wanted to know that my babies were okay, have a shower and go to sleep. But no. That baby has worked hard too. That baby was now hungry and there was no umbilical cord feeding him anymore.
I remember with my first how the nurse told me to just let her know when my son was ready to nurse and she'd help us out. Great! How do I know when he's ready? I mean really, this was brand new to me. I'd already done something I'd never done before that day, it was called giving birth. Now I had to learn another skill. (Look out for hunger signs such as him smacking his lips, licking his lips, opening and closing his mouth - and really, they do want to try to eat within that first hour. I mean wouldn't you want a little something if you'd had to do all that hard work?)
I was a little more prepared for the fact that everything wasn't all over once I had my second baby. I knew this time that they (meaning the doctors and nurses) wanted a good nursing attempt within the hour. I just had to remember how to do it with a newborn who had no idea (just instinct) what he was doing.
It really is a learned skill. It can be awkward and frustrating for the both of you. Jill wrote some great stuff on how to breastfeed. I didn't want to get into that with this post, I really just wanted to live in memory land of my newborns. Those little shoulders, that soft skin, those perfect tiny faces...

The Wheel by Victoria Banks

You come into the world kickin and screamin
The clock starts ticking with the breath youre breathin
Tiny hands, tiny feet and all you do is eat and sleep
Then you blink your eyes and crawlin across the floor
Then you blink them again and youre runnin out the door
For a tire swing, a school bus, and a second hand Chevy
And you're kickin up dust
It happened so fast, just like that


Oh, the wheel keeps turnin and the flame keeps burnin
And the hunger in the heart and the spirit of a soul keeps yearnin
And the wheel keeps turnin


You fall for love on a prayer and a wing
And your heart gets broken and you feel that sting
Then you fall again, and it sure feels right
And a half a second later theyre throwin rice
Then youre back to work and the honeymoons done
Boy, time flies when youre havin fun
You buy a little house with a leaky roof
Then youre paintin that nursery baby blue
The first time you hold him it starts all over


Oh, the wheel keeps turnin and the flame keeps burnin
And the hunger in the heart and the spirit of a soul keeps yearnin
And the wheel keeps turnin


The sun comes up and the moon goes down
The rock in the sky spins round and round
Its one more day here on the ground as the stars roll by
You live and learn breakin bins, say a little prayer when the daylight ends
Wake in the mornin, do it all again, its a crazy ride


Oh, the wheel keeps turnin and the flame keeps burnin
And the hunger in the heart and the spirit of a soul keeps yearnin
And the wheel keeps turnin


You come into the world kickin and screamin
And the wheel keeps turnin

Great Links

Just thought those of you who are / are thinking of using cloth diapers might be interested in checking out the posts on Cloth Diapering Week over at Simple Mom . Tsh has lined up a great series of clear, concise posts on the basics of using cloth diapers. If you want more info, definitely check out the comments where lots of experienced mamas add their two or three cents. Including yours truly, of course.

Meghan at Simple Kids has compiled a great list of classic outdoor games with links to the rules. I don't think we're quite there yet - the boys still think the point of tag is to be "it" - but those of you with older kids might enjoy it.

A while ago, before(?) we started this blog, Eren wrote this insightful post about staying positive while parenting. I totally agree with her. Whenever I find that things are going downhill around here, you can almost bet it is really my attitude that is slipping. This post says pretty much exactly what I would want to say on this topic.

To Nap, or not To Nap

My two year old is just on the verge of giving up naps. Most days he could get through the day without a nap. Then he would go to sleep at around 7, and sleep all night. But the question is wether the rest of us could make it or not. My older boy is really attached to his two hours of quiet to build with lego and read books with mom. And I am really attached to having two hours to do a little housework without having to chase anyone off the counters or out of the front yard.

But then, if he does nap, he usually doesn't sleep until 8:30 or 9pm. This means I only have about an hour before I should go to bed. That means only enough time to clean the house and go to bed. No time to exercise or quilt or have tea with my husband or relax. Only time to get things in order for the next day, and then go to bed so I can wake up at 5:30 with my two year old again.

So many times, I find that parenting decisions are about balancing the needs of the entire family. In this case, I have to weigh my needs and the needs of my two boys. Is the peaceful time in the day worth my lack of restorative time at night, or can I find another way to give my older son some time alone while I amuse my younger son? Can I move nap time earlier on days when we really need it, and cut it out if we don't get home from an activity until after 1? Is the nap worth the disruption of spending up to 30 min. to get my son to sleep?

In cases like this, I tend to waffle for a little while. We do a few days with early naps, and see how that goes. Then a few days without naps, to see how tolerable it is. Then a few days where we discover my son is intolerable by 3:30, and he falls asleep and stays up late and we are all frustrated. In the end, I imagine we will find a new schedule that works for everyone, and life will move on.

I think this is part of mindful parenting. Rather than just letting the same frustrating event happen over and over, we need analyze the situation. As the kid manager, it is part of my job to set the schedule and tone for our day, and to find solutions when things stop working. So, what are some of your nap solutions?