Clever Mamas

Time to Say Goodbye

2011-12-04T15:52:00.001-08:00

Like all good things, Clever Mamas is coming to an end. When we first set out with this blog project, Jill and I were 2 friends, living apart from one another, each parenting 2 small boys. This seemed like a good way to support each other in our parenting ventures. Along they way we each had another baby (both girls) and picked up a third contributor (Anna), herself a parent to 2 small boys.
This past half year the blog has changed, kind of, for us. We all have experienced several life changes. I moved from a large city where I was running a home daycare, to a small town where I returned to my teaching job. Jill also returned to the teaching workforce in her own large city and has found herself expecting baby #4 (coming Spring 2012). Anna, went on her 2nd maternity leave with her own precious son. All three of us are quite frankly, tired. We had always maintained that this blog was to be non-pressure. And now all three of us find we just don't have the time to contribute to it the way we would like to. We have enjoyed the past 2 and a half years, but are ready to move on. We hope that you have enjoyed our little blogging parenting venture and that you will continue to glean information from it in the future (be it a play-do recipe, or, some great breastfeeding tips!).
We all continue to blog on our individual blogs from time to time.
Anna can be found at: Anna's Place.
Jill can be found at: Life and Times of Jill
and I (Kris) can be found at: Crafty Kris
Thank you all for your support!

1st, 2nd, 3rd

2011-11-26T05:22:00.001-08:00

I've shared before how I am the mother of three. My eldest is now 7, my middle child is 4 and my youngest will be 2 in the New Year. I was thinking this week how much we have changed as parents from child 1 to child 2 to child 3. With Child 1 everything was new and exciting and sometimes nerve racking. All stages were fascinating and we couldn't wait to move on to the next thing and note it down in the baby book. Moments were shared very proudly with grandparents, great-grandparents and pretty much anyone who would listen.
Now that we are on Child 3 and knowing that she is our last I am finding we are holding on to every moment. Not wanting her to get to the next stage just yet. For example - my oldest was in a toddler bed at about 18 months. It was exciting and he loved it. Our youngest is currently 22 months and still in her crib. I'm thinking probably around Christmas we'll convert her into the toddler bed, but there's no rush really.
We weren't nearly as relaxed with our first as we are now. With our oldest there were lots of calls and questions to other parents and my own parents and our doctor asking, "Is he okay?", "Is that normal?", "Should that be happening?". With our second and even more so with our third we would take note of their changes in behavior and think, "Oh that, you are doing that now". And with those more frustrating stages of parenting knowing that there was an end in sight and it would probably take X amount of time to see it through.
It's so funny when I think back to the excited, nervous new parents we were taking our first home from the hospital in disbelief that they actually let us take him home to now when we feel like we know what we are doing. We're now the people friends call to ask advice and ideas and spill their parenting questions to. Somewhere along the way, we found our way and have become the so-called 'experts' - funny what experience does to you :)

Christmas Shopping Help! - Empire Theatres

2011-11-23T03:41:00.001-08:00

My own personal deadline is quickly approaching. You see I hate being out in crowded malls (some thrive on it, I know) so I try my best to get all my Christmas shopping done by the end of November. I start planning early and give it a good go. It still never fails, there is always someone on my list who I just can't think of anything really great and special for. I'm sure you have those people too. Maybe it's your Dad who really has everything and when asked what he wants says, "I'm sure whatever you get will be fine." We have a 19 year old nephew who was much easier to shop for as a little guy who loved Legos, but now you just never know. Even his mom doesn't know. It's a mystery to all of us. That's when I find gift cards come in handy. If you don't know exactly what they would like, but have a rough idea about what they enjoy, why not get a gift card.
In the past we have found a movie gift card works great. Who doesn't love to go to the movies? That's why I'm pleased that Empire Theatres has brought back their Holiday Gift Pack this year. In the past we have bought Empire Theatres gift cards for friends, teachers, co-worker gift exchanges and yes, our hard to buy for nephew. We've even put them on our own wish list because, let's face it, date night is a rare and precious commodity as parents of three small children! Here's what you need to know about how their gift card program works:

When you purchase $30 in Empire Theatres’ Gift Cards you will receive $30 in Empire Theatres Coupons. For example:
o If you purchase 3 cards for $10 each you qualify;
o If you purchase $60 you would receive 2 bundles.

The coupon bundle includes:
o BOGO Admission (January 9 to January 31, 2012)
o $2.00 off any Combo - excluding Kid’s Pack (January 9 to January 31, 2012)
o $9.99 (Admission, Regular Drink, Small Popcorn) (February 1st to February 29th, 2012)
o Buy a Large Popcorn, get a Large Drink Free (March 1st to March 31st, 2012)
o $6.99 General Admission (March 1st to March 31st, 2012)
o Get $4.00 off a General Admission Ticket (April 1st to April 30th, 2012)

It's up to you what you want to do with the coupon bundle. You can give it as a bonus gift for your friends and relatives, or, keep it for yourself to enjoy.

For another dollar you can also purchase an Empire Theatres gift tin with proceeds going towards the Kid's Help Phone.

Gift Card packs are availble now until December 18th online and December 24th in theatres. You can purchase them online (empiretheatres.com/gift) or at the theatres themselves. I know I've bought them at a special kiosk in the mall too.

I wish you well in your Christmas shopping adventures this year, hopefully this helps you out with that gift for that person (or persons) that are hard to shop for.

Disclosure – I am participating in the Empire Theatre Gift Card Holiday Campaign by Mom Central Canada. I received compensation for my participation in this campaign. The opinions on this blog are my own.

Could this happen to you? - An Update!

2011-11-04T16:48:00.000-07:00

A few months ago I first posted the sad, but true story of an autistic daughter in BC who was forcibly removed from the care of her loving, devoted father (original post here). 4 months have passed and little Ayn has still not been returned to her father, Derek. I have continued to follow the daily trials that Derek has been going through in attempting to have his daughter returned from the care of the Ministry of Children and Family Development on a Facebook page that has been set up, called "Help Bring little Autistic girl back to her Daddy" Today, Derek posted a media release on that site. It is with great pleasure that I share this with you all.

"Nov 4 2011

It has now been over four and a half months since I have seen my daughter. I have given my all for her, from the first moment I laid my eyes on her in the delivery room I knew my heart was hers. I would never harm her, nor am I accused of such, I have done nothing except dedicate my life to try to nuture and understand her. She has been ripped from her family for no other reason then the misperception that she was an unmanageable deteriorating child. Nothing could be further from the truth, Ayn is a wonderful caring child. She is autistic yes and as such often has a hard time explaining what she wants; she has an astute understanding of body language and a very strong will. Though verbal and possessing a large vocabulary Ayn still struggles to share with others her desires, fears, and thoughts. She continues to ask for me, she continues to assert that I am coming... She knows I would not abandon her. Yet the Ministry of Children and Family Development continues to hold her from me. On Oct 18 the government sought court approval for temporary custody for 90 days, again I refused to consent to this, and since this is my continued stance an effort will be made to determine if trial is necessary or whether mutual consent can be achieved between the parties. This step is called the Case Conference and has been scheduled over 90 days away.... on Jan 23rd. If this is the case why ask for 90 days? Why even pretend to ask? My reasons for refusal will not be heard. I continue to wait for hearing after hearing, never being given the opportunity to even speak... at the conclusion of each simply another is scheduled, in effect you go to the back of the line struggling to merge schedules to obtain the next soonest date.
Ayn has escaped from the care of the Ministry twice now in four months, the second time naked, drugged, wet and wandering as far as the "main street", police were called, Ayn discovered and returned. I will be told nothing or rather I will be told whatever the MCFD chooses to tell me. "It is under investigation" I hear, but the first time she escaped was months ago surely something is known by now? She was being watched and drugged while under the care of the MCFD by a 15 year old fellow foster child.... "still under investigation". Why was the window not locked in the bathroom where she was bathing unattended?... "under investigation". The MCFD is supposed to be trained to identify emotional abuse is it not? How can they ignore it when they are the source. Ayn was in no more danger here than her disability engendered, all I am asking for is her to be returned to me immediately. If they would like to do an investigation by all means, but we are over 4 months in now and as of yet no-one has been asked how Ayn was in the Home, the very place she is being kept from. She has been returned to the school where the "deterioration" was observed. She has been returned to their care from where she has twice escaped. They have offered me unsupervised access effective immediately... yet will not return her to me. This is a nightmarish power struggle with an institution whose named function is family development. Whose guiding principles are: "a family is the preferred environment for the care and upbringing of children and the responsibility for the protection of children rests primarily with the parents" (CFCSA 2b) and "decisions relating to children should be made and implemented in a timely manner" (CFCSA 2g).
My life has been dedicated to my children, I continue to care for my sons, I do so happily and have never once complained about the tribulations I face raising 2 severely autistic kids. They are both happy and thriving children and there is nothing to suggest otherwise... I am angry, I am in pain, I suffer... and do you know what it doesn't matter... Ayn is all that matters. She does not deserve this, she is just as much a citizen as: the social workers involved, the different judges overseeing this, You or I. Yet she is being treated as chattel, her sadness towards my absence used against me, my advocacy for her to get proper services used against me, all the while she sits in a basement wondering where her family went, not knowing why this happened. Did she do something wrong? Do we not want her anymore? She has no ability to comprehend the ministry's legal wranglings, all she knows is she has been forcefully removed from those whom she loved and had spent every day of her life... Does it make it any better that she has been placed with an assortment of caregivers who may be very nice people? Having good people do the wrong thing is not a benefit. They are kept in the dark, as is the public.... as am I. And now to wait past her Dec 14th birthday, past Christmas... and into the New Year.... for a "case conference" where even there I will not get to argue for her return but will receive a date where that could happen.... a date which could in all likelyhood be a year or more later..... Is this why we created such an institution? Please Help Ayn to come home, she is just as much a person as you or I and should not be treated in such a manner. We love her so dearly... I will never relent... this will have been all for nothing; the only net result being a little disabled girl who will never know why or when she could be snatched again."

To find out how you can support Derek and Ayn please join this Facebook site: https://www.facebook.com/groups/justiceforayn/
You can also sign a petition in support of her release: http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/bring-ayn-van-dyk-home/
And support this family through your Tweets by following: @Justice4Ayn

The Soup Trick

2011-10-22T10:24:00.000-07:00

Here's one of those "Mom Tricks" that will leave you thinking, "Why didn't I think of that?" (Of maybe you already did and I'm the one slow on the draw!) Toddler Cup o' soup. My daughter loves soup. Absolutely. But she's at that age of wanting to do it herself when it comes to feeding, and let's face it, a toddler with a bowl of soup is a mess waiting to happen. So comes my brilliant idea of using the sippy cup for her own variation of cup o' soup. Works like a charm!

Seventh Generation - Second Wave - Hestia House

2011-10-21T17:59:00.000-07:00

I had a fantastic opportunity this week to visit a place I have never been to before. Hestia House in Saint John, NB, Canada is an unassuming place. I've driven by it many times and never knew it was there. I knew of it's existence, but not the location. The location is purposefully hidden. Hestia House is a safe place, a shelter and support for women and children in crisis. This year marks 30 years of Hestia House. It's a bittersweet marker. I'm glad it's there, but I'm saddened that it is needed.
The purpose of Hestia house is to provide safe housing for women and children who need to leave an abusive home environment. They are looking for a way out and looking to plan for a better future. It accommodates 24 women and children, complete with a playroom and a secure backyard. The home is staffed around the clock. They provide counseling, referrals to appropriate agencies and support groups for emotional, medical, legal, employment and housing needs. There is a 24 hour hotline as well. Though it mostly serves women in the Saint John area, any woman is welcome there who needs the support.
As I learned more about what Hestia House does, I was really impressed with a partnership program that they have. The Animal Rescue League of Saint John offers a temporary home for pets of the women who turn to Hestia House. It is just one more way to encourage women to leave an abusive situation. As you can well imagine, it takes a lot of courage for these women to leave their situations and turn to a place like Hestia House for help. It's not an easy decision to make and often they leave with just the clothes on their back. That's why Hestia House welcomes donations of all sorts. People can help out with monetary gifts, gift cards, or practical items such as toiletries, clothing and toys. During my visit to Hestia House I was able to donate a box of diapers for them to use whenever they are needed in the future.The diapers are part of Seventh Generation's Second Wave Diaper Donation Program. During this past month, many Mom bloggers around the country were approached by Seventh Generation and Mom Central Canada to take part in this campaign. Their aim was aiming to reach their goal of giving away up to 240,000 diapers to 40 shelters in Nova Scotia, Quebec, Ontario, Alberta and British Columbia. Additionally, they asked Mom bloggers to donate diapers to a charity of their choice. Hestia House was the organization that jumped out to me as a place that needed to be blessed in this way. And it was a very moving experience for me. I can only imagine the stories that lie in those walls.
There are ways that you can be involved in this great act of love yourself. You can "Buy One Give One" - Seventh Generation Diapers to an organization you know could use them. To learn more about Seventh Generation and the shelters that they have supported this fall check out http://ca.seventhgeneration.com/community_ca.
To learn more about Hestia House, visit http://www.hestiahouse.ca/index.html.
If you or someone you know is living in distress, please call (506)-634-7570.
To make a donation to Hestia House contact:Hestia House Inc.P.O. Box 2208057 Landsdowne AveSaint John, NBE2K 4T7
Disclosure – I am participating in the Seventh Generation program by Mom Central Canada. I received compensation as a thank you for my participation. The opinions on this blog are my own.

Do Something Little, Help Something Big

2011-10-16T18:57:00.000-07:00

I have a mom admission to make. I turn the radio down when the news comes on and my kids are with me in the car. It's not to pretend these things don't happen, it's just to filter them from it for a while. I don't want them to become jaded, where the headlines that should shock and horrify just become part of their every day life. And that really is what has happened to us. The headlines roll off our backs, and set into the background while we get on with our day. We shrug things off and think, well what can we possibly do about it? Exactly, what can we do?

Maybe it isn't something big, maybe it's something little. There is so much negativity in our world that it seems incurable. So why not start small?

Remember that old commercial, if I tell 10 friends, and they tell 10 friends and so on and so on. Well, that's how I'm thinking these days. If I show some kindness to our world and teach my kids to do the same, how will that impact their lives? How can that little ripple effect our world?

We have a couple of story books that show that idea off to our kids quite well, the first is The Grumpy Morning by Pamela Duncan Edwards and the second is Have You Filled Your Bucket Today? by Carol McCloud .

I think they are great starters to get your kids thinking about how what we do and how our attitudes can have an effect not just on themselves but on others.

The other way I can teach my kids this concept is by living it out myself. That's why I was excited to be asked to join the Energizer Blog tour "Do Something Little, Help Something Big". They are pledging to donate $100 000 to Evergreen to make cities more liveable. For each person that visits their site and makes a pledge of what they will do to help this world out in any sort of act of kindness, they will donate a dollar. As I write this the pledge counter stands at 35 808 - so there is a ways to go yet. I'd love to see them max out.

For my part, I am pledging 5 things. 5 simple acts of Kindness.

1. Donate what I'm not using - clothing, outgrown toys, books on pregnancy/babies - all of that can go to someone who currently needs it.

2. Turn out the lights when we aren't in that room - my 4 year old has really picked up on this one and has become the 'light police' in our house

3. Hold open more doors - you know what it's like when you are pushing a stroller around and the person in front of you lets the door shut just as you are getting there - so frustrating! I'm trying to be more aware of who is around me when I'm out and about so I can help them out.

4. Smile and manners towards service people. I honestly would hate to have their job because people can be so rude to store clerks, serving staff and cashiers. I'm trying to put myself in their shoes, and remember that they are people doing their job. A kind word and a smile can really make their day and their shift a little bit easier.

5. Take charge of our recycling. We don't have curbside pickup where we currently live so I'm making a point to drive it in to a recycling depot when I go to work.

That's it. 5 little things that can make a difference. What 5 things do you think you can do too?

To take part in Energizer and Evergreen's initiative visit http://nowthatspositivenergy.ca/

Disclosure – I am participating in the Energizer Canada & Evergreen “DoSomething Little, Help Something Big” program by Mom Central Canada on behalfof Energizer Canada & Evergreen. I received compensation as a thank you formy participation. The opinions on this blog are my own.

Hockey Mom

2011-10-14T14:22:00.000-07:00

It's that time of year again! My son's first practice is tomorrow and it's an early one (of course). This is year 3 of hockey season for our family and the last one with just one player on the ice. Our 2nd son wants to play next year when he's 5 (they don't start them earlier than that where we live). We are starting this season a little bit differently than before. My husband happens to be out of town this week, meaning I'm the one to make sure he has all of his equipment ready and sized properly. Thank goodness only the gloves need upsizing, they are still okay for tomorrow's practice, but we'll be hitting the sporting goods store shortly after that.
One thing I quickly realized is that the new stick needs to be sized and taped. In my head I was thinking, under the chin if he's on his skates, at his nose if he's not wearing them. But then I thought, well, is it if the blade is down? or, up on the toe? Thank goodness for Google. It is up on the toe. And yes, that was me in the carport with a hacksaw cutting the stick down.
Next on my list was taping the stick. Another hockey parent job my husband has always done. And again, thank you Google! I found a very helpful site complete with a video demo of what to do and what all the differences in taping a stick meant for the player.
I found the stick length guide at HockeyReviewHQ.com http://www.hockeyreviewhq.com/hockey-resources/hockey-stick-length-guide/
The How to Tape a Hockey Stick videos were at HowtoHockey.com http://howtohockey.com/how-to-tape-a-hockey-stick
Both sites look great. They are clear in their pictures and directions. I'm sure they have many more resources in there.
I've also realized that this is the first year that our son doesn't need help with his equipment (with the possible exception of making sure his skates are tight enough) - he can do it all himself now. So fantastic when I think on the 5 year old he was a couple of seasons ago who wobbled out onto the ice.
One more place I want to direct all of you hockey moms too (if you haven't yet found it) is Hockey Mom in Canada (http://hockeymomincanada.net/). That's a great online community of Moms just like you. I'm part of their Facebook community as well. They often have good articles, blog posts and discussions on the go. It's a great way to connect with other hockey moms and issues around the sport.
I hope you all have a great season! See you on the ice :)

2nd Time's a Charm! Seveth Generation Giveaway Winner!

2011-09-20T06:53:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to Andrea at Mama in the City for winning our Seventh Generation Giveaway!

Contest Re-Opened!

2011-09-18T14:31:00.001-07:00

Unfortunately, our winner of the Seventh Generation Giveaway has also won on another blog site. So we are re-opening the contest for a couple more days. I urge you to make a comment at the original post of how your family goes green!The original post is found here!

Seventh Generation Giveaway - winner!

2011-09-17T11:50:00.000-07:00

Out Seventh Generation Giveaway is now closed - congratulations to our winner RBM - you will be receiving an email notice shortly from us and Mom Central!

Seventh Generation - A Giveaway!

2011-09-12T16:39:00.000-07:00

We have recently moved from the city to the country, which has been great. It's fantastic for kids, lots of open space, it's quiet, it's relaxing, it's great. One thing that has stuck out for me though that I haven't quite been able to get over yet is that there is no curbside recycling here. In fact, the neighboring city doesn't have it either. Really! I know! It doesn't stop our family from recycling though. We still clean and collect it all and bring it into town every two weeks, depositing it at the recycling station. It's just one way that we are trying to help the environment. I know it's just a little thing, but the little things can add up. The way I see it is that kids learn best by watching their parents. They too know how to recycle now. They are my designated sorters at the recycling centre. They especially love the change in their pockets after we hit the bottle depot :) A little incentive to help the earth.
Because it truly is the little things that matter, I was pleased when Mom Central asked if I would like to try the Seventh Generation products. Seventh Generation's goal is to make products that are environmentally friendly, even diapers. Sounds good doesn't it? You can join the 7th Generation as well! As a Nation member, you’ll have access to coupons, special offers and great tips for green and healthy living. Check out http://ca.seventhgeneration.com/community_ca
We would love to share some of Seventh Generation's products with you too. Simply tell us what your family is doing to become a 'green family'. One Clever Mamas reader will win a gift from Seventh Generation of a 100% organic cotton Seventh Gen Eco lunch bag as well as coupons for a FREE package of Seventh Generation Free & Clear Diapers, Free & Clear Baby Wipes and dish washing products!
Contest is open to Canadian residents and runs until September 16th.

Disclosure – I am participating in the Seventh Generation program by Mom Central Canada. I received compensation as a thank you for my participation. The opinions on this blog are my own.

My Daughter's first crush

2011-09-09T12:40:00.000-07:00

It's official, my daughter has her first full on first crush. She's 19 months old. Her crush? Elmo. Yep, Sesame Street nailed it when targeting the toddler crowd. She goes absolutely nutty when she sees him anywhere! And I mean anywhere. If she gets even a glimpse of that furry red face, her own face breaks into a wide smile and she shouts, "Elmo!" with squealing delight. The problem? We have one Sesame Street DVD. That's it. And we don't have cable. We don't want it. We're not getting it. First thing in the morning my daughter asks for Elmo. Yep, even before her sippy cup of milk. If we go out, when we come home, she asks for Elmo. The Elmo disk finishes and she says, "mo Elmo" (more Elmo). Because I'm so completely tired of this DVD, I decided to go to the Sesame Street website with her. Big mistake. Now, when she looks at the computer, she points and says, "Elmo". My husband has also played Elmo for her on his iPhone on YouTube. To answer all you supermoms who say, "just say no" and "why are you letting your 19 month old watch TV", really...I don't mind my kids watching a little TV. That's a whole other blog post anyway. And we do say no to her about it. You should see her super style fits when we do say no. They are quite amusing. She's completely heartbroken about it.It's curious to me that my boys never went through big loving Elmo stage. They liked him, but it wasn't a big deal like it is with her. The last kid I saw with an Elmo crush was my friend Jennifer's little girl (now 9). She was exactly like this when she was a toddler. Which makes me wonder. Is Elmo the first 'perfect boyfriend' crush for little girls?

Congratulations!

2011-09-02T15:11:00.001-07:00

Congratulations to Clever Mama Anna and her husband Andrew as they welcomed their second son to the world this week!

Siblings and new babies

2011-08-25T10:58:00.000-07:00

I am 38 weeks today and I am scheduled to have this baby by C-section next Tuesday morning. It's a bit odd to know this time around when the baby is coming, but at the same time, sort of nice to be able to plan and not have this big unknown event hanging over me waiting to go off like a time bomb. I saw my Dr. yesterday and this baby still has not dropped, she said its likely this baby would not be born naturally either (my first labour failed to progress likely because my son's head couldn't/wouldn't drop down).
As we live in a small town, our Hospital won't do VBAC's and if I had wanted to go that route, would have to have our baby in North Vancouver (an hour away), meaning all my prenatal appointments would have had to be there as well, meaning more time off work etc. etc. I did consider a Midwife as we have 1 in Squamish, but when I called her at 9 weeks pregnant she was already full for all of September (My due date was the 8th). She would have had to deliver the baby in North Van as well, but at least all of my appointments could have been closer to home. We are getting 2 more midwives, but they won't be practicing until October. Squamish is having a bit of a baby boom, for example my own Dr. had 10 babies due./born in August alone.

Anyways I guess I just provided all this back ground info on why I am not going for a VBAC, as people usually assume you should at least try. I am a little sad about not at least having trial labour, but based on the above I think this is the right choice for us.

Things that are occupying my thoughts this week are mostly about my first son, who is VERY excited about the baby. He now sleeps with his doll instead of his 2 puppies and wakes up every morning asking about his baby brother. We don't actually know the sex of the baby, but his friend Caleb has a baby brother so I think he just goes with that. At 2 (26 months) I am not sure he even gets the boy/girl thing (the concept in general), we remind him it may be a sister and that we have to wait and see.

Things we have done in preparing out first son for the new baby:

6 weeks ago we moved him into his room full time (he was co sleeping) into his own twin bed (I will blog about this process some other time).

Read stories about new babies. Mostly ones from the library; not just books about bringing a new baby home, but about babies in general. I did buy him the New Baby Little Critter book, which has a little sister, I try to keep it gender neutral and just say "baby".

A doll- I bought him one at Christmas when we were first planning this baby and it is just a cabbage patch doll that actually ended up in the closet for a long time, but now we change it's diaper and swaddle it together.

Remind him about the routine for the day the baby is born: he will go to Nana's house, Mummy will go to the hospital and the Dr. will take the baby out from my tummy, and then Nana will bring him to hold the baby (he is very excited to hold the baby). Side note: We have been using this routine trick in other parts of his life as well, such as bed time or leaving somewhere, talking about 3 things that will happen so that he know what is coming. For example," we will read a story, then sing some songs, say our prayers, and then Mummy will leave the room for you to sleep", we remind him during the routine this is what we are doing and we find that it works really well in avoiding melt downs.

I have also stocked up on little gifts for him so that when the baby gets gifts, he doesn't feel left out.

I know that Kris and Jill have blogged on this topic ages ago, but I can't find their posts (will look harder later), but I thought I would share my thoughts and see if anyone else has any tips to add.

My Love/Hate Relationship with Lego

2011-08-24T07:10:00.000-07:00

My boys are right into Lego right now. I think it is a fantastic toy most of the time. It's creative, it's constructive, it's brilliant in its simplicity. It also has a lot of small pieces. Small pieces that hurt when you step in them. Small pieces that no matter much you try to contain them to just one part of the house migrate to pretty much everywhere.
We've tried various ways of organizing the Lego. In our last place our boys shared a room. We bought one of those Ikea 9 drawer sets to store their Lego in. That worked pretty well. The Lego for the most part was sorted by colour, so the task of looking for the pieces that were needed went pretty well. In the place that we've just moved into our boys have their own rooms; therefore, the Lego has been split into 2 making it a lot more mixed up. I don't know about you, but I go buggy eyed helping my kids build things looking for just that one specific piece needed.
The other thing about our Lego is that my kids were gifted a huge amount of it (mixed with some Mega Bloks sets) from our nephew who is now grown. I thought that was fantastic. I thought that would be all the Lego they ever needed. Apparently, I was wrong. Lego has gotten more complicated than that. When I was a kid my brother and I had a box of Lego to share from which we built whatever we thought of. Now, most Lego is sold in sets. So there are specific things that they want to build, for which you need specific pieces that you can only get in these sets. So all of their spending money and saving money has been going towards buying Lego sets. And the Lego sets are great and neat and cool and all that. Then they get destroyed and mixed up and you just know that the day is coming when one of them says, "Mom, I want to build the fire truck, or, the Police Station" and then you find yourself digging through piles of mixed up Lego looking for that one piece that you can't find, never mind the instruction booklet for it. I have solved the second problem. Lego has very kindly posted instructions of all their building sets on their website, as long as I remember to download them to my laptop, we're good to go. (you can find that handy tool here). My boys also figured out that their cousin's Lego is made up of sets. So one bored evening I set out searching for the sets. (I know I'm a glutton for punishment) and surprised myself by finding a few of them. Some were Mega Bloks sets (Mega Bloks is a Canadian version of Lego that costs a little bit less) and Mega Bloks also has building instructions on their website (Here).
The other part of having Lego is where to store all the creations without them becoming destroyed. Because you know with kids all their creations are extremely important to them. And toddler little sisters just don't understand that concept really.
As I get all this off my chest it's really just part of the preparation for what lies ahead. I've been promising my oldest that we would have a Lego day once I was finished setting up our new home and before he goes back to school. I'm about 1 day away from that (maybe 2), so wish me well that I don't go crazy, digging through all of that Lego!

Letter to the Editor - a guest post/re-post/response post

2011-08-11T18:56:00.000-07:00

Last month, I joined in with the #BlogforAyn bloghop, telling the tale of the 9 year old autistic girl who has been removed from her home in BC, seemingly for no reason other than being an autistic child being raised by a single dad. The case workers stated that raising three children with two being autistic is a heavy load for a single parent, and that removing his daughter would lighten his load. One of our readers made the statement, there must be more to the story than that. That's exactly where I was when I first heard the tale. Like a lot of people who work with children I've (unfortunately) seen a lot. When you start to see repeating patterns of hurt, mistreated and abused children you tend to get cynical. And I'm sure that's where a lot of CPS worker are at. They see the worst of the worst. They work in a flawed system where there can be errors that lead to tragedy if they don't have enough information to go on to protect our kids. It can also happen in reverse, where a family can be broken up without a lot of recourse. Since I first heard about Derek Hoare's story with his daughter Ayn, I started to read about more families who have been torn apart unnecessarily. It is now 55 days since Ayn was removed from her home. Her father has yet to have access to her. Meetings have been cancelled at the last minute, frustrating this father who just wants his little girl back home where she belongs.
I'm fortunate that a good friend of mine (who initially made me aware of this case) has met Derek. She was touched by his story and has made it her mission to find out how this happened and what can be done to help this family. She has given me permission to quote her here on Clever Mamas. In her own words: "I have a copy of the hospital records, and I have met Derek, been in his home, and seen how he and his ex interact with their children. He is totally above the board, and doing a much better job than I think I could do."
My friend is a mother herself of two little ones. She is a qualified teacher who oversees homeschooling families in her area. She is a well educated, caring individual. I know for me, hearing a story in the news can cause a lot of questions and disbelief. Knowing someone whose opinion I trust completely being involved in the story in question sways my opinion of what is going on here.
My dear friend wrote a blog post that was originally published last month in her sister's parenting blog "I'm a Real Life Mom - Perfecting Imperfection". With her permission, I am re-posting it here. She captures better than anyone else I know the reality of Ayn's situation.

July 14, 2011

It’s the 29th day of torture. And she’s only 9. Is she in North Korea, Rwanda or Nazi Germany? No. She is in Abbotsford, British Columbia, Canada. Has she been kidnapped? No. She was “legally” apprehended by the Minisry of Children and Family Development. Imagine if you will:

School is almost over. She is tired. The lights, the smells, the flashes of color, the noise. It is all overwhelming to a child with autism. She is looking forward to going home to her Daddy. She knows he will hold her and help her recover from her day. She knows what to expect at home. There is routine, boundaries, safety.

Strangers suddenly appear before her. They are saying lots of things. She doesn’t understand them. They are touching her. She hates being touched. They tell her to follow them. She doesn’t want to. She doesn’t know them. They pull on her arm. She fights. She cannot understand what is happening. There are 4 strangers. And two of the people from school that usually help her. They force her into an unfamiliar vehicle. She starts to cry for her Daddy. She doesn’t stop.

They have her by both arms, it hurts. They drag her into a hospital room. It is cold, bright. The smells are strange and overwhelming. The lights overhead hum incessantly. She is still crying, and tired. She lays down on the bed, but the sheets smell funny, and they’re scratchy. Someone comes in. She wants out. She wants her Daddy. So she kicks and bites and screams. Rough hands hold her down. She feels a sudden sharp pain in her arm. She feels strange suddenly. The lights spin. Her head feels funny. Her tummy hurts. She is weak. They lay her down, but she cannot sleep. She is too sad.

Days pass. People come and go. Each time she cries and screams and fights to be with her Daddy. They keep touching her, poking and probing. She hates it so she fights. Over and over, the stabbing pain in her arm and then the funny feelings. She is lonely. The food tastes yucky. They say they need her blood. But she sees the needle and knows the pain, so she fights each time they try. In this she succeeds; they don’t get her blood from her. They don’t give her her favourite things. She misses her brothers, her clothes, her toys, her room, her special blankie and teddy. She cannot sleep without them. The constant noises, the voices, the beeping. It makes her scream. She asks for Daddy. No one will tell her where he is. She’s cold at night. The blankets feel funny. Why are they doing this to her? Her name is Ayn Van Dyk.

Why indeed? The reason her father, Derek Hoare, has been given is that her behaviours are too severe, that he must be overwhelmed, that he needs to have his load “lightened.” This story is very close to what an innocent little girl is experiencing. Much of it has been taken from hospital discharge papers her father was given. In those records, they state unequivocally that there is absolutely no evidence of any neglect or abuse. In the records it states that she is being given 2 dangerous drugs. Drugs that require a family history before being given. Drugs with severe side effects. The records state concern that she is being given double the maximum recommended dose. Her parents are adamantly opposed to her being medicated.

Can this be happening in my country? Didn’t we fight a war and sacrifice millions of lives to stop tyranny like this? How does the MCFD suddenly have Gestapo-like power? They are performing experiments on a child who functioned normally in the home. At school, yes, she had great difficulty. But for a child with autism, school is a very overwhelmingly difficult place to try to cope. Ayn is a bright little girl. At school she was working 2 years above her grade level. Surely she herself knows that what is happening to her is wrong.

Evil prevails when good people do nothing. I would challenge you, that as a public figure, if you stand by while this happens, you are condoning it. There must be investigations into this at local, provincial, national and international levels.

This cannot be swept under the carpet. The supporters of Ayn Van Dyk and her family will not stop fighting until policy changes are made and disciplinary action is taken against those who have been responsible for this.
In defense of Ayn,

Sherilyn Klassen

You can help make a difference in this case. Please visit http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/bring-ayn-van-dyk-home/ and sign the petition there to bring this child home.

You can also visit the Facebook page for more updated information and ways to help out. https://www.facebook.com/groups/152278868178942?ap=1#!/groups/152278868178942?ap=1 and http://apps.facebook.com/fundrazr/activity/7b63658d1ed44042b6c67b5a4119adcf
to donate towards the cause.

You can also repost these links, tweet and facebook this blog and spread the word yourselves.

The Long Car Trip

2011-08-05T18:26:00.000-07:00

We've just moved. Not from one house in town to another. But one house in one town to another house in another town, 2 provinces away. That meant 2 full days of driving...with 3 kids. It's a great time of year to do this sort of thing. It's summer, the weather is good for driving. (The last time we moved like this, it was December and there were snowstorms to pass through). But still, it's two days of driving with kids. Kids who don't like to be cooped up. Kid who to quote my mother, "run around like crazy chickens" when they are released for a break from it all. (Yes, God bless my mother who came along to help us out!)

There was nothing that this car trip didn't have, including one bout of car sickness, a few choruses of, "Stop it!", followed by the ever so popular, "Are we there yet?" sentiment. So here are my tips for helping your kids and yourself maintain some sanity when you must be locked in a small moving vehicle for hours upon end.

First, prepare for car sickness. Seriously, even if your child has never, ever gotten car sick before. I was anticipating that this may happen with one of my children who is notorious for it. I gave him the Children's Gravol before we left. Of course this would be the trip that his little brother threw up. Give all children Children's Gravol! And pack plastic bags and lots of wipes just in case! Have a change of clothes handy for them too.

As much as you may hate the idea of your children watching TV for hours upon end, a portable DVD player can be a lifesaver for a trip like this. They are going to be sitting there anyways, may as well have some entertainment handy. It beats counting the trees as you go by.

Have snacks ready. For this, and this alone we broke our 'no eating in the car' rule. It's amazing how many extra KMs you can get by saying, "who wants a fruit snack?"

Plan in time to pee. That may sound silly, but it was the pee breaks (not lunch) that saved our sanity. Just that 15 minutes out of the car, where everyone can stretch their legs a bit, breaks up the monotony of a trip like this. It rejuvenated us all and let us get a little bit further in the day.

Gramma's secret stash. My mom packed each child a few 'little somethings' for along the way. They were given at lunchtime and at the hotels we stopped at for the night. Those 'little somethings' were great incentives for my kids to behave.

Car entertainment bags are great too. My older kids each had a Where's Waldo book, an Eye Spy book, a Colour Wonder colouring book and a few favorite toys to play with. My toddler's bag had 2 stuffed toys, a few cars and a few little people.

Remember they are kids. The excitement of the 'car trip' wears off after the first day. The second day is always harder because they now know what it really means. As much entertainment and car games that you may have handy, they really don't want to be there any more. For this reason we tried to push in an extra hour that first day, to take away an hour out of the second, make it a little shorter. It's also a good reminder that kids will be kids and they may just get cranky, heck we as adults get cranky, so give them a little bit of wiggle room to get by.

Go with the old car trip classics. Think the alphabet game, the license plate game, 20 questions and I spy. They worked when we were kids. And they still work now.

So whether your car trip is up to the family cottage, traveling across country for pleasure or like us you are moving, trust me, you can get through it, and make some good memories while you are at it. Have fun!

Could this happen to you?

2011-07-22T05:28:00.000-07:00

It's a parent's worst nightmare, you've discovered that your child has gone missing. You do everything right in looking for her. In desperation you phone the police for assistance. Thankfully she is found safely playing a neighbour's backyard just a few houses away. You breathe a sigh of relief and think all is well. Until a few days later when a knock on the door introduces a parenting nightmare never imagined. You must 'voluntarily' turn of your child to child protection services or they will forcibly remove her. Sounds like the plot to a novel or a movie doesn't it? It's not. It's an all too real nightmare that a father in BC is living right now.
His beautiful 9 year old daughter Ayn is autistic. Wandering is a commonly related to autism (it's estimated that 50% of children with autism wander). Upon inspection Ayn was reported to be a perfectly healthy 9 year old with no signs of abuse or neglect. She has not been returned to her home. She has been placed in a psychiatric facility for evaluation. Within 36 hours of her arrival she was placed on 3 anti-psychotic drugs (Ayn was previously not on any sort of medication). Her father (her primary caregiver) has yet to be granted any sort of visitation rights. After 18 days of straight crying from Ayn, her father was asked to provide a picture of himself for her. He complied. As soon as Ayn had it the tears stopped. At this point Ayn's father, Derek, is awaiting a hearing to have Ayn placed back into the home. The preliminary hearing is set for September.
So many questions enter my mind when I think about Ayn and her father. How could this happen? How can autism in this day and age be so misunderstood by Child Protection? How is she not back in her home? Why do they feel the need to drug her? The answer is, "I don't know". I really don't. I'm flabbergasted. If you are touched in any way by Ayn's story then I encourage you to join in helping her and her father out. I know we can't make the Ministry give her back, but we can let them know that we are watching. We can let them know that this isn't right. Here are a few ideas:
Sign the petition at the Petition site: http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/bring-ayn-van-dyk-home/
Join the Facebook group: http://www.facebook.com/groups/152278868178942?ap=1 - there are lots more ways to help listed there
Blog about Ayn on your own blog. The more who know that this is happening the better!
Tweet @Justice4Ayn #blogforAyn
Let's see if we can help this little girl get back to her daddy where she belongs!

This is what summer is all about

2011-07-19T05:31:00.000-07:00

We had dinner at a friend's place last night. If you live anywhere between Alberta and Quebec you know how hot it is. Today is the coolest day this week at 29 degrees celcius. So after the kids ate last night, they went out to play in the backyard while us grownups could eat in glorious peace (great plan eh?). We heard the water start running and looked out - what I saw absolutely delighted me and bought back my own summer memories. There were all 5 kids fully dressed, fully wet, splashing in the mud puddle they had made, giggling their heads off. My son was drinking straight from the hose, then dousing the rest. They were chasing each other in a game of tag. They were swinging on a rope hanging from the big tree. They were kids, enjoying summer just the way kids should. Fantastic!

Leader Mothers

2011-06-29T11:25:00.000-07:00

I don't usually use this blog to promote programs. This is one that really speaks to me and I see as incredibly valuable. At the core of Clever Mamas is being a mom. Today I received a letter in the mail from a charity I support. Their overall mission is to assist communities in poverty, training locals to become self-sufficient. The program/project that I read about today is called Leader Mothers. FH (Food for the Hungry) is training Leader Mothers "to teach, serve and promote health and wellness to others in their communities, especially to pregnant women and mothers with children under the age of two...The Leader Mothers each train at least 10 women who agree to train 10 more until the knowledge has rippled out across the entire community."
Here in Canada we take for granted the ability to have a healthy pregnancy with medical care, to have a clean birth with a doctor or midwife present. That isn't always the case. We know how something as simple as handwashing can prevent infection or illness from spreading.
If helping a Mom in another part of the world have a better chance at life for her and her family speaks to you as it does me then I ask you to consider sponsoring a Leader Mother. For more information visit FH's website at http://www.fhcanada.org/Mighty-Moms?. Imagine the impact just one person can have in her community.

*This response and post is entirely of my own initiative. I do not work for or represent FH, it's just an organization that I support because they do good work!

I didn't teach her that - more gender reflections

2011-06-22T08:00:00.000-07:00

My 17 month old daughter currently likes to wander around sporting a furry winter hat with a bow and wear 2 rings from the fisher price stacking ring set as bracelets. When I brought home a new set of onesies this weekend she immediately took one, held it up to herself and said 'mine'. She cuddled the rest of them to herself. I have two other children, both boys, none of them ever played like this. The thing is, we didn't teach her this either, she just does it. I wear very few accessories myself. I don't think she's ever seen me wear a bracelet, so she's not getting it from me modeling it or teaching it to her. She just wants to be fancy on her own. Already I can see the gifts for her under the Christmas tree this year, my little girl is becoming a girly girl. I foresee purses, tiaras and tutus coming her way. And I'm fine with it. I don't parent to fight nature. I have two boys and one girl. My boys wrestle and think farting noises are funny. They are also very gentle and kind to their baby sister. My daughter likes to dress up and twirl in a skirt. She also like to zoom cars and play in the dirt. I think you can raise masculine boys who are gentle in the same way I think you can raise a girly girl who isn't afraid to get dirty.

Too Old For A Pacifier?

2011-06-20T08:38:00.000-07:00

My daughter is 17 months now and I'm starting the process of weaning her from her soother. All three of my children have used pacifiers and all of them under different circumstances. (I've previously written about my sookie babies here) My first started using one at about 6 weeks of age. He was a constant nurser and I needed something to help him comfort suck. My second I transitioned to a soother when he was an older baby, as he started to use me as a pacifier. My third was put on a paci at the hospital as a preemie in the NICU. Preemies are often put on a pacifier to help their jaw muscle development so that they can have the strength to become good nursers.
My first was weaned from the soother at about a year and a half. He had been finished nursing at 12 months. I used a 'lovey' (stuffed toy) to as a sleep aid rather than the paci. And then when we moved we 'lost' the soothers in the move.
My second was a little bit older to stop using a pacifier. It happened around his second birthday. He nursed for longer (17 months) and never did take to a 'lovey'. Getting rid of his paci was tougher as we couldn't find a good transition sleep/comfort object for him.
My third child is still nursing and I'm hoping that she nurses until close to her second birthday. I think as long as she is nursing before her nap and bedtime I will be using the soother with her. Right now I'm working on making it available only for sleep time. So far, it's working. Out of sight, out of mind.
As I've been re-reading and re-visiting the idea of pacifier weaning, I came across some articles that for lack of a better term fall into the great pacifier debate: "How old is too old for a pacifier?" It reminded me of once seeing a child who was about 6 still using a pacifier, out with his parents for the day. The look just took me by surprise. As much as I try not to judge parents, I couldn't help the thought of, "that's just not right". I will confess that I was a long term thumb sucker as a child (till age 6). One of the reasons I like(d) having my children on a pacifier rather than a thumb is that a pacifier can be taken away, a thumb can't. My parents had the cost of orthodontic bill for me to fix my crooked teeth partly caused by thumb sucking.
Famously in the media is celeb offspring, Suri Cruise, who at age 4 still uses her paci. Toddlers and Tiaras star Mackenzie has been caught on camera more than once freaking out looking for her 'ni ni'. (As a side note, wouldn't you love to see the Supernanny take on Mackenzie and her mother?)

So what's the big deal? When is a good age to remove the paci? How old is too old for it?
A paci is designed for infant use. We all know that sucking is an important part of an infant's development. Most pediatricians recommend losing the paci by age 1, and definitely by age 2. The rationale is to allow for the child to find another way of comforting themselves and to allow the child to develop proper speech. Yes, I've seen plenty of older children trying to speak with a paci in their mouth and you can't understand what they are saying. There is also the danger of using the paci as a way of keeping your child quiet. Daycare centres who are successful in not allowing the child to use a paci all day are often frustrated that the first thing the parent does when they pick their child up is put 'the plug in the mouth'. I think pacifiers have their values and benefits, but they are not something that should be used long term. If you are having troubles getting rid of the soother, there may be deeper parenting issues there. Look at the reasons why you are using it. Is it to make your child happy at all costs? Is it to make your life easier and quieter? Or, maybe you just aren't bothered by it and it isn't an issue for you. I'm interested to hear what other moms think on this topic. It's a great debate. There are those who wear their status of "my child never used one" with pride. There are others like me who found them useful, but were happy to be done with them once their purpose was served. And then there are those who have long-term paci users. I could be opening a can of worms here, but I think that's a good thing, I love a good debate.

You gotta check everything!

2011-06-13T19:18:00.000-07:00

Last week we came home to a flood in the house. Not an act of nature, but rather an act of a 4 year old. Yes, my child was playing with water post morning teeth brushing before we went out for the day and left the water running with a facecloth in the drain hole. Now that we are a week past it, I feel I can write about it a bit. As I was speaking with the insurance agent last week, she was quick to assure me that I'm not the only one this has happened too, in fact I'd be surprised how many people she speaks to who have had the exact same thing happen to them. So this is a friendly letting you know that yes keep checking the stove, the coffee pot and the windows before you go out, but also check the taps because you never know!

Mommy Moment Giveaway - A to Z CD

2011-06-06T13:55:00.000-07:00

Mommy Moment is having a great giveaway right now of the God's Words from A to Z CD!
Description from their site:
When we memorize Scripture to song we are able to recall it more effectively.

The God’s Word A to Z cd is a cd with a variety of music (jazz, classical, bluegrass, pop, country, rock, celtic) that highlights 26 Bible verses that start with a letter of the alphabet – hence the name A to Z.

These 26 songs will take you on a journey that beings with the sinfulness of man, brings you to the cross, and ends with joy in heaven.

Abe & Liza Philip had their children, ages 2 & 4, memorize all the memory verses and they recite them at the beginning of each song.

Sounds fantastic and exactly what I would love to have for my kids, wouldn't you?
Hop on over! Click Here!

God's Grace for Sleepy Moms

2011-06-01T09:38:00.000-07:00

This morning at 5:40 my daughter awoke ready to nurse. The past couple of weeks that has meant nurse and then get up, but to my surprise she went back to sleep. As I unlatched her and went to go to sleep myself, she woke up completely. With a deep sigh, I said, "okay, let's get up". I checked the clock, it was almost 6:30. What?! How did that happen. She's an older baby (16 months) and rarely nurses longer than 5 or 10 minutes, and it really didn't seem like much longer than that. What happened here? Where's my missing time? I'm guessing we both fell asleep. Me sitting straight up in bed with a latched on baby.
This is not the first time this has happened. It just hasn't happened for a long time. I remember moments with my first child waking up in a rocking chair, baby still in arms 2 or 3 hours later. I'm so amazed that not one of my children has ever fallen out of my arms while I fall asleep with them. The only explanation I have for it is the grace of God. He must have guardian angels working overtime with sleepy moms and little ones. There are nights I recall waking up and thinking, "where is the baby?" because the last thing I remember was picking them up to nurse, only to find them sleeping soundly in their crib. I must have put them back in there, I just have no recollection of that happening. I'm sure I'm not the only one out there with tales like this.

Thomas Blackshears' Watchers in the Night

Heat Wave - How do you keep kids cool?

2011-05-31T11:31:00.000-07:00

My apologies to my friends living in other parts of Canada that haven't seen sight of the sun in a couple of weeks. Toronto right now is the complete opposite. It is climbing up into the 30's (celcius) but with the humidex it feels closer to 40 degree at its peak. So how do you keeps kids happy and safe in such weather? Here are a few ideas!

1. Take advantage of the early morning sunshine. Usually we enjoy time at the park when my son gets out of school. In this weather it would just be unbearable leading to the dreaded cranky kids syndrome (you want to avoid that at all costs!) I still want my kids to get fresh air and exercise so the past few mornings we've played in the earlier morning. Yesterday we took a nice long walk before it got too hot and today we headed up to the school a bit before school started to play on the playground nice and early.

2. Water, water and more water. I cannot stress this enough. My kids have water bottles with them all the time right now. And I just keep filling them up. It's a great time to play with water, in splash pads, wading pools, sprinklers or just drag out some rubbermaid tubs and fill them up. At night I cool my kids down with a nice cool bath before they get their jammies on too.

3. Keep the house cool. We have A/C but we don't put it on in the day (trying to save energy costs). We turn it on in the evening and shut it off when we get up in the morning. The house stays cool because we keep the heat out of it. When the sun beams start to heat up a particular room, I draw the shades in, then re-open them when the sun has moved on by (I still want to see those beautiful rays, I just don't want them to heat my house right now.) When we lived in a home that didn't have A/C we strategically used a combination of fans and open window to create a nice cool breeze inside.

4. Plan your meals well. Keep that oven off! This is not the time to bake bread for goodness sake. This is the time to BBQ or dust off that crockpot. This is also a great time for what my kids call 'snacky lunches' - a combination of apple slices, red pepper, cold chicken and goldfish crackers. A healthy balance without cooking.
Freezer snacks are also great for weather like this, orange juice pops, smoothies and frozen grapes are all great treats that kids love.

5. Cool clothes - light cotton jammies and a sheet or a thin blanket ought to be enough in this weather, shorts and t-shirts in the day. Don't forget that hat and some good sunscreen!

What kinds of tricks and tips do you have to help your kids beat the heat?

Sheep Cupcakes

2011-05-29T04:42:00.000-07:00

Aren't these cute! I don't often do this, but my post on my foodie blog this morning fits our Clever Mama's blog as well. These cupcakes were our Messy Church craft last night and all the kids had such fun making them, I thought I would share the idea with you. To find out how to make them, hop on over to Whatcha Eatin'

Celebrating Your Child's Gender

2011-05-24T11:38:00.000-07:00

This weekend the Toronto Star's front page story had a picture of a beautiful baby with the headline: "Is this a boy or a girl?" The article went on to detail how the parents of this child has opted not to share the child's gender with anyone but the immediate family. You can read the original article here. While that family has made a very unique, extreme choice in parenting their children, it does prompt me to question why they are so against celebrating their child's gender. I have 2 boys and a girl. For my husband and I, their genders are part of them. When it comes to gender it isn't about hair length and toys they play with. My 4 year old son just last week played dress up to be a mermaid boy, using a pillowcase. My 1 year old daughter pushes little cars and airplanes around making vroom noises. It is more about identifying themselves as being male or female. I believe this is a healthy perspective to have.
Boys are boys and girls are girls. It is what it is. It doesn't mean one is superior to another. It just means there are differences.
Case in point - the week before we were married, my husband and I each went out with our friends as a pre-wedding celebration. My girlfriends and I spent an afternoon at the spa having manicures and pedicures, followed by a nice meal at a restaurant where we traded stories of love over a glass of wine. My husband and his friends headed into the woods with and ATV and lots of meat to roast over a fire. They too shared stories of love and marriage, just in a slightly different way. We both loved these nights out we had and they are fond memories for us. I'll tell you what though, my husband would never, ever want to spend his day at the spa the way I did. Though I enjoy the outdoors, his pre-wedding celebration would not have been my cup of tea. Neither way was better than the other, in fact both celebrations were perfect, they were just different from each other.
During the 70's many parents rebelled against the idea of genderizing their children. They bought gender neutral toys and clothing in hopes erasing male and female stereotypes. To their surprise, their little boys still wanted trucks and their little girls still wanted dolls to play with.
I remember a chat I had with my oldest son's daycare teacher a few years back. She said she noticed something interesting with the dress up stacks they had. The younger kids (2-4) would dress up in anything, but somewhere around the 4-5 year old marker the boys would only choose costumes that were male oriented and the girls would only choose the female oriented costumes. Non-prompted, that's just what happened.
Reading I've done since confirms that age marker. Something happens inside children at about the age of 4-6 when they feel a need to confirm their gender. I know my boys have stated quite clearly to me that they are the same as daddy, but their sister is like me. This is an important marker in their development. I think they need that confirmation and it is part of our job as their parent to validate it.
One of the more popular books making the book club rounds in the past 10 years was The Red Tent by Anita Diamant. (Fantastic book if you haven't read it yet.) She touches on gender identification with the rites and roles associated with women in Biblical Times (She uses Dinah from the Book of Genesis as her main character). There is such a wonderful celebration of womanhood in this book. It serves to remind me that generations and cultures the world over celebrate male and female. The Jewish religion has their Bar and Bat Mitzvah's which celebrate the coming of age for young men and women. Other religions have their own coming of age ceremonies and celebrations , most of them gender specific.
I know my thoughts are flowing fast and furious here and I'm hoping to make some sense of them all. As a parent of both genders I can say that I've noticed subtle differences in them. Sure all my kids love to play in the dirt, but my daughter is the one who squealed with delight at the sight of a baby doll in the store and wouldn't put it down. My sons are the ones who think it is fun to spend the afternoon at the Harley Davidson store with their Dad checking out the motorcycles. I would rather celebrate who they are in their gender than pretending it didn't exist. Maybe that's why this article hit such a nerve for so many people. (You can read the follow-up article here).
To better understand my husband and my sons I read a fantastic book by John Eldredge called, "Wild at Heart". It is the best I've read in confirming and celebrating the masculine side of men. I've since learned that he and his wife co-wrote a follow-up book celebrating the feminine side of women called, "Captivating" and have just today put in an order for it. I look forward reading to what they have to say.

The Big Question

2011-05-24T10:27:00.000-07:00

Now at 25 weeks with an obvious baby bump I regularly get the question “Do you know what it is?”. This question use to bother me as neither my husband nor I want to know the sex of our children before they are born, however it is becoming more and more unusual not to find out.

I have to say that with the second time around I feel like it would be easier to plan if I knew what it was, but at the same time it wouldn’t change much either. We live in a tiny apartment and the baby will sleep in the same space regardless of sex. I have a ton of unisex clothing from our first son, so I don’t need to buy much at first, and if it is girl, well l she will just be dressed a little more like a tom boy.

I do think that knowing what gender the baby is would probably help a mother feel more bonded with her child pre-birth. If you know what you are having you can choose a name and begin having personal conversations with your child. I find it is a little challenging to feel a connection to a being inside me when I have no idea who it is in there.

But call me old fashioned, I never open a present early and I don’t want to know. We are having a scheduled C-section (a whole other topic), so will know when we are having our baby, but we still want a little mystery in the excitement of our new arrival.

Any other thoughts on knowing, vs. not knowing?

Simple Snack Ideas for Kids

2011-05-13T10:47:00.000-07:00

I admit it, I get bored and stuck in a rut for feeding my kids. I am not one of those moms who makes a smiley face out of veggies. I get so tired and frustrated when parenting magazines show off all these fancy food ideas to get your kids to eat this or that when really my kids wouldn't touch any of it. I have 3 kids (ages 6, 4 and 1) and all of them have different likes and dislikes when it comes to eating. My 6 year old I consider to be an average eater. He eats well, he eats balanced, but he doesn't eat anything terribly fancy or different. My 4 year old is picky. He won't eat most fruits and veggies without me hiding them. My 1 year old will eat pretty much anything you put in front of her. So what is a mom to do? Here are a few snack ideas that my kids will eat (well at least 2 out of 3, sometimes 3 out of 3) that are simple to do.

1. Hummus and pita - hands down a kid favorite. They love bread, they love dipping. Hummus is a great dip for kids as it isn't too flavor weird. It is bean based which gives them a little fibre in their day.

2. Cut up fruit - apples, bananas, kiwi, grapes, cherries, berries, pears - the list is endless. Try mixing them all into a fruit salad too - or mix in yogurt or use a container of yogurt for a dip.

3. Cheese and crackers - I know it's standard, there's a reason it is standard. You can mix it up a bit by trying new cheeses. How about gouda or gruyere?

4. Meat and cheese roll ups - I prefer low-sodium deli meat (like turkey) and a slice of swiss cheese for this. It is as it sounds. Take a meat slice, put a cheese slice on it and roll up. Yum!

5. Dry cereal and raisins - my kids love munching on Cheerios, Mini Wheat Bites and Shreddies, the raisins add a little sweetness

6. Snack Mix Boxes - a fantastic idea for any kid kitchen. Here's how it works. Take a Tupperware kind of container (a tall one). Have your kids pick out snack things they like (non-perishable) to go in. Layer up and put a lid on it. The next time they are snacky there's your go-to. Ideas for your containers: nuts (almonds, peanuts, pecans, cashews...), dried fruit (raisins, apricots, mango, berries...), dried cereal (Cheerios, Mini Wheat Bites, Shreddies...), goldfish crackers, M&M's, and sunflower seeds.

7. Cut up veggies - have a Tupperware box ready in your kitchen filled with cucumber, carrots and peppers - don't forget the dip for dippers. Celery is great with peanut butter, cheese whiz and raisins too.

8. Yogurt. My kids love it - always have.

9. Applesauce - another crowd pleaser

10. Fruit to go - We called these fruit leather when I was a kid. Just dried fruit strips but they love them. (and they are easy to pack around with you too)

11. Mini Muffins - there are so many kinds of healthy muffin recipes out there that kids love (click this link so see some of my favorite muffin recipes here

12. Fruit smoothie - if you have a blender, this is so easy - a little bit of fruit, (I keep overripe bananas and a bag of berries in the freezer), some yogurt and blend. Delicious. (Not sure? try this one)

There are my top 12 snack ideas. I'd love to hear what your kids go-to snacks are.

Mother's Day Reflections

2011-05-05T10:33:00.000-07:00

Being Mother’s day in a few days I have been reflecting on being a Mother and on my own experience. I have to say I thought it would be easier. I am the oldest of a family of 6, my youngest sibling is 15 years younger than me. I figured I had a ton of “mothering” experience, also part of the reason I was in no hurry to have my own children. We got married at 22, but did not start our family until we were 29.

In the first weeks, months, now years I am continually surprised in how much work it is to be a mother, and a wife and all the other roles required of me in my life.

To work 40 hours a week, stay on top of groceries, laundry, house work, spend enough time with my husband and child, requires so much more of me than I thought.

I always thought I would be a really laid back parent, but I find I worry about all sorts of things I never thought I would. More and more I realize that being a parent is learned, it is not a natural thing. Like most people I am sure, I like to be good at what I do, I avoid things that I can’t pick up relatively quickly, I hate to make mistakes, and as a parent I do….daily.

Anyways what I wanted to get at is that I like to feel sorry for myself, to think that I have so much to do, and not enough support from my husband. I catch myself when I start to do this, because I cannot help but think how good I really do have it compared to the majority of woman around the world. If I think about what my life would look like it I was a woman in Afghanistan, India, Africa, or any number of any countries where woman are barely considered human I cannot even compare my complaints to what their reality is.

I read stories such as these here, and feel wretched that I ever complain about the lot I was blessed with in life. These women are faced with unbelievable treatment for circumstances that are fairly beyond their control, yet they persevere and do not give up in order to provide the best future for their children.

Really as a mother in North America, I have nothing to complain about.

When would you let your child go to the park alone? - Venting a Parenting Frustration!

2011-04-21T15:13:00.000-07:00

I confronted another parent at the playground today. If you know me at all, you know that I hate conflict. It makes me uncomfortable. I worry about offending people and hurting their feelings. But this was something I just couldn't hold in and had been stewing on for the past few weeks. I just hadn't done anything about it yet. Let me rewind to the last weekend of March. My oldest son (age 6) was invited to a school friend's birthday party. I was happy to send him for the afternoon. I do know the family slightly and have chatted with the mom off an on for the past year or so.
When I picked my son up later that afternoon I was surprised to hear that the kids had spent part of the afternoon at the park, alone. These are 5 and 6 year old kids. I was pretty shocked. And angry. My kids don't go to the park alone. We live in a pretty big city. Their place is less than a block away from a major busy road. I couldn't imagine what she was thinking that this would be okay. Maybe it is okay for her to let her kids go off alone, but that's a pretty big leap to send off kids who aren't hers off alone. Thank God nothing bad happened to the kids, but I can only imagine the fall out if something did.
There's a level of trust in sending your child to visit at a friend's place. You trust that the people will watch out for your child. I didn't think to ask, "Will my son be supervised while he's at this party?" I just couldn't imagine that he wouldn't be.
Today was the first opportunity I had to speak with the mother. I started off by telling her how pleased my son had been to attend her son's birthday party, and then I shared how I felt about the kids being unsupervised. I don't know if she really 'got it', and she didn't offer an apology. I can only hope that the next time she has children in her care that aren't hers, she takes more responsibility with it. I know I won't be allowing my son over there again any time soon.
This begs the question then, when is it okay for kids to be sent off on their own? When are you comfortable with it? In Canada there are no legal guidelines in place (as far as I can find out) but it is suggested that a child of 10 can be left for short periods of time, trusting that they are mature enough and responsible enough to deal with it. In the US, State laws vary, some states offering a suggested age (ranging from 8 to 12) with other having a firm age (in Oregon, it's 10). To see a list click here). The American National SAFEKIDS Campaign recommends that no child under the age of 12 be left home alone. So where are you at with all of this? What age do you (or will you) allow your child to be alone in certain situations?

When to potty train?

2011-04-20T13:53:00.000-07:00

I had a really interesting conversation with another mother last week. As I've mentioned I am currently running a home daycare. Two of the children I care for have parents who are from Eastern Europe. One of the children is a boy who turned two at the end of January. He came to me completely potty trained. I have to admit that I was both skeptical and impressed when his mother originally told me that. But it was true. He knew when he needed to go, had no accidents and only wore a diaper for nap time and for outings.
The little girl I care for won't be two until July. One of the things her mother was upset about at her last daycare was that she had sent her daughter to that daycare potty trained and that daycare worker decided it was too much work to keep her on the potty so kept her in diapers, never taking her to the potty. Again, I was a bit skeptical, but I figured if her mom is training her at home, I will continue on in the daycare and take her to the potty here. Again, I've been impressed. She will pee on the potty (not all the time, but at least once every day).
Back to last week's conversation. The 2 year old boy's mom asked me if any of my boys had potty regression. Mine didn't but they were much later to train. My oldest was 3 1/2 before he was completely trained and my younger son had just turned 3. This little guy was starting to regress at home. I hadn't yet seen it at the daycare, but sure enough a few days later he stopped letting me know when he had to go potty and started having accidents. This mom said that she thought regression was a common thing, that other mothers she knew experienced it.
I asked her about the early to train idea and what I discovered was really interesting. She told me that back home (Romania), children start training as soon as they can sit (6-7 months old). Most children wear cloth diapers and their parents just keep them close and keep sitting them on the potty to learn association. She said that she found it frustrating talking with her mother back home and having her mom get on her case for not starting this little guy on the potty when he started sitting. She said that she couldn't find a small potty here, as most potties are designed for 18 months plus. It was only when her mother came to stay with them for 6 months that he started to train. (at about 18 months old).
This is what is referred to as Natural Elimination (NE). NE is common practice throughout the world. Keeping your children close to you. Learning their rhythms and associating the potty at a very early age. Actress Miyam Bialik is a North American example of a mother who used this technique. Both her boys potty trained early on and were in underpants at about 15/16 months.
I can see where the idea has merit and I think it takes a lot of dedication to follow through with it. You have to be able to devise a way to communicate the need to use a potty very early on. Some parents are quite successful at introducing a sign for this.
The North American mindset for potty training is quite different than this. For me, the idea of training a child to go to the potty means a number of different factors, it isn't just the ability to pee on the potty. (As one mom who is training her daughter early shared, "sometimes you catch it, sometimes you don't"). It's more of a complete ability. Does the child have the ability to independently use the potty? Can they communicate their need? Can they undress/dress themselves? Can they wipe? Can they 'hold it'? When all of those things are happening at once, I consider them to be fully trained.
I don't know that their is a perfect age or perfect way for this to happen. If you are someone who believes in the holistic NE method and you have the time to do it, then good on you. I'm not.
The little girl I care for is a 'hit and miss' kind of potty-ing. She doesn't communicate to me any need to go. Sure she'll sit on the potty and sometimes something happens. But sometimes it is a trickle, which makes me wonder if we just got lucky. She doesn't appear to be bothered in a wet diaper. She doesn't seem to have the ability to 'hold it'. It seems like sitting her on the potty is more of an extra step in changing her diaper. I take her at regular intervals and I will continue to do so as that's what her mother wants.
I think the little guy I care for really and truly was trained by age 2, but is experiencing a regression, for whatever reason. But again, he had a very dedicated care giver to work with him young (his grandmother in this case).
For my daughter (15 months), I think I'll wait a little longer. When she shows me interest and capability, then we'll start. It's not a priority for me to train my kids young. It's more a priority for me to know that when they are trained, they are trained completely to be independent at it. In any case, I'm the one who has to deal with the diapers.

Easter Traditions

2011-04-15T09:20:00.000-07:00

Before children, my husband and I had very few holiday traditions that we kept as a couple; we have been pretty happy to celebrate holidays with the sale candy the day after. We don’t do too badly at Christmas, but for things such as Valentines Day, Easter and even birthdays, we have not had a lot of consistency in celebrating them with routine traditions.

I am thinking of this because my husband and I were debating the Easter basket with our son this year, who is not quite 2 years old, and will probably never know he is missing it, but we do want to start having traditions for our kids to look forward to.

This was something my mother did really well, with every holiday there were decorations, food and things to make it special. My parents were not really into commercially celebrating holidays- we did Christmas stockings and Easter baskets, but with the full knowledge that it was credit to my parents, not fictitious characters; it was still fun but we knew it was a game (and to respect our friends who did not know it was a game). I believe this is the same approach we will take with our son; as we teach him about the bible and our faith, we want him to be clear on what truth is and what stories are.

That got a little heavier than I intended especially for my first post.

Back to my main point, which was finding traditions that work for our family.

At Easter my mother would make Ukrainian Easter bread (we are not Ukrainian-but we lived where there are a lot of Mennonites), we would put up and Easter tree with ornaments from Holland (we are not Dutch- I think the ornaments came from friends of my parents). Of course we decorated eggs and went on hunts as most children do.

On a spiritual note our family would usually participate in Lent, go on a Stages of the Cross walk with our church for Good Friday and then to church on Easter Sunday.

As we are at point of making traditions for our family I am curious to know what other people do to celebrate the Easter season.

Our New Look!

2011-04-13T15:20:00.000-07:00

There have been a few changes around here! Our second blogaversary happens this month. We are celebrating by shaking things up a little around here. Yesterday we introduced Anna to the team. Today we got a makeover. Thanks to Lena at Simply Fabulous Blogger Templates and Mommy Moment for her template and tutorials! You made it so easy for us! We are now on Twitter and Facebook! Keep up with us by 'following' and 'liking' us there. Our links are on our sidebar. We're thinking we need to cap it off with a giveaway. Stay tuned!

Welcome Anna!

2011-04-12T10:40:00.000-07:00

We are pleased to announce a new Clever Mama to our team! Anna is mama to one sweet little boy and is expecting her 2nd child this fall. Anna has guest posted for us before authoring "Signing With Your Baby" one of our most popular posts to date. Anna keeps her own recipe blog, Anna's Place where she has some fantastic meal ideas (and other creative thoughts too). We are happy to have her on board and look forward to her thoughts on parenting. Welcome Anna!

Busy, Busy Toddler

2011-04-12T06:43:00.000-07:00

My almost 15 month old daughter is into that very, very busy stage. If you've been there with your own children you know what I mean. If you aren't there yet consider yourself officially warned. This is the stage of no roll of toilet paper being safe, it will be unrolled completely, several times. Any cupboard and drawer is fair game. The string of mess tells the tale of where she's been. She's smart enough to have figured out every cupboard and drawer lock (I honestly don't know why we bother to still fasten them). Our Wii remotes and games now sit on top of the Entertainment stand instead of in the drawer hidden neatly away. All of my older sons' belongings are hidden up in their room for fear of their sister's attack. Our home is gated with as much security as the CIA headquarters and she still gets into things that she shouldn't. Full boxes of corn starch and pancake mix have been dumped. Pages of library books have been ripped. She's just so interested in everything and patience is a foreign concept. It has to be now! It keeps you on your toes and longing for nap time, just to have space to breathe.
It's also a very lovely stage watching her little mind take in everything. She is exploring so much because the world is opening up to her. When she's outside she notices everything from the wind to a bird flying by to an ant crawling on the ground. It's a gift to be able to take in the world through her eyes. It's all brand new and fascinating.
David Shannon captured this stage beautifully (and humourously) in his Diaper David books - well worth checking out and sharing with your little ones.

The other side of daycare

2011-04-09T07:20:00.000-07:00

I opened my own home daycare this year. It has been quite an interesting journey so far. I haven't been on this side of daycare before. I've had my own kids in various daycare situations so I knew what I did and didn't want to do generally when running my own. Here's where I'm at with it at this moment in time.
First, I have a new appreciation for parents of multiples. It is so busy to have 5 kids under the age of 5 in the house. Routine is so important. I feel like I've got it now. There's the one on the potty, another on the potty, diaper change the third, then diaper change the fourth routine. There's also the surround yourself with high chairs at lunch time and spoon feed toddler one, toddler two, toddler three and repeat trick. Alternately, I've got the first toddler in the high chair, feed yogurt, second toddler in, third toddler in, fourth toddler in trick. Fortunately for the most part the majority of the kids are self-feeding (or at least I'm making them finger food so that they can be) so it's more a trick of getting all the food ready, getting the kids in their high chairs/booster seats and fed all at once. I'm also pretty proud of the getting 4 kids to nap at the same time trick. My own son who is 4, just has a quiet time, no nap.
I think the key to having a good daycare going is having a plan, a good schedule and keeping them busy, very busy. You can see when they start to get bored with one thing, then it's time to clean up and move onto the next. So we go outside and play with balls, trucks and dirt. We come back inside to dance, sing and read books. We have basic crafts to talk about shapes and color with crayons. (they love having the big roll of paper out to use markers - I just have to watch my own daughter who likes to put them in her mouth). We have times with Play-do and times with blocks. A lot of the time, they are playing. They play with tupperware and pots and pans when I'm getting lunch ready in the kitchen and they play with toys just to be kids.
Everything takes a long time. To go anywhere outside means potty and diapers first, then shoes, outside pants, jackets and hats for everyone.
The parents wonder how I get all the kids to sleep at the same time. My answer is routine. I have to get them all down, so I do. They know it's lunch, clean up the morning mess, story, nap. I draw the curtains closed, lay out their mats and blankets and they sleep.
Not everything happens according to schedule every day. This week one my kids was really sleepy at snack time (2 hours before our regular nap) so she had her nap early. Of course at nap time she wasn't at all sleepy so I had to find a way to keep her quiet while the others slept.
It's also a very long day. My earliest kid comes at 7:30am and my latest one home is just before 6 in the evening. There's not a lot I can get done for my home during the day. I had mistakenly thought originally that I could use their nap time to do some work around the house. I didn't count on 2 light sleepers in the bunch. So really, I can't do much of anything, except stay quiet on the couch myself while they sleep (I'm getting some good reading in).
It's been an eye opening experience doing this and I'm enjoying it. Every day is busy and not quite the same, but it never is with kids is it?

Ultimate Blog Party 2011!

2011-04-01T06:37:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Clever Mamas! We are so happy to be part of this year's Ultimate Blog Party hosted by 5 Minutes For Mom! For those of you visiting for the first time, let me tell you a little bit about who we are, what the Ultimate Blog Party is and why we take part in it every year.
First - Clever Mamas is the brainchild of myself (Kris) and my good friend Jill. We are both mom to 3 children. Each of us has 2 boys (age 6 and 4) and one girl(both aged 1). We first started blogging together 2 years ago (we celebrate our 2nd blogaversary this week). At the time Jill was a SAHM in Northern Saskatchewan and I was a work outside the home mom in New Brunswick. Our lives have changed a lot since then. Jill has recently moved to Montreal and started working outside the home. I've also relocated, but to Toronto and am on an extended maternity leave. When we first started blogging together we hadn't seen each other for a couple of years, keeping in touch over email and phone calls. We've just recently remedied that (taking advantage of Montreal's close proximity to Toronto) having gotten together last Thanksgiving and New Years. We still maintain our friendship mostly through email and phone calls. We both believe in doing the best we can with and for our kids. We both admit that we make mistakes but part of being a clever mama is recognizing our mistakes and changing things to make better choices in parenting. We believe that some of the strongest parenting resources out there are other mamas doing the same job we are. That is one of the reasons we love the mom blogging community. We generally blog on parenting related topics, but run the occasional giveaway as well.
5 minutes for mom is one of those miss-mashed sites that takes a little bit of everything about mom blogging and brings it altogether. Each year for the past 5 years they have hosted the Ultimate Blog Party. It is a super-big blog link up, encouraging each other to visit new to them blogs. This event has grown exponentially over the years. There are now tweet ups and of course prizes galore. So go on over and check it out for yourself here.
Don't forget to say hi to us in the comments section, let us know you stopped in!

Jill's the redhead, I'm the brunette.

What time is bedtime for kids?

2011-03-30T10:50:00.000-07:00

Quite unintentionally I have gotten into discussions with other moms about bedtime lately. By this, I don't mean the routine of it, I mean the actual time you put your children to bed. Having done a lot of reading on the importance of routine and sleep for children, I have a pretty good idea of the recommended number of hours children should sleep in a day. I know consistency is best. I know having a routine works. My kids (ages 1, 4, and 6) have a bedtime of 7:30. This translates to the 1 year old in her crib sleeping by 7:30 each night and the 4 and 6 year olds in their beds ready to sleep at 7:30 and sleeping by 8:00. We get up in the morning somewhere between 6:30 and 7am so this equals a good amount of sleep for them. I have a friend who abides by the same kind of schedule. Her 6 year old has a bedtime of 7:30, her 8 year old - 8:00 and her 10 year old - 8:30. Again, it works for them. The kids are well rested and wake up naturally in the morning with good energy for the day. What I haven't told you yet is that both of us are born North Americans (I'm Canadian and she's American by birth). We were both raised with the same Western notions of bedtime.
Another friend of mine is from Pakistan. She's been in Canada for a year and a half and really has a difficult time with the Western notion of bedtimes for children. In her culture supper before 8pm is considered early (we eat at 6pm in our house) and generally bedtime is closer to 10:00. She has adjusted somewhat for the sake of her 6 year old son for school (feeding him dinner at 8:30 and then putting him to bed), but the idea of eating earlier and putting your children to bed earlier really takes her back.
Similarly, I babysit a child whose parents have immigrated here from Romania. The mother was telling me that she was so happy that she got her son to sleep at 9:30 the night before (he's 2). She is finding it difficult to wake him at 7 in the morning. 9:30! I thought. Oh my goodness, I couldn't fathom having my kids up that late. 9:30 for me is my time to visit with my husband and relax before I go to bed. You should have seen the look on her face when I told her my kids' bedtimes. She was floored. She grew up watching bedtime stories on TV during the 9:00 hour and the notion of putting her child to bed before 9pm is inconceivable to her.
Another child I babysit has parents from Iran. On his child profile sheet the bedtime is listed as anywhere from 10pm to midnight. Wow! Again, I think it is a cultural thing. They are having a difficult time waking him up on his daycare days because they are so used to sleeping until 11am/noon. Getting up to go to classes and have him at daycare for 9am is a stretch.
This all triggered a memory of an ex-student of mine years ago. He was in grade 1 and was really grumpy and having behavior issues in the classroom. I met with his parents to talk about it. On a hunch, I asked about his bedtime. Their answer was, "oh, 10, 10:30" This child's family was from India originally. This particular school started at 8:25am. I suggested that they try putting him to bed at 8:30 at the latest just to see what happens. They did. The improvement in his behavior at school was remarkable. You wouldn't believe it was the same child. Here I am so many years later just learning why his bedtime had originally been so late, it was their culture to do so.
I don't know about you, but I find this all fascinating. Here in Canada we have based our work days and school calendars on the old agrarian schedule. Up at dawn and meals at 7, noon and 5 (or thereabouts). We are also a country now that is truly made up of so many different cultures. Bedtime is just one aspect of this that shows where we come from.

Taking Care of Mama - Eating Well

2011-03-29T12:15:00.000-07:00

We've all done it from time to time - taken bites of the kid's leftovers because we don't like wasting food, grabbing a pop from the fridge because it's an easy drink, snacked on chips because they are handy. Let's face it we are busy people. Convenience is well, convenient. It's also bringing a recipe for disaster (pardon my pun). I know that where I am at weight wise and health wise is a result of all of these little habits. Part of my plan of re-evaluating my life and working towards taking better care of myself include looking at my own eating habits and making a change for the better.
Here are some things that I've started to incorporate in my life to help me on the road to a better me.

1) Water,water, water - I don't know why turning on the tap seems like such a big deal. It's not. I've deliberately left pop off my grocery list this past month and started filling up my big water bottle. Every morning, it's part of my new morning routine. I keep my water bottle close at hand to grab throughout the day. I'm very pleased to say that I have been pop free for one month now and I feel better for it.

2) Eat your veggies - yes chips are easier. Here's how I'm making snacking on veggies easier. I keep a container of cut up veggies in my fridge. The day after my grocery shop, I take the time to chop up my favorites and toss them into the container. Makes for a quick and healthy snack.

3) Reasonably portioning out meals - I have a good sense of how much food my kids need on their plates. I also know how much is a portion for myself. By taking a few extra minutes at meal time to measure out servings I'm eating the amount I'm supposed to. I've also made it okay with myself to toss out the few bites that may remain on the kids plates. I don't need those calories.

4) Planning out our meals - this is something we started a few years back. I plan meals out for 2 weeks at a time before I grocery shop. I plan meals that are an interesting balance of good tasting and good for you food. As a result we eat out a lot less. And I mean a lot! Picking up fast food just isn't an option any more because I really like the meals we make. It's also a balance of intense and easy to prepare meals. A typical week looks something like this:
Sunday - Thai curry
Monday - chicken, sweet potato fries, veggies
Tuesday - fish, rice, veggies
Wednesday - pizza
Thursday - leftovers
Friday - steak, baked potatoes, salad
Saturday - spaghetti
Wednesday night is always pizza, Thursday is always leftovers

5) Only have in the house what is good for me. Just like keeping pop out, I don't buy potato chips, chocolate or anything else I would enjoy snacking on for the moment.

6) Popcorn - popcorn is a fantastic snack - hot air popped is low in calories, high in fibre and delicious

Sometimes it is the small changes in your life that can have the most positive effect. You'll be amazed how how amazing you feel!

Finding the Time - Fitness

2011-03-27T12:34:00.000-07:00

Continuing on the theme of finding some mama time and taking care of yourself I am blogging about time for fitness today. I fully admit that I am not one of those mamas who are gym junkies. I know these women are out there and all I have to say to that is good for you. For people like me finding work out time is a big struggle. It just has not been a priority for me. I'd like it to be. I've had times in my life where I was very consistent in gym time or at home gym time, but I can't say that that has been true of late. It just seems like so much work and energy at the end of the day. I have a tough time finding the time to fit it into my day. I've tried a bunch of different ways. I find it hilarious to try to work out with the kids around because they are either trying to do what I'm doing, or trying to crawl all over me (which isn't very productive). I find I'm wasted tired at the end of the day when they are in bed and it's the last thing I want to do. Although the funny thing is is that when I am working out regularly, I really enjoy it and have more energy. I'd love to find a gym that didn't charge an arm and a leg for childcare (the whole reason I had to let my last gym membership go was because I couldn't afford the daycare for 2 children and now I have 3 of them). So what do you do? You are all busy moms. How do you get a good workout in during the week 3 or 4 or 5 times? I'd love to know.

Taking Care of Yourself - Spiritually

2011-03-24T11:56:00.000-07:00

The last post I wrote about Making Time for Mama seemed to hit a chord with other Mamas. It got me thinking about ways that we should be (I should be) taking care of ourselves. You know the things that often get pushed aside because we're just a little bit too busy for that right now. Yet it is often these things that build us up the most. As I start to work these areas back into my life, I'd like to share them with you.
I very rarely write about my spirituality on here. But it is an area of my life that I know has been suffering lately. I've been a Christian for over 11 years now. My relationship with Jesus is an extremely important part of my life, but you wouldn't know it lately by the way I spend my time. Sure, I still teach Sunday School and pray with my kids each night, but that's giving out time, not pouring in time. I've been slack on my personal Bible reading and simply spending time in worship or in a quiet place with God.
So, what am I doing about it? I started off easy. I first picked up a copy of Our Daily Bread at church. Our Daily Bread is a daily devotional published by RBC Ministries and distributed for free. It is an easy jump start to reading your bible and thinking about life with God. Having it on hand worked for me, but once the 3 months was over (it's printed in 3 month chunks) I couldn't find the next publication. I was really disappointed by this. I also knew I couldn't slack back again and use it as an excuse. On a whim I did a Google Search and sure enough Our Daily Bread can be emailed directly to you each day. So now each morning I start the day, iPhone in hand with Our Daily Bread. It links the reading to Bible Gateway which is very handy, so you don't have to be fiddling with any books or papers. I'm really happy about this one.
What's the next step? I need some time for worship. Sometimes it is as simple as putting on one song of praise and singing your heart out or dancing (no one's watching, except maybe your kids, and chances are they'll love it too).
It is also as simple as finding maybe 15 minutes in your day and being still before the Lord.
Because I teach Sunday School, I often am not in the service to hear a sermon. I've started making up for that by using OnePlace.com . One Place, if you aren't familiar with it, broadcasts most well known ministries on line. So when I'm cooking or cleaning, I can have a preacher I enjoy on on my computer. It makes for good company. I quite enjoy listening to Chuck Swindoll, David Jeremiah and Greg Laurie. They've got good stuff to say.
Recently Greg Laurie shared some advice that was given to Billy Sunday when he was a new Christian. Spend 15 minutes a day talking to God, 15 minutes a day listening to God and 15 minutes a day talking with someone else about God and it will change your life. I thought it was good advice. Look where it took Billy Sunday.
This is where I'm at. These are the ways that I'm looking to fill the spiritual needs in my life. How about you?

Links related to this post:
RBC Ministries (where you can sign up for Our Daily Bread)
One Place (where you can hear many different sermons)
Billy Sunday

Time for Mama

2011-03-20T14:22:00.000-07:00

"You look relaxed" my husband declared last night. He was right. I was. Very. Relaxed.
This was a long time coming. Recently I've been feeling over-stressed and edgy and I didn't know why. I've been living as a SAHM (apologies to all who are full time SAHMs who may take this the wrong way, it's not intended that way). I figured as a SAHM I would have lots of time. Time to do housework. Time to spend with my kids. Time to spend with my husband. And time for me. What I didn't count on was my own sense of self. Self-worth and productivity were all muddled up in a very strange twisted dichotomy.
You see the first year at home, I wasn't really a SAHM. I was a woman on mat leave. I was still getting paid, but was staying home with my kids. Since February, my mat leave has run out and I'm on extended leave without pay. I figured I would be able to pick up some home daycare work. That prooved easier said than done. And I really was living as a SAHM. Just me. At home. With my kids. No income.
What I found myself doing at first was intense work. I had lists, I had things to do, I was being busy. Then all those lists and business started taking their toll. What good was it doing laundry when all you ever did was laundry (with 5 people in the house it never gets completely finished). Same with the dishes, and any sort of cleaning. I was becoming disheartened. The more I worked, the more work there seemed to be. Nothing seemed to be getting done, even though it was.
I also found myself getting edgy with my kids. Little things were driving me insane. But even my husband's suggestions of getting out of the house for an hour or two rubbed me the wrong way. How could I leave when I had to be doing something.
Therein lied the problem. Because I was no longer bringing an income in to the home, I felt that my value as wife/mother rested in me contributing. I started doing more in an unhealthy way. When my husband declared that I was contributing, I was of value, I didn't hear him. I was only hearing the little voice in my head that told me to keep going and going. And going and going I started to realize was breaking me down. I was not being the wife and mother that I should be. The night my husband sent me out of the house with orders (really suggestions) to visit Chapters and get a Chai Tea Latte at Starbucks was a turning point for me. Of course I needed some me time. I started to relax and enjoy the break instead of resenting being sent out of the house. Since that night (2 weeks ago), I've started to see me again. The me who loves my kids and plays with them. The me who does stuff around the house not because it's a chore but because I like having a clean home. The me who prepares food that is healthy and tasty. The me who takes an hour here and there to spend enjoying my husband's company. The me who walks in the sunshine to the library pushing the stroller. The me who takes a bubble bath on a Saturday night good book in hand, followed by a glass of wine and a good movie. Interestingly enough, this me gets more accomplished. This me is more pleasant to be around. This me is in fact relaxed.

Saving Women's Hearts Blog Tour - Winner

2011-03-11T17:51:00.000-08:00

The Winner of Saving Women's Hearts is Katie of Kate's Kitchen! Enjoy your book Katie!

Take the Pledge

2011-03-08T11:41:00.000-08:00

Jill and I have been Mommy Bloggers for a number of years now. It is only recently that I've started to hear some terrible stories of bullying among mommy bloggers. It breaks my heart. I truly believe that all of us do the best we can as parents. As a community I would hope that we would support and encourage each other in our parenting. One mommy blogger has had enough and is doing what she can to draw all mommy bloggers together in the community. To read more about the mommy blogger pledge and take it yourself check it out here. We can make a difference together!

Saving Women's Hearts Blog Tour

2011-03-04T07:46:00.000-08:00

As part of our partnership with Mom Central Canada, I get sent items from time to time to review and share with you. At the end of February I received a copy of "Saving Women's Hearts" a book written by women for women to raise awareness of heart disease in women. One of the authors is a cardiologist specializing in cardiology for women and the other is a pharmacist and fitness instructor, dedicated to promoting a healthy lifestyle.
So why this book? Why is it important? Heart disease is the number one killer of women in North America. It is also one of the least researched and published areas in medicine. Kinda scary in this day and age isn't it? Did you know that heart disease presents differently in women than in men? But until the 1990's most of the studies in heart disease were focused solely on men. So what you know about heart attacks most likely describe a male heart attack, not a female one.
The authors include a quiz on heart health at the beginning of the book. I was shocked and embarrassed about how little I actually know. Fortunately this book is written in language that is easy to follow and understand. Being a busy mom, I was worried about getting bogged down in some sort of scientific text. This wasn't the case. I could pick this one up and down as time permitted to gain a little bit more knowledge in this area. This is a great book for any woman to have on her shelf.
Thanks to Mom Central we are giving away a copy of this book to one of our readers! To enter, leave a comment telling why you would like to have a copy of this fabulous book. Please leave your email address as well so I can contact you if your name is drawn. The contest closes on Wednesday, March 9, 2011.

Disclosure - I am participating in the Saving Women’s Hearts program by Mom Central on behalf of Wiley Publishing. I received a copy of the book to review and gift card as a thank you for my participation. The opinions on this blog are my own.
*Because I feel this book is so important, I am running this contest concurrently on my book blog site http://bookwormkristen.blogspot.com - One winner will be drawn between the 2 sites.

Keeping Toddlers Busy Inside: Part Two: Movement and Interaction

2011-03-02T13:23:00.000-08:00

Toddlers are learning to move their bodies and to communicate. These are two of their strongest drives at this age. They are full of energy and excited about exploring, and yet in the winter they need to be protected from the elements. So, what are we to do with these busy little bodies in the winter months?

Go out to somewhere where they can move:

library story time
a playgroup (most communities have one meeting in a gym or church)
the mall in the morning when there are few shoppers
a kid friendly coffee shop with a toy corner
a resteraunt with a play place

Try to avoid really busy locations or places where your toddler must sit for a long time. A couple of times a week take them out to somewhere wehre they can run, climb, dance, sing and see people.

Because toddlers like routine, it is good to pick one or two "out" days to go to the same activities and see the same people.

Remember that this time is not for you to begningly neglect your child. At this age they must be followed. Even at a "kid friendly" place, small children must be kept safe and taught to behave well.

Provide outlets for energy at home:

play chase

play peek-a-boo

put on music and dance

have a tickle fight

give them a laundry basket, empty box, toy stroller or wagon to push around

lay pillows and couch cushions on the floor and let them climb, bounce and roll around

make or buy some soft fabric balls or beanbags for safe throwing

As well as needing movement, toddlers learn primarily through interacting with people and things and through imitating the tasks they see adults performing every day. They love to show you what they are doing, and watch what you are doing.

Get down to their level and play:

sit on the floor and watch what they are doing. Spend a few moments listening to their babble and actions. Then give them words by describing what they are doing. Watch your toddlers face light up when they see you recognize what they are up to

if they are listless, pull out a familiar toy and show your toddler how to use it in a different way. For instance, find or build a ramp they can roll their cars down. Build a stack of blocks and knock it over. Pull out a blanket and play peek-a-boo

read or look at some board books. Toddlers read books in different ways. My oldest son loved to lie on the floor and have us read every book in the house to him while he kicked his feet. My middle son loved to point at things and let us tell him the name or make a noise. My daughter likes to read the same three or four pages over and over. Let them lead the way you read the books.

Bring them up to your level to see what is happening:

carry your baby in a backpack or baby sling. Let them watch you cook, clean or go about your routine.

set them up on a chair so they can watch what you are doing at the kitchen counter. Give the toddler a dull knife or spoon and some real, safe food to play with while you prepare supper.

let them feel and taste safe foods, wet cloths, soapy water and kitchen utensils. Let them handle hammers, screw drivers, potato mashers and other real life objects.

give them a basket, box, or bin of things to play with and explore while sitting on the floor. Do your paperwork or check your email sitting on the floor next to them

Hope these suggestions help you play with your toddler.

Next up: good toys for toddlers.

Mommy Moment's Birthday Bash

2011-02-24T19:09:00.000-08:00

Many of you have given us great feedback for our blog template. We got it from Simply Fabulous Blogger Templates. I love her designs. I use them for all of my blogs. Lena, the designer also blogs at Mommy Moment. They are celebrating their Birthday Bash over there. As part of the celebration, Lena is offering a custom template giveaway! I would love to win this prize, I'm sure any of you bloggers out there would too! Check it out here!

Information

2011-02-20T13:24:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine is having a baby today, like right now. In fact I can also tell you that she's 5 cm and they will be breaking her water soon. How do I know all this? Her husband keeps updating us on Twitter which feeds into Facebook.
I received some other good news today, a great friend of mine got engaged last night. How do I know this? She called me this morning to let me know.
This got me thinking about the age we live in and how we share information. How do you share stuff? Maybe I'm letting my generation show a bit, but I don't tweet. I do update my Facebook.
And how much do you share? Are you like my cousin who always has an amusing joke on your updates? Or, does everyone know what's happening with your kids because of yours?
I'm one of those that share things like my son's hockey scores or my 3 year old's anectodes. But I know everyone on my Facebook in real life. I have high security settings.
My friend who is letting us know his wife's labouring progress has a big twitter following. He doesn't know everyone personally on his list. He's also about 10 years younger than me. Is it a generation thing? Do those younger than me just not think twice about that sort of thing?
My friend who called me this morning to share her news had yet to make the big Facebook announcement, she wanted to tell everyone that was important to her herself. She's just a couple of years younger than me.
I know this isn't as much of a parenting topic as usual, but it does have me wondering about the generation of kids we are raising. What is life going to be like for them? How much information should be going out online? How much should we be sharing about our kids and our lives online? I don't have any solid answers, but I know what I'm comfortable with. How about you?

The Perfect Sippy Cup

2011-02-18T18:45:00.000-08:00

"My blessings are in front of me
It's not about the land
I'll never beat the view
From my front porch looking in

There's a carrot top who can barely walk
With a sippy cup of milk
A little blue eyed blonde with shoes on wrong
'Cause she likes to dress herself
And the most beautiful girl holding both of them
And the view I love the most
Is my front porch looking in, yeah"

-My Front Porch Looking In by Lonestar

I love this song and I laugh a little because I'm already thinking of how Jill is going to roll her eyes reading this post. She is not a country music fan, at all. I am. I love the imagery of this song as it captures a special time in the singer's life. You can see it can't you? The little guy toddling around with his sippy cup?

The is my 3rd go round with a toddler clutching a sippy cup. We've had many different kinds in our house over the years. Some great, some useless. Here's my take on some of the sippy cups that are out there, including my new personal favorite, dare I say it? I've found the perfect sippy cup!

This was the first kind we ever had. It is the Nuby gripper. I liked it when we first had it. We used it when my first son was about 4 months old. What I liked about it was that even if he chewed on it he was getting water out of it. This issue we ended up with was that it easily began to leak. Every time he would shake it he could get water out of it.

We moved on to the Playtex sipper. I really liked this cup. It was easy to use and easy to clean. I liked how the handles on it were part of the lid. It had one removable part inside to keep it from leaking. We did have to buy replacement valves as the originals wore out and would come out if the cup was dropped hard. Unfortunately, we had bought these cups before all the sippy cups with BPA were recalled and had to get rid of them. They do sell these style again BPA free.

These Gerber cups are another kind we used before the BPA recall. I liked that their stoppers were one valve only. They were easy for my kids to hold too.

After the BPA recall we bought all new sippy cups. My husband's one request was that we get all of the same kind of cups. That way you aren't fiddling around looking for the right stopper to match the cup. Because we bought about 10 cups at once, I wanted to find something that was cost effective. These Nuby cups were great. We used these until all of them were lost or broken. I honestly thought these were the last of the sippy cups.

Until we got these. These we picked up on the fly. I went grocery shopping with my kids and forgot to bring snacks and drinks along. I had picked up a chocolate milk to share and bought these cups to that they could share them and I could get through the shop. These are the Gerber tossables. They worked great for what we used them for. We kept these in the car for the unexpected times of sippy cup needs. I wouldn't buy them for every day. They don't have a stopper so they do spill easily. They are better for the older toddler or pre-schooler to use for that reason.

A lot of parents rave about these straw type of sippy cups. I was given one as a shower gift for my second son. Maybe it's just me, but I didn't get it. I didn't love it. My son found it frustrating, so we moved on.

These cups were another gift to us. I was really hesitant about buying them myself. They are from the First Years. At first I thought they looked to fragile for toddlers or preschoolers to use. I thought the top would come off if dropped. So far I've been prooved wrong. These aren't permanent cups. They are made as 'tossables'. We haven't tossed any yet, but they are showing their wear after a year of use.

Ahh the Avent Magic Cups. I think my sippy cup drawer would be full of these if I could afford them. My 2nd son has one that he has had a difficult time relinquishing to his baby sister. We got the first one on offer for free from Avent after the BPA recall. We found a second just this past week at Toys R Us for an incredible discount (it wasn't in its packaging). I love these cups. I've never had a problem with them leaking. My kids have found them easy to use. The only thing stopping me on these are the price. Like other Avent products these are not budget friendly.

I went back to Gerber with my daughter. I like the Gerber products being one valve cups. They are sold in packages of 2 which is great. This model is the Gerber Graduate Cup. I haven't had any issues with leaking. The handles make it easy for my daughter to use. I do wish that the lids would thread onto the cup so that the sippy part is centered when the lid is on tight. One of the ones we have the sipppy part lines up exactly with the handle when the lid is on tight. I loosen it just slightly to make it easier for my daughter to drink from, but otherwise I'm pretty happy with this cup.

As promised, my version of the perfect sippy cup! This is the NUK sippy cup (part of the Gerber family). It has a soft spout which makes it easy for a learner to use. There is no stopper, but so far, no leaks either. The greatest part for me, is that the handle can be adjusted easily. I love that. It's also the clear favorite of my daughter. She gravitates to this cup. I would definitely buy this one again.

And for your enjoyment (or just to get Jill's goat) Here's Lonestar with Front Porch Looking In - Enjoy!

Recipe for fun! - Play-doh, Bubbles, Goop and Slime

2011-02-16T10:18:00.000-08:00

We are definitely at the house bound/spring fever stage of winter at our house. How about you? Here are a few recipes to get a little messy with your kids.

Kool-Aid Play Doh

1 cup flour
1/2 cup salt
2 packages flavored/colored Kool-Aid
2 tbsp vegetable oil
1 cup boiling water

Mix together to soft consistency. Store in a zip lock bag.

Bubbles

2 cups warm water
1 cup liquid dishwashing soap
1/4 cup glycerin (you can get at a pharmacy)
1 tsp sugar

Mix together. Store in a container with a tight fitting lid

Goop

2 cups cornstarch
1 cup water

Gradually add the water to the cornstarch until the mixture goes from a solid to a runny consistency. This is one of our favorites to play with - it is both solid and liquid.

Slime

1 tsp borax
1 cup water
1/2 cup water
1/2 cup white glue
food coloring as desired

Disolve 1 tsp borax into 1 cup water. Separately, mix 1/2 cup water with 1/2 cup glue and a few drops of food coloring. Add the glue/water mix to the borax/water mix. Mix together (get your hands in there). This is a slippery slime that is a lot of fun to pull, stretch, and shape. Play with it on a surface that the food coloring can't stain (or you don't care if it does). Store in a zip lock bag in the fridge.

Celebrating Valentine's Day with Kids

2011-02-14T04:46:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day! Valentine's Day is one of those 'holidays' that has a lot of different reactions in people. Some husbands resent it, paying a mark up price of roses and buying the mandatory card, all the while complaining that it is just another marketing ploy by card companies to get your money. "Isn't it enough that I love you all year round, why do we need a holiday to tell me when to love you?"
Single abhor it, marking it as yet another time of the year to point out their singleness. I celebrated many a Black Friday (or Monday) when I was single dressed in black with my other single friends.
For kids however, it's a fun day to enjoy with their family and friends. Teachers love themes and Valentine's Day is an easy one to use at school. Chances are you spent a bit of time this weekend making sure all those little cards got filled out for the big card exchange today. My 6 year old son even brought home a huge sheet of red paper and instructions about a Valentine's Day mailbox contest. This is what he came up with, I love his creativity!

So what kinds of things can you do to help make Valentine's Day a little bit special for your kids? Here's what I have planned for today. Nothing to be over the top, just a few little treats here and there.
Breakfast was the first treat. Using a couple of heart shaped cookie cutters, I made them little cream cheese and jam sandwiches with a side of hot chocolate.

Once my 6 year old is safely at school my 3 year old and I are going to start on some Valentine's sugar cookies. Here's my favorite recipe. Add a few sprinkles or some cookie icing if you want too, but plain taste great too.
It is from Mrs. Field's Best Cookie Book Ever.

2 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 tsp salt
3/4 cup salted butter, softened
3/4 cup sugar
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla extract

Pre-heat oven to 325*. In a medium bowl, combine flour and salt with a whisk, set aside. In a large bowl, cream the butter and sugar with an electric mixer on medium speed. Add the egg and vanilla, beat until well mixed. Add the flour mixture, Blend on a low speed just until combined, don't overmix. Gather the dough into a ball, flatten the ball into a disk and wrap tightly in plastic wrap. Refrigerate one hour until firm.

On a floured surface, roll out the dough to about 1/4 inch thick. Use cookie cutters to cut the dough into fun shapes. Bake for 13-15 minutes.

Of course cards are a special part of the day too. Give a Valentine to your Valentine's. I've already received my Aurra Sing card from my 6 year old this morning. (If you have a 6 year old boy, you'll catch the Clone Wars reference there). On Friday I went to a card making workshop to make cards for my family. Today, I'll haul out the construction paper for my 3 year old to make a few for the family too.

Later at dinner, I'm adding a few little decorations to the table, heart confetti and Hershey's kisses add to the day. And we'll have strawberries and chocolate with our sugar cookies for tonight.

Some of you are very crafty so I have to share this little easy apron craft I found at Flexible Dreams. It is soooo cute! I'm looking forward to when my daughter is big enough for me to make one of these for her. I might not wait that long, I think I'll keep an eye out for a set to make one for my 4 year old niece in the meantime.
Take a look here

Happy Valentine's Day! I'd love to hear what little treats you've got going on for today!

Reducing Toddler Frustration

2011-02-09T13:03:00.000-08:00

Beck, one of our faithful readers, asked about screaming or shreiking. Mostly her little guy is screaming when he is put in his car seat or has something else he doesn't like happen to him. Beck wanted to know if this was something that needed to be curbed, or wether it would fade on its own over time.

Well, Beck, it all depends on the personality of your child. My oldest son still screams and shreiks when he is frustrated, but he started screaming with frustration when he was about 2 months old, so you would probably know already if Thomas had a really high level or frustration. We still haven't figured out how to make our son stop it, and we often dread when we have to set a boundary because we know "the scream" is coming.

In older babies and young toddlers, however, the scream is often due to a lack of words. Babies are old enough to know what they want and what they are feeling, but they have no words to tell you. So they shreik.

There are two things you can do to make things easier. First of all, build a routine around things like going into the car, going to bed, or ending an activity. He is getting old enough that he can start to remember the routine and know what is coming next. So when it is time to get into the car, talk about going into the car when you are putting his boots on, and make up a song or rhyme about buckling him into his seat. When it is time to stop playing, tell him that it is time to say "bye bye" to his toys. Wave with him to his toys, so he has a chance to get the idea in his head that it is time to change activities. This will help him to change gears a little easier, and hopefully stop some of the screaming.

The second thing you can do is say what you think he is feeling. With our second son, Aaron, this would almost always stop the scream. I would say, "Aaron is angry that he is in the car seat and he can't move around." He would look at me as if I finally understood what he was trying to say, and then he would move on with his day. Giving babies and toddlers the words they can't say themselves lets them know that you understand them. It also helps them to have the vocabulary they will need later to tell you they are hungry, tired, frustrated or sad. Then when they are older, hopefully they will be able to say that they are sad, rather than shreiking at you.

Hopefully these two little tips will help, and you guys can have more calm drives in the future. Hang in there, and if all else fails, pick up some earplugs or noise blocking headphones (Dave used to walk our screaming kids with his lawn mowing headphones on) to make your drives a little easier on yourself.

Keeping Young Toddlers Busy in Winter: Introduction

2011-02-09T12:51:00.000-08:00

It is February, and I know that for most of us in Canada and the Northern United States this is a difficult month. Winter has already been here for two or three months, and we know there is at least another month or two until Spring. It is often the time of sub-zero temperatures (or -20 celcius), when it is really too cold to bundle little bodies up and take them outside to play. So the question arises, what do you do with your toddler all day long in the deepest, darkest days of winter?

Toddlers are busy, curious little people who have some pretty specific needs. They need to move and explored with their senses. They are into pouring, stirring, dumping, emptying and occasionally filling back up again. They love crashing, throwing and making noise. They need lots of touch and lots of repetition. The problem is that they are too big and curious to be happily carried around all day, but they are too small to play imaginativly by themselves for long periods of time.

If left to their own devices, a toddler will often be able to amuse themselves. But that amusement can come at a messy, aggrivating cost. Entire boxes of kleenex emptied out and ripped up around the house. All the books removed from the lower shelves of the bookshelves. Flour, cereal or something sticky spread all over the kitchen. Marker or crayon decorating the wall, the cupboards, the floor and the baby. When toddlers get bored, everyone suffers. They make messes, have meltdowns and become grumpy, difficult little people.

The thing is that this little person is trying to get their needs met. She is very much living inside of her body. And she is becoming aware of her ability to interact wiht the world around her. No longer content to just watch and learn through seeing, toddlers want to learn by doing. In my inexpert experience as a parent, I would say there are three things that a toddler needs us to give them in the winter that they miss from staying inside a long: movement, sensory stimulation and interactive experiences.

Plastic lights-and-buzzers toy makers tell us that if we just buy the right toys, our toddlers will be happy, stimulated and smart. But toddlers need real life. For their brains and bodies to mature well they don't need educational videos and toys. All they truly need are tactile experiences and loving people. We can use common things around the house and a little creativity to keep our toddlers, and ourselves, happy in the winter. Stay tuned for suggestions on how to help toddlers meet their need for movement, interaction, imitation and sensory imput.

Toddler Alert!

2011-02-07T18:15:00.000-08:00

Hello, everyone! Well, Emma, my baby, is almost 15 months, and she has definitely hit the toddler stage. Suddenly she is getting into everything, babbling about everything, routine bound, stubborn, opinionated, and dramatic. She dances and claps when she is happy. She cries and throws herself to the ground when she is sad. She runs across the house when Dad or big brother comes home to greet them.

I remember when my oldest son hit this stage, I was both amazed and bemused. Where did that helpless babe in arms go? Who was this little person that had just entered our world? And what was I supposed to do with him? This is my third time around the toddler adventure, and I feel a bit more well equipped to know what I am doing (it is so much easier to post about this than the 6 yr old stage, which is all new to me). So I thought I would share a little of what I have learned, and am being reminded of, right now.

I thought I would write a few posts about Toddlers, this month, as I know February and March can be a tough time to be stuck in the house with a toddler.

I think one of the hardest changes at this stage, if you have been following an attachment style of parenting, is beginning to say "no". After all, you have spent time training yourself to tune into your baby and listen to their wisdom about their body and needs. But now things are changing. Toddlers are still aware of their needs, and they will often try to tell you when they are hungry, wet, tired, or bored, but they are also moving into a stage of testing and exploring. They are looking for you to teach them what is safe, what is okay to play with, what they should and should not do and where they can and can not go. The trust you have been building up with your child to this point will help them to listen to you. But that trust must change. Your job will become not just need-fulfiller, but increasingly safety patrol, reffaree, boundary setter and redirector.

Parenting a toddler requires switching gears and parenting methods, while still maintaining an underlying foundation of love, trust and guidance. I am going to start by talking about keeping toddlers busy in the winter, since they are so full of energy and get pretty cooped up by this time of the year (especially if they are old enough that they have been exploring the house since November).

While I start there, if you are new to parenting this age group, what questions do you have about toddlers? If you've been-there-done-that, what do you think are some of the most important things to remember while parenting a toddler?

When Mama reaches her boiling point...

2011-02-06T19:16:00.000-08:00

My dear sweet daughter has been cutting teeth. Her sleeping pattern has gone off, waking at all hours and up early. She's not napping well either. She is fine, sweet as pie as normal, but mama...well, quite frankly it's caught up with me and I'm exhausted. Usually, I can catch up with a nap when she does a lot of night waking, but this weekend there was no napping.
I knew I was getting to my breaking point. So how did I handle it?
First, I let my husband know where I was at. I think that is so important. Communicating what is going on helps release some of that anxiety. It also gets me some help. He told me he would take over the bedtime routine with our boys. Great! Now all I had to worry about was getting our daughter down for the night. She went down pretty easy.
My husband suggested I go to bed early. As tired as I was, I knew what I really needed was a little me time. So I took advantage. I picked up a book and ran a hot bath. I could feel the stress just start to melt away. After my bath, I headed down for a little mindless TV. The combination worked for me. I feel so much better now.
Often as parents we get so caught up in going, going, going that we can forget to slow down. When you don't take any down time, that's when you enter the danger zone in parenting. I know I don't want to explode on my children, or my husband, or myself. It's up to me to recognize where I'm at and what I can and cannot handle. That's why the first step I took was so important, telling someone else and asking for help. The next part, spoiling myself a little is important too. So much of my time is spent giving out to my family that I don't take for myself very often. I've learned that I have to get a little me alone time in to re-energize myself.
Now if you will all excuse me, I'm headed off to bed. Hopefully, little miss will sleep a little better tonight.

Snow Day!

2011-02-03T08:14:00.000-08:00

I know I'm a great one for the day after you need it ideas! But of course yesterday was a snow day around here, and most other parts of the US and Canada. It's the first snow day school day off this year for my son this year and he was ecstatic! I thought I would make it the best possible snow day that a kid would want to enjoy. Here's what we did.
I let him (and his 3 year old brother) stay in their PJ's and watch the Family Channel for most of the morning. This is a huge treat for my 6 year old. He normally doesn't watch TV during the week and has a time limit on weekends (unless we are watching a movie). We built a big living room fort using chairs, blankets and pillows. They brought in a few of their favorite stuffed animals too.

Once they were dressed for the day, we got out the mini-sticks and had a bit of hallway hockey on the go. They love this. It's one of their favorite things to do. (the great thing with their mini-sticks is that they use foam pucks - their baby sister likes to chew on them while they play)

For lunch as a treat, I let them eat in their fort. We're pretty strict about keeping food at the table around here, so they really enjoyed this. They loved it even more when I made them a big bowl of popcorn to share too. We popped popcorn and drank hot chocolate for our afternoon movie, Mary Poppins. This was the first time I've showed this movie to my kids. It was a bit long for my 3 year old, but they both laughed hysterically at Bert's antics and Mary Poppin's magic. My 6 year old loved it.

Once the movie was over, the wicked wind had stopped, so I bundled them up and sent them out to enjoy the fresh snow. There is so much to do in a pile of fresh snow. They started making a snow fort, but then got distracted to become archaeologists searching for long, lost treasure. They finished it up with a small snowball fight before coming in.

Once they were in, I pulled out the fun foam masks I had left over from E's birthday last summer. They decorated them and a few strips for wristbands and became superheroes taking over my house.
After they were superheroes, they decided to become wrestlers. It was about this time I approached my husband and suggested that maybe since the snow had died down he could take them out for a car ride and pick up some supper. A much nicer alternative to the brother violence I could foresee happening. So that's what they did. They went on a burger run while I made fries at home and tidied up a bit.

Once home, we had our burgers, got the kids into jammies and brought out their story books. They happily settled into their beds that night, tuckered out and dreaming of another snow day.

Celebrating Great Dads!

2011-01-29T05:56:00.000-08:00

We are a long way off these days from shows like Father Knows Best and Leave it to Beaver. You know, shows where Dad was king and always had the right answer. The most consistent father image on TV is Homer Simpson, the bumbling idiot, who is good for a laugh, but not for a role model. As a whole, I think dads get looked over a lot. We live in an age where many kids don't live with their own fathers. I had a kindergarten class a few years back of 20 students. Of those 20, only 5 lived with their fathers. One of those was a single dad who just melted my heart. He had 3 girls and he tried so hard to do right for them.

Really, I just wanted to take a moment for dads. So often they get the short end of the stick. We know mom is there. Moms get celebrated and loved. Believe me, I've seen the all out madness that overtakes a school near Mother's Day, of crafts and cards and poetry. But Father's Day often gets neglected because teachers don't want kids to feel bad if they don't have a dad around. (I would argue that the reverse could be true as well). I had a fantastic teacher friend who still acknowledged Father's Day and had crafts, cards and poetry associated with it. She asserted that there really was no good of ignoring the existence of a holiday. Most children if they didn't have a father in their lives, usually had a grandfather, uncle or step-father around who they could celebrate in the father role. I agree with that.

I was struck this week by how determined my husband is to be a good, involved father with our children. His own father often worked away, consequently he doesn't feel that he was fathered well. His dad wasn't one to sit him down and ask how his day was. He knew that when he had kids he would do his best to do better than that.

Here are some things that make me happy to know my husband is there for my kids.

Bedtime is Dad time. They have a whole routine down of talk time, devotional time, prayer time and cuddle time (and goodness help you if you try to leave out one part of it). We first picked this up from watching friends of ours who started having children a couple of years before we did. The mom took charge of getting the baby down to bed, and the dad took charge of the other child's bed time. It works. My husband loves that our kids open up to him at bedtime, telling him their troubles and celebrating successes. It's great.

Hockey practice is also Dad time. He takes our son outside and works with him on his shots, stick handling and goal tending skills. Not every day, but he tries to get out there once or twice a week. He's not easy on him either. He encourages our son, teaches him tricks, but doesn't let him get away with laziness. He pushes him to keep trying, keep getting better. He certainly applauds him, but is trying to find a balance between tough on him and too gentle on him.

Ever since our first child was little and old enough to go out for the day, my husband has made a point of having a special outing with our kids once every couple of weeks. It may be as simple as a muffin at Tim Horton's or going for a ride on the subway line, but our kids love it. I love it too as it gives me a nice hour of quiet time at home.

I brought up the idea that maybe we need to have another 'sex' talk with our oldest child, just because of some of the questions he's been asking lately. I said I was totally happy to do it, but my husband said he would. He remembers that his dad never talked about that kind of stuff with him and he wished he had. Boys need another male perspective.

My husband volunteered to read to our son's class this week on Family Literacy Day. Before we had kids he would often come down to read to my classes as well. He thinks it is important to see that men can play a positive role with kids. I taught in high needs schools where most of my kids didn't have positive male role models around. They loved when my husband came in to the classroom.

I know these are just little things, but they do start to add up. We know we have a long way to go from being perfect. But this week, I was just struck by how much I appreciate what my husband does to be a good father. How about you? What ways do you see your kid's dad engaging with your kids?

School Lunch Ideas - Mid-year successes

2011-01-22T13:07:00.000-08:00

I started off this school year seeking to find interesting school lunches for my first grader. It's a double challenge as it has to meet the school parameters of being nut-free, healthy, filling and litter-free (or close to as possible). I have a stash of small plastic containers and aluminum water bottles to assist with the litter-free part. Our school is known as a green school and is famous for it's 'boomerang lunches' weeks where everything that goes to school comes back. My son is also not a big fan of traditional sandwiches (he loves peanut butter and banana, but you can't send peanut butter to school).

Here are some lunches that my son loves

Mains
hummus and pita
bagel with cream cheese
pizza pinwheels (recipe here)
cracker sandwiches (Ritz with cheese whiz or cream cheese)
meat roll ups, cheese and crackers (rolled up lunch meat slices, usually turkey)
meatloaf sandwich (slice of leftover meatloaf in two slices of bread)
leftover cold pizza
pizza sticks (recipe below)
English Muffins with cream cheese and jam
English Muffins with pizza sauce, pepperoni and cheese
ham and cheese muffin
tomato soup in a thermos
spaghetti in a thermos
macaroni and cheese in a thermos

Sides
yogurt
apple slices
banana
clementine
other seasonal fruit
applesauce
veggies and dip
goldfish crackers
dried fruit snacks (eg: fruit to go)
raisins and cheerios mix
popcorn
muffin
granola bars (watch for nut content)
banana bread
zucchini loaf

Drink
orange juice
apple juice
fruit plus veggies juice
water

I make a point to stay away from chips, cookies and candy for school lunches. I like to pick a good mix that represents each area of Canada's Food Guide so that my son gets fueled up for the rest of the day.

What ideas have worked for you this year?

Pizza Sticks

2 cups flour
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp sugar
1/2 tsp dried basil
1 tbsp instant yeast
1 1/2 tbsp olive oil
1 cup hot water
1/2 cup flour (approx.)
2/3 cup chopped pepperoni

2 tbsp margarine (melted)
1/4 tsp garlic powder

Place oven rack in centre position. Spray baking sheet with non-stick cooking spray. Stir the first 5 ingredients together in the bowl. Pour in the olive oil and hot water. Stir until the flour is combined. Work the second amount of flour until the dough is no longer sticky. Turn out onto a lightly floured surface. Knead for about 5 minutes, adding more flour as needed and a bit of the chopped pepperoni, until all the pepperoni is mixed into the dough. Invert the bowl over the dough. Let the dough rest 10 minutes. Roll the dough out to about 1/2 inch thick. Cut rows about 1 inch wide with the knife on the cutting board. Cut crosswise into 5 inch long sticks. Lay each stick on the baking sheet, about 2 inches apart. Cover with the tea towel. Let rise in the oven, with the door closed and the oven light on, for 30 minutes.

Remove the baking sheet from the oven. Turn the oven on to 375*. Combine the melted margarine and garlic powder in a small bowl. Brush the sticks with the margarine mixture. Bake in the oven for 20 minutes. Makes 18-20 sticks.

Recipe from Company's Coming - Kids Cook! 3 in 1 cookbook collection (After-school Snacks section)

Growing Boy! and ideas to help kids as they grow.

2011-01-19T07:24:00.000-08:00

It's happening again, I'm being eaten out of house and home. This time by my 3 year old. Every time I turn around he's asking for a snack, or seconds of a meal. This is highly unusual. He's usually quite a picky little eater. There's only one explanation: growth spurt! This suspicion was confirmed as he cried out in the night about sore legs (growing pains). Fortunately Dr. Mom has a few tricks in her sleeve and uses regular aloe lotion as a special "cream" to rub on sore little legs, letting him get back to sleep quickly.
To help kids as they grow there are 3 things you can do as a parent. First, make sure they get proper rest. Kids need 10-12 hours of sleep a night. Second, provide good nutrition with a balanced diet. I use Canada's Food guide while menu planning for my household. Third, make sure your child lives an active lifestyle. Activity can range from neighborhood walks to playing in the park to organized sports. *During the winter we try the following: Playing in the snow (building, shoveling, sliding - it's all good). Clearing a spot for hockey practice. Even though we have a little yard with no room for a rink, we've made a hockey practice zone to shoot pucks at some plastic bins - they love it. We run indoor races of all sorts (running, skipping, hopping, "Speed Skating" in socks...). Finally, we have dance parties in the living room - turn up the music and just go for it!
I have to say with two boys in the house I'm a little scared for the future. If this is how they eat when going through a growth spurt as little guys, what will my grocery bill be like when they are teenagers!

Trip to Emergency

2011-01-17T07:02:00.000-08:00

Going to the Emergency Department is not something I look forward to (I don't think anyone does really). But, as a parent to 3 small kids it has become a once in a while part of life. My most recent experience was with our daughter who was vomiting uncontrollably (every 5 minutes or so for about 2 hours before I brought her in). As she was under one, I went fully prepared to stay the night if needed. (Dehydration is what was my biggest concern). So I grabbed a change of jammies for her and a book for me and went in.
Let me say that I have full and complete admiration for the nurses, doctors, security guards, techs and any other staff that work there. I would not want your job for any money in the world. They are the most patient people.
The sheer volume of patients that come through always takes me away. How people handle that just drives me nuts though. I know when I go in that there will be a wait, probably a very long one (which is why I grabbed the book). Chances are there will be someone (or a lot of someones) whose needs are greater than yours. So be prepared for that. Complaining about it doesn't help. It doesn't get you in any faster. Nights and weekends after the walk-in or after-hours clinics are closed are going to be even heavier in volume.
One thing that got to me was the fellow who came in raging at the nurse about the parking rates. Yes, I totally agree with him that they are ridiculously high, but what exactly do you expect triage to do about it?
Our E.D. has a great slide show in the waiting area that lets people know about their time in the emergency. It's so clear about how patients are assessed and what to expect. It's too bad people just can't pay attention to the notices and let the staff do their job. Really, they are working as fast as they can. But you want them to be thorough too don't you? When it's your turn would you rather have a doctor rush through your time, or, take the time to figure out what needs to be done? Also, once they've given you instructions, why in the world would you complain about them? If you need to be monitored, let them monitor you. They are trained professionals.
Sorry this has turned into a bit of a rant, more so than I intended. Really all I wanted to say was, yes, going to the Emergency Department is not fun, but it is sometimes necessary. You can help make it better by being prepared. Prepare to wait. Pay attention to the signs and instructions. Use the kid-friendly space (most have them) to watch cartoons and keep your little one still. Bring a change of clothes for them if you can, and a few small toys. Remember to bring any medicines they have had with you to show the nurses. Stay calm yourself, your child picks up on your own stress and emotions. If you stay calm, it helps them to stay calm.
As for my daughter...she was seen and given medication to stop the vomiting. Yep, we had to wait 2 hours before she was seen by a doctor and another hour after to make sure the medicine worked. I did appreciate the admitting nurse coming by to check on her while we waited, it was really kind of her.
Thank you E.D. staff for what you do.

Eating Out with Kids

2011-01-10T08:33:00.000-08:00

With 3 small children (and a limited budget) we've been pretty wary about eating out. Going to a sit-down restaurant has become a real treat for my husband and I and we really don't want to spend it nagging the kids and entertaining them. There's no fun in that.
So we've been doing a little at-home training. We knew we were going to try for one meal out as a treat over the Christmas break. We wanted to be able to enjoy it. Like any skill, eating with manners is not something that comes naturally to kids. It takes some work. As cute as those spaghetti sauce covered faces are, they are better enjoyed on the home front.
We started with the basics: how to use a fork, how to use a knife, what napkins are used for (not your sleeves), how to wait at a table, taking your time to enjoy the meal, how to eat noodles in small bites...you get the idea. And yes, it was work, but work that is well worth it. As much as he balked at it, my 6 year old really started catching on. He wanted to go out to a real restaurant.
Once he got it (and our 3 year old started catching on to some manners too) we knew the next challenge was to pick the right place and time. Our daughter (11 months) is old enough that she won't sleep at a restaurant anymore, but busy enough that she doesn't want to sit for a whole meal confined either. We figured post-nap would be best, when she was fresh and smiley. We thought a late lunch at a kid-friendly restaurant would be best. Late lunches are great because there aren't a lot of people in the restaurant to bother. Kid friendly restaurants are easy to spot with their kid menus (and crayons), and high chairs. We found such a place yesterday afternoon, and made sure we went over our good table manners reminders with our kids before entering.
We've found there is a good window of opportunity for ordering. You don't want your little ones to run out of coloring space on their place mats before the food arrives. You want them to stay happy, not bored. While I like to experiment with new food ideas in my own ordering, I stick with kid favorites for their food. You know they are going to be happy eating what they already know and like. I also don't put the baby in the high chair, until my food comes. I don't want her squawking just as I'm taking my first bite.
Also, I'm not shy about bringing my own baby friendly food into a restaurant. Keep the baby happy, and the table will be happy.
I'm also not shy about disciplining my kids if they start to act up in a restaurant. They get a reminder, but if their behavior is unacceptable (screaming, fighting or whatever), I'll take them out to the car, no hesitation about it. Eating out should be a pleasant experience for all and I want to be mindful and considerate of the other diners. Fortunately, they were fantastic yesterday (I can only think of one time that I've had to carry this out, but it works)
Restaurants usually put drinks on the table ASAP. We have a 2 or 3 sip rule for our kids with that. They can have a taste and then put the rest of the drink aside until their food comes. Kids are notorious for filling up on liquids. I want them to eat the food they've ordered, not declare they aren't hungry anymore.
I have to say I was really proud of my boys, particularly my 6 year old yesterday. He was so diligent on concentrating to use his knife and fork to cut his meat. He was very polite and we made sure to commend him for it.
When it comes to the table mess and the tip, think through it carefully. We try to tidy up as best we can with the extra mess that comes along with having little ones at the table. We know it is extra work for the servers to clean afterwards as well, so we tip accordingly. You want to be welcomed back for future visits, not have the staff go "oh no, it's them!"
Eating out should be an enjoyable treat for all. I think with some prep work before hand, it can be something that a family enjoys.

Watch them Grow

2011-01-04T07:41:00.000-08:00

My 6 year old son took me by surprise last night. No, he wasn't playing a practical joke on me, or trying to scare me (which is always a possibility), it was just the look of him. He looked older. Every so often, I notice that my kids have changed looks again. Their faces are slightly different. It's not something you notice every day, because you live with them, just once in a while I step back and think, "Oh my goodness, he's older again". I know from teaching that the transition around 6/7 years of age is a time when kids really change their looks. Any remaining baby fat kind of disappears, their baby teeth are replaced by their permanent teeth, they start to shoot up in height and you start to get an idea of what they are going to look like as adults. It's so bizarre to see this happening to my first born. He was my first baby and I feel like last night I had a glimpse as to what he will look like as a teenager. Just another mom moment, where I want to hold onto him and have time stand still for just a little bit longer.

Coping with the Stomach Flu - really don't read this one until you have to

2010-12-28T18:05:00.000-08:00

This is a very timely post for me, today, as we have just had the stomach flu run through our family. Of course, it had to hit the day before we were going on Christmas holidays, but that is another story. As I write this, i want to remind you that I am not a doctor, just a mom with a few years of experience with kids and flus.

Please, please, if you have any serious concerns or questions about your child, take them to your family doctor, the emergency, the walk in clinic, or phone the local health line (do you have those in the US? I LOVE provincial health lines and health guide books. They have saved me so many trips to the emergency for things I could deal with at home).

That being said, here are some practical tips for making it through the nastiest parts of the stomach flu:

The thing about small children, I would say under 5 or 6, is that they don't actually have enough body memory of sickness to know when they will throw up. They don't have that adult "I'm about to be sick" instinct. They know something is wrong, they sit up in bed (or on the couch, or at the dinner table) and everything erupts from their stomach onto the closest surface. So, while you can sort of teach them to use a bowl, you need to know that their first throw up will probably be on one or more items of furniture or carpet. The first thing to do with a kid who has just thrown up is to pick them up and put them into an empty bathtub. This keeps them contained and somewhere easy to clean.

If I have other kids awake and running around, i deal with the vomit first so no one gets into it. I quickly gather supplies: paper towel, a plastic bag, a laundry basket, a few rags and a bucket of soapy water. I move through the soiled area as quickly as possible. First, pick up what you can with paper towel and put them immediately in the plastic bag to try to keep the contamination down. Then, throw anything fabric (sheets, pillows, couch covers, placemats, rugs) into the laundry basket. These can be laundered or spot cleaned later. Then wipe the area down with one rag dipped in soapy water. Then dry the area with a second rag. With this process you can move pretty quickly through a relatively large area of vomit (like when your four year old panics and gets up and starts walking across the room, stopping to throw up on various pieces of furniture in your living room). Then tie up and throw out the plastic bag, put the bucket and rag in the kitchen sink and go to help your child. If the washing machine is on the way, throw the fabric stuff in the washing machine as you go by.

Diherria, similarly, tends not to have any warning. For a somewhat older child it can be extremely frustrating, because they have finally mastered their bowels and now they are suddenly not co-operating. Try to calm them down, stem their panic, and sit them on the toilet as quickly as possible. Keep their pants around the legs until you are ready to put them in the bath, and take their clothes off in the bathtub. This means you will have one less surface to clean. If you were lucky, you may avoid having to clean up anything other than the child's clothes. If not, follow the process for vomit, above.

Now, help your child. Remove their soiled clothes and wipe them down with a warm cloth and some soapy water. If necessary wash their hair. Get them clean, and if they feel up to it, give them a nice warm bath. Be calm and explain what has happened to them if they are a young child, as they will not understand what is going on. Get them a bowl or container to put future throw up in. A light metal bowl is perfect, because it is usually the easiest to clean.

When they are done in the bath, towel them down and get them clean, easy to remove clothes. Bring the bowl and towel with you and go and get an extra blanket or quilt. Lie the child on top of the blanket or quilt to act as a buffer between them and their bed or the couch. Put the towel nearby for catching vomit or wiping them up quickly, and put the bowl right next to them. Explain again what the bowl is for. Ask them to lie still. Get them comfy, and if it is the day time, let them watch a video or look at books or colour if they are not tired enough to sleep. After a little while offer them a drink of apple juice mixed with water.

Stay nearby so you can comfort and coach them through their next bout of sickness.

You will probably repeat this process several times before they are through with throwing up. Just be patient, and try to remember that they are not doing this on purpose to inconvenience you -- they are sick and little and need your comfort and calm.

If your child is throwing up and they can not even keep down water or apple juice, get someone to go and get some pediatric electrolyte. It will help to rehydrate the child and return some nutrients to their body. It absorbs quickly, so that even if they throw most of it up, they will still absorb some liquids and nutrients from it. If the drug stores are all closed, get someone to go to 7-11 and get you some Gatorade. It is obviously not great to give to children, but it gets the job done at 4am.

With a baby, you can use the same process, although you will also have the additional complication of cleaning your own clothes, as well. If baby is old enough to sit in the tub, put him or her there while you change your own clothes. If not, take off all their soiled clothes and lay them on a towel on the floor while you quickly get changed. If you are using cloth diapers, you might want to pick up a package of disposables to keep down the laundry until the flu has run through your clan.

If you are breastfeeding, you have an extra advantage, as you don't really have to worry about baby getting dehydrated. Just feed them as much as they want. They will absorb some, and throw up the rest, but at least they will be getting some nutrients and liquid into them because breastmilk is digested so quickly. Expect them to nurse a lot, both while they are sick and for a few days afterwords.

Once your child has stopped throwing up, gradually encourage them to drink more of the electrolyte stuff, especially if they were throwing up for 8 or 10 hours straight. After they have kept this down for a few hours, they can try some apple juice again, some crackers, toast, rice or broth. Keep them on light foods for a day or so and gradually introduce other easy to digest, non-greasy foods to their diet until they are back to eating normally. Even if they want the ice cream everyone else is having after supper, leave off on giving it to them for a few days until you are sure they are feeling better. It may simply exaserbate their stomach and start things all over again. Take it easy for a few days. Even if the child seems pretty fully recovered, try to keep things pretty low key and restful until they are back to normal.

Lastly, wash your hands religiously and get your rest. The only thing worse than a sick child is a sick mother with a sick child!

Here's to hoping that you don't need this advice this winter!

Breakfast Cereal - my rant of the week

2010-12-18T10:54:00.000-08:00

I just read a Yahoo article about breakfast cereals. The headline being:

Parents, Don't Be Conned by Sugary Kids' Cereals

It goes on to tell about how parents give in to the demands of marketing and their kids and buy the cereals. But then, surprise, surprise kids aren't getting filled up or getting proper nutrition in their diet. I know big revelation. You can read the article here. I'm a little bit taken back about the whole thing. You see my kids don't eat sugar cereals. That's not to say they wouldn't, but the fact is, we don't buy them. You don't want your kids to eat sugar for breakfast, then don't get it for them. My kids don't pour spoonfuls of sugar on their cereal either. That option has never been presented to them. So am I in the minority here? I didn't think I was. We're pretty basic in our cereal choices. Currently on hand we have Raisin Bran, Cheerios, Honey Clusters Fibre One and Peaches and Cream Oatmeal. Yes, my kids eat any and all of the above. My three year old's favorite is Fibre One. He loves it, and given the choice will pick it 9 times out of 10. I say kids can be raised to eat well. They just need to be given the option to do so. Be the parent here.

Dressing for Winter and Car Seat Safety

2010-12-15T10:19:00.000-08:00

I was reflecting today how autumn seemed to slip away from me. I can't avoid it any longer, after all Christmas is next week and we've already has a few dumps of snow in our neighbourhood. Winter (or at least winter weather) is officially here. It's cold. We're into our mittens and warm hats.
Being Canadian, I take knowledge of how to dress for the weather for granted. It gets cold, you add a layer, no big deal. I have a friend who has recently moved here from Pakistan and the weather is quite a shock for her. She finds the 10 degree (celcius) days of autumn cold. She finds the -3 (plus a windchill to make it feel like -10) unbearable. She was over the other morning for tea after we had dropped our sons off at school. We both have daughters about the same age (1 year). I undressed my little girl from her hat, mittens, lined fleece suit and boots and let her play. My friend took a lot longer. She removed a snowsuit, not one but two fleece suits, a scarf, mittens, and boots before her daughter was free to play. "Is that too much?" she asked. "A little." I said. Her daughter may be warm, but also may be too warm and overheat. So what's appropriate dress for cold weather like this.
Here's what my little one usually wears: a onesie with a sweater or a long sleeved shirt over top, a pair of babylegs (baby leg warmers), a pair of pants, and then either her snowsuit or a fleece bunting suit overtop. A warm hat (that she can't get off herself) and mittens, socks and boots complete the outfit. That's really all that is needed. I'm a little wary of the safety of scarves (they can be tied too tight too easily, or, the end can get caught in a stroller wheel and pull to choke). If you are out and about with a stroller you can always add a layer by adding a blanket too.
A lot of moms don't realize how big and bulky their little one becomes when dressing them for winter. This affects the safety of strollers and car seats. Fortunately, there is a lot more awareness around this issue. Here's some ideas and tips to help you out.
First believe me when I say that adding snowsuits and layers affects the safety of the car seat. You can check it out yourself. Bring your car seat inside your home. Dress your little one in full snow gear. Now put them in their car seat. Buckle them up. Now take them out of the car seat. Remove the snow gear. Put your little one back in the car seat and buckle them up. Take a look at how much excess seat belt has been pulled out to allow for the snow suit. Quite a lot! You may wonder what the big deal is. Unfortunately there are instances of families being a car crash. Due to the force of the crash the baby was fully ejected from the car seat because of the amount of room let out to allow for the snowsuit. So what can you do? You want your little one to be both warm and safe.
1. Dress your baby in a lined fleece suit. It's thin enough to be safe, but warm enough to be warm. You can always add a blanket on top. (I've found this to be the best with littler ones)
2. Have your little one in their snowsuit until you get to the car. Take the snow suit off and belt them in the car seat. Then, put their jacket on backwards over their arms. (I do this with my older boy who is three. He doesn't wear snow pants in the car. He brings them if we are going somewhere that he needs them, but most of the time he leaves them at home.
3. Little babies in infant seats can use a car seat cover. You want to get the kind that fits over top of the whole car seat as opposed to the kind that you belt in. Nothing should be behind your little one in the car seat. I don't know why they continue to make these things, but they aren't safe!
Winter can be a pain for lots of reasons. The multi-layer dressing is just one of them. Give yourself time to do it right. Lets keep our kids warm and safe this winter!

Christmas Concerts

2010-12-10T07:14:00.000-08:00

I first thought about writing this post last spring when I had the worst experience at a children's school concert. I could not get over how rude some of the parents were! This lady stood up right in front of me to get pictures of her little one on stage, when I asked if she could sit down so the rest of us could see she rolled her eyes at me and said "ppfff!" Seriously! I mean I know how precious it is to see your little one on stage, but the rest of us want to see our darlings and get a great picture too!
I've been on both sides of the school concert scene as a parent and as the school music teacher. There are a few things to keep in mind when going to these events that can make the school concert experience enjoyable for all.
1. Stay in your seats and keep the aisles clear. Kids are ushered up and down those aisles to get on and off the stage, they need the space. There's nothing to make a concert slow down than constantly having to move people out of the aisles.
2. Stay seated and out of the way of others. Yes, your little darling is precious, but so are the 20 other little darlings up there, their parents want a good view too.
3. Plan to take the time off work for the whole concert. All the kids in the school have worked hard for this performance. There is nothing more distracting than parents coming in and out of the gym. The worst I ever saw it was a packed house at one school I directed. For the first 2 acts (the kindergarten and grade one students). By the time the school choir was on to close the show there were only a handful of people left in the audience. One of my students was in tears because there was no one there to hear them sing. Most school concerts are under an hour. I know you really want to hear your own kids, but you wouldn't go to a professional performance for the first act only would you?
4. If you can't be there for your child, find someone who can. I can't begin to tell you how many students have been so upset letting me know that no one will be watching them. I always tell them that I will be there for them, but it isn't the same thing is it?
5. Invite the immediate family and keep it at that. Most of us have camcorders (even built into our phones now) to show off later on. Think about how big your school gym or auditorium is and how many kids are in the school. Is is really fair to other parents looking for seats if you have both parents, siblings, grandparents from both sides, plus Aunt Gladys and your neighbor across the street who just adores little Johnny? Yes, these people love your child. Why not video instead and have a movie premier at your house the following weekend?
6. Keep little siblings restrained. You may think it's cute to have your 2 year old climb onto the stage, no one else does. If you think your little one won't stay in their seat/in their stroller/on your lap here's a perfect time to cash in a babysitting favor.
7. Show good audience manners by not chatting once the performance in underway. That includes in between acts when the MC's are announcing and during acts that are not your own children.
Reading this over, I know a lot of it sounds like ridiculous common sense. This is just my insight to real parent behaviours I've seen over the years, repeatedly, really and truly. I hope everyone enjoys their time at their school concerts this year. The kids have worked hard and love having you there!

Babyfood Recipes

2010-11-30T09:05:00.000-08:00

A few months back I posted how I was going to attempt to make all of my daughter's food. She is 10 months old now and I have been successful at it. Yay! It's been a lot easier than I thought it would be. I thought I would share a few of my recipes and tips with you all.

Chicken and Veggies

I usually buy a rotisserie chicken when I go shopping to use in meals. To use it with baby food, I take about a cup of meat and chop it up. I add it to a baked squash or a few baked sweet potatoes in a mixing bowl. Add a little bit of chicken broth and puree with a hand blender. She loves it.

Beef Stew

1 pound stewing beef - cut into 1 inch slices
3 carrots, peeled and sliced
2 potatoes, peeled and sliced into chunks
1 cup frozen peas
enough water to cover the food
1 tbsp beef boullion

Boil everything together until the meat and veggies are soft. Add water as necessary. Puree with a hand blender.

Apricots and ?

To make a good apricot puree, re-hydrate dried apricots with a enough water to cover them up. Boil for about 10 minutes. Puree right in the pot. I like to make apricot plus another fruit mix. To make apricots and bananas, I take 2 bananas, slice them and lay them out on a piece of aluminum foil. Scoop a good portion of the apricot puree on top. Add a little bit of vanilla (1 tsp). Wrap the fruit up into a package and bake it at 325 for 20 minutes. Once the fruit is all soft, empty the packet out into a mixing bowl and puree everything together with a hand blender. I do the same with apricot and apple, just substitute a couple of peeled, cored and sliced apples for the banana. And yes, I've done this with just the apple and banana and it works great too. Very tasty!

How to store your baby food:

Spoon into ice cube trays. I label the trays with a dry-erase marker so I remember what's in there. The next day pop the cubes into freezer bags, make sure to label them and date the food, so you know what you have and when you made it. Baby food in the freezer can be kept and used for 3-6 months. Thawed food can be kept refrigerated for a couple of days. The great thing with the cubes is that there is very little waste. You get a good sense of how much your little one will eat and you just need to defrost/heat that much. I usually microwave 2-3 cubes for about 40 seconds. But be sure to stir and check the temperature before you serve it. You don't want your baby to get a burnt tongue from a hot spot. Have fun and be creative!

Snack Pack, Share a Smile Blog Tour

2010-11-27T05:31:00.000-08:00

I clearly remember the first time I saw my son smile. We had had one of 'those nights'. He was 7 weeks old and not going to sleep for anything. I was a frazzled, determined new mom. I decided that I was going to leave the house that day and take him to the Babies in the Library program anyway. I was going to have a semi-normal life, no matter how tired and frustrated I was. That morning at the library as I sang to him, it happened! He smiled for the first time. All my frustration from the night before melted away and in its place was perfect love for this tiny boy.
We've shared a lot of smiles since then, whether it be from having an impromtu dance party, or fixing a favorite meal together, life is pretty good. One thing I try to share with my kids is that they are blessed. Not everyone has the basic things in life that they do. They hear about the 'big picture' from us. The big picture is that they have a warm place to live, clothes on their back, a school to learn in, a family who loves them and food on the table. Not every child can say the same.
This is why I was happy to team up with Mom Central and Snack Pack for the Snack Pack, Share a Smile Blog Tour. Snack Pack is aiming to raise $20 000 for food banks across Canada this Christmas. Here's how it works:

Log onto Facebook, look up Snack Pack Canada, Like the page, Share a Smile and:

•A $1 donation will be made on your behalf to, Food Banks Canada. You can also opt to Share a Smile and Snack Pack will make the donation on behalf of one of your Facebook friends.

•You’ll receive a ballot into their weekly prize draw (for those who have registered for the contest)

•PLUS You’ll earn a point towards one of the fun Smile badges! Remember, the more often you smile, the more donations, ballots and badge points you’ll collect. It’s no surprise that Smiling everyday would have its perks.

It doesn't take much time out of your day to Share a Smile. Let's make sure that families across Canada don't go hungry this holiday.

*Disclosure - I am participating in the Snack Pack program by Mom Central on behalf of Conagra Foods Canada. I received a gift card as a thank you for my participation. The opinions on this blog are my own.

Hopes and Dreams Giveaway! - Aquafresh Advanced Blog Tour - Winner!

2010-11-26T16:56:00.000-08:00

Congratulations to Anna! The winner of our Aquafresh Advanced Blog Tour!

Mean Little Girls

2010-11-24T11:37:00.000-08:00

This morning I was chatting with a friend of mine who shared that she was concerned about some of the social stuff going on with her daughter at school. I said, "She's in 3rd grade right?", "Yes" - "Let me guess, friendship fighting, best friends one day, worst enemies the next" , "Exactly". Yep, that's 3rd grade girls alright.
How did I know? I don't have a 3rd grade daughter yet (that's 8 years away), but I've been a teacher for a long time. I've mostly taught in elementary schools and I've observed the change. Some girls start a little bit earlier, but I find grade 3 is a real peek time for this kind of behavior. Girls who were so sweet to each other at the end of second grade come back in 3rd with a whole new attitude. It's like there is a whole new social awareness happening. The way I see it, is that when kids were a little bit younger they accepted the attitude of everybody in my class is my friend. Now that they have grown up a little bit they are experimenting socially. They realize that there is a little more to friendship than just being in the same class, or going to the same ballet lessons. They are becoming more self-aware. They are trying out and finding out who they are. They see that they have some say in who they socialize with. It doesn't always come out in a great way. In fact a lot of the time it's just plain mean.
This is the age where it's not uncommon for a girl to come up to me (a teacher) on the play yard at school and say, "Michaela won't play with me", or, "Ashley won't leave us alone". Honestly, you can't make kids like each other. You also can't make kids play together. What you can do is teach them to be kind to each other.
These kinds of behaviors are normal, but need to be curbed as it becomes a type of bullying that is known as relational bullying. When your daughter first experiences it (either as the aggressor, or, the receiver) it is an opportunity (and an important one) to teach her about bullying. Yes, it really is bullying, it's just not the blatant physical bullying that we often associate with bullying. It is just as destructive and hurtful. And it is more common with girls than with boys. It does carry on to their teenage years (well depicted in the 2004 movie Mean Girls).
Some girls are more compliant, people pleasers, longing to be liked, have a friend and fit in. They will be more succeptable to being bossed around, being told by someone that they aren't friends with them anymore, or that they don't have the right kind of shirt/bracelet/fill in the blank to be part of a club. These kids need to be taught how to look for a good friend. A true friend is someone who you can trust (not who tells your secrets), will listen (not take over the conversation), who will respect you, who will be empathetic and loyal.
Then there are the more aggressive little girls. These are the ones more likely to be in charge, or fight to be in charge. They are more dominant and make more decisions about their free time/play time. Many girls fight for this power position. What these little girls need to be taught is how to look at life from someone else's perspective. They need to be taught feeling words. They need to have their energies guided towards leadership in a more positive role, perhaps on a sports team. They need to have opportunities to lead, as well as learn to step back and be led.
It's not easy. It's not easy to be that little girl. It's not easy to parent that little girl. It is an important time in your daughter's life. This kind of relational bullying is something that will continue on for years in her life, but you can help her deal with it today and learn how to deal with it in the future. To learn more about girls and relational bullying, I recommend the book, Queen Bees and Wannabes by Rosalind Wiseman. It is the book that inspired the movie Mean Girls. It is a highly recommended read for parents of girls. It will bring you back to your own childhood when that 6th grade sleepover turned into the nightmare you've tried to forget, opening those memories and giving you a tool to help your daughter through these years.

The Best Toys are Open Ended

2010-11-23T04:22:00.000-08:00

The other day, my boys were running around playing Star Wars. This is their latest obsession. In my older son's case he is so obsessed that he claims he can't do his school work because he keeps getting Star Wars thoughts (I find it hard to argue with this kind of logic - Star Wars is more interesting than a day filled with French phonetic work sheets, but that is a whole other post). The great thing about it, though was what they were using as props.

Jedi robes? Check. Made out of the yellow capes I made them for Christmas two years ago. These capes have been superhero and villain capes, knights, kings, Narnians, pirates and now, Jedi knight capes since I made them two years ago.

Light sabers? Check. Well, the handles were made out of column blocks from the block set I bought them for Christmas three years ago. The laser part was in their imagination, which has the added bonus of not being able to actually hurt anyone (though from the number of "cut off hands" that I saw missing, you would never know it).

Open ended toys are toys that can be used in many different ways. They are, ironically, more "interactive" than toys where you push a button and the same thing happens repeatedly. The child must use their imagination and creativity to engage with the toy. These toys are not only the longest lasting, but they are the ones that really build brains, despite what toy marketers would have you think.

Here are some ideas for open-ended toys you might want to get your kids this Christmas. I've tried to list things that are suitable for all different ages:

- blocks
- animal and dinosaur figures (not branded characters, just animals)
- softies
- dolls, plus their blankets, strollers, and clothes
- balls, beanbags, beads, stackers,
- dress up clothes and accessories (doctor kits, badges, swords, hats, etc)
- art supplies (markers, crayons, scissors, scrapbooks, paints, stamps, stickers)
- open ended building sets such as lego, construx, or mega blocks
- play kitchens, food, pots and pans, dishes, tea sets, shopping carts
- playmobil or other sets of people with accessories
- cars, trucks, and trains with or without tracks to build
- cards, marbles, dominoes, high sky balls
- hockey sticks and nets, basketballs, tennis rackets and balls, and other sports equipment
- craft supplies for sewing, knitting, beading, card making, or crochet
- not to mention boxes, pipe cleaners, bits of string, recyclables, kitchen utensils and the other open ended things your kids will find for themselves around your house.

These toys will last your kids for years, get tons of play time, and help your child really build their brains and bodies. Pick some toys that are suitable for your child's interests and age and get them playing!

Sharing a little childhood

2010-11-18T08:05:00.000-08:00

I've been having a proud mom moment these days. Those who know me know I'm a voracious reader. My dream job when I was 9 was to become a children's librarian. (I didn't, I'm a teacher). We all have something in our childhood past that we want to share with our kids. For me, that's Disneyland (we haven't gone yet) and certain books. I know, books. I have such fond memories of books. Not picture books, but kid novels. I've been looking forward to the day when one of my kids would share a love of these books with me, and it's happening!
My oldest child is 6. He too loves books. This past summer we read through our first chapter book together (James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl). He loved it. He wanted to read Stuart Little next as he loved that movie, but we have yet to find a copy. So I put off getting another chapter book as he settled into grade one and this year's hockey season. Then a couple of weeks ago I went looking for books for my kids at the library with my younger son and daughter while the older one was at school. My eyes fell onto the shelf where the Beverly Cleary books are. Beverly Cleary! Was it possible? Could one of my kids be ready to share in a love of Beverly Cleary? I picked Ribsy, the tale of Henry Huggins dog who gets lost at the shopping mall and has all sorts of adventures trying to get back home. The verdict? He loved it. We would read half a chapter or a chapter a night before bed. Finally he said to me, Mom, I just want to keep reading, so we spent a good hour on the couch as I finished reading the book to him. And he wants more. He was so excited when I told him that there was a whole series of Henry Huggins books. This week we brought another one home (Henry Huggins, the first in the series). It's funny because I didn't think about Beverly Cleary to share with my sons, I had the Ramona books in mind to share with my daughter when she got big enough. I've discovered that the Henry Huggins books were the first written by Beverly Cleary who was a librarian at the time she wrote them. The boys at her library were looking for books about boys like them so Henry Huggins was her response. The first one was published in 1950 and they hold up well.
So there's my mom moment of the week. Sharing books of my childhood with my son. What kinds of things are you looking forward to sharing with your kids?

Another Night, another sleep battle

2010-11-16T05:02:00.000-08:00

And so goes the continuing saga of sleeplessness in our house. I apologize if this post is a bit of a blur. Last night had all the signs of being promising for sleep. My daughter was sleeping in her crib by quarter to 8. It was around 9 that my husband heard her cries. She spent the next half hour or so wide awake with me before returning to her crib asleep. And I thought alright, I can deal with that. I went up around 11 to go to bed myself. About 5 minutes later she was up and awake. I spent the next hour dealing with her cries. I tried everything. All the basics. I fed her, changed her, rocked her, sang to her, gave her Tylenol...nothing. She would drift off occassionally for about 2 -5 minutes, but then would wake up with a piercing cry. Finally, took her downstairs to see if there was anything there I could offer her. Something inside me thought 'frozen waffle'. So that's what I gave her and it worked. She immediately stopped crying and started gnawing on the waffle instead. In minutes she transformed from Mrs. Cranky, no-sleep child to Happy Baby, complete with giggles and wanting to play. Well, what do you do in a situation like that. Clearly, she was having some sort of teething pain and the waffle was helping. I let her play and called my mom (she's in a different time zone than me so she makes a great person to call when I'm up late). About an hour later, my daughter started showing signs of fatigue and drifted off to sleep. I had planned well, making up the play pen downstairs for her and the futon into a bed for me, so that we wouldn't keep the rest of the family up. I'm proud to say that we both got some sleep (though not nearly enough). She woke up at 5 to nurse and slept until 7. I'm hoping she goes down well for her morning nap because I really need more sleep too.

Sleep is a precious commodity at our house

2010-11-15T19:58:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I posted my cry for help from my early rising boys. Today they slept in till 7, which is wonderful. However...
my daughter did not sleep much last night. She wanted to, just not in her crib. She wanted to sleep in my arms, all night. She didn't want her soother either, just nursing - but not really nursing. At about midnight I passed her off to my husband so I could get a little sleep. He brought her back in around 1:30. Again, she wouldn't sleep in her crib. So we brought her into our bed. She did sleep, but not well. I lost track of how many times she woke up. Around 5, I brought her down to the couch to sleep so my husband could get some rest. She woke up twice more before 7. Needless to say, when she went down for her mid-morning nap, so did I.
The culprit? We suspect separation anxiety. It's just in this past month that we've started leaving her to play in the nursery at church during services. I was teaching Sunday School yesterday and I could hear her crying pretty much the entire time. Today, she cried when my husband went to school (she's never done that before). And every time I went into the kitchen from the living room she would either crawl to find me, or just start crying from where she was.
So I am trying to figure out what to do. I'm pretty sure the normal routine of our week with settle her back down again, but the fact is I have to leave her in the nursery to teach Sunday School. I used to bring her with me, but now that she is so active she is more of a distraction so I can't do that anymore. Next week, I think I'm just going to stay in the nursery with her to get her used to it again (I'm not teaching next week). Any other suggestions? I can't do the sleepless night again and function well for my other kids.

A Cry For Help!

2010-11-14T13:17:00.000-08:00

I really don't know what to do about this one. It's a new parenting challenge for me. My older son has started getting up really early in the morning every day. By default, my younger son is also getting up very early every day (they share a room). This makes for 2 very tired, grumpy boys. My younger one I can get to nap in the afternoon (he's 3), but the older one is in school so there is no nap time. We have a house rule to not get up unless they hear me, but sometimes they are mistaking their sister's 4:30am feeding for a wake up call. And I really don't want to shout at them to go back to bed which would only further wake the baby up. And by the time she's back in bed, they can be wide awake. They will go back to bed but I know they don't go back to sleep. Tonight I'm going to put a digital clock in their room and tell my older son what time it's okay to get up at, but I don't know if it's going to work. Any ideas? They used to be really good at sleeping until 6:30/7am which is perfect for their schedule. It's the 5 am that's killing me. I'd like to blame last week's time change, but really, shouldn't they be adjusted by now?

Lest We Forget

2010-11-11T04:51:00.000-08:00

Today is Remembrance Day. The idea of war and going to war seems so far removed for some in our society. Though Canadian soldiers still work towards peace in our world, for most it's something that is out of sight out of mind. We often take for granted the peace that we have. Our children can walk to school without worry that they will be caught in sniper fire along the way. We don't worry that the school will be bombed while they are busy inside learning. Not every child in this world can say that. Our grandparents and now great-grandparents lived in a very different time. A time where war was part of their life. It is up to us to uphold the memory of that. Since my children were wee babes in arms I've always taken them to the local Remembrance Day service. We wear our poppies with pride. I've taken the time to teach them why November 11th is so important. Here are some ideas how you can do that with your children too.

Veteran's Affairs Canada has youth and educator guides for Remembrance Week 2011 that you can find here

The Royal Canadian Legion also has resources under Poppy/Remembrance on their site here.

Canadian Musician Terry Kelly created a fantastic song and video that stresses the importance of taking the time to Remember called A Pittance of Time. You could watch the video with your children and discuss it and the accompanying story.

Take your children to your local Remembrance Day ceremony this morning. Talk to a Vet after the service is over. If your child does not live in a province that recognizes Remembrance Day as a holiday, then why not go to their school for their assembly? It will give you a jumping off point for a chat later on tonight.

Whether or not you agree with current world conflicts and Canada's involvement in them does not negate the fact that we have men and women who have and are willing to risk their lives for us. Please take a moment today to remember and give thanks for them.

Homework Help

2010-11-09T08:39:00.000-08:00

Now that we are a couple months into the school year chances are your child is facing the daily task of homework. I'm both a parent and a teacher so I've worked this angle on both sides. Here's my take on homework and some tips for success.

Homework comes in differnt forms

1. Daily Reading - most teachers will have some sort of reading program in place. The benefits of daily reading practice, reading for pleasure and reading with parents are huge. Some reading programs are simply to read books and log them. Others have a more detailed plan, such as reading journals to fill in.

2. Extra practice - this is where your child's teacher sends home some work that reflects what they have been learning in school, reinforcing what has been taught

3. Work that wasn't finished in class time - this is where your child needs to compete work that should have been completed in class

4. Projects - any sort of bigger, ongoing work related to a concept in school. These projects usually require some research time and may or may not involve your child getting together with another child to complete work together.

5. Family homework - these are tasks related to what your child is doing in school that gives you and your child opportunity to work together

6. Spelling words - usually sent home on a Monday and tested on a Friday. These words will be commonly misspelled words or words related to a topic of study.

How much homework to expect?

The general rule of thumb regarding homework is about 10 minutes a night per grade. For example 30 minutes for a student in grade three. This is not an exact science. Some children will fly through certain tasks.   You know your child best. My son will take no time at all to work through a math sheet, but balks at printing practice. It shouldn't take him as long to do as it does and wouldn't if he didn't fuss about it so much.
If it seems like your child is getting a lot of homework for his age see if you can find out why. If they are getting a lot of work not finished at school sent home there is usually a reason. Is your child talking or daydreaming instead of working? Do they understand the work set in front of them? Talk to your child's teacher to see what is going on. Most teachers have a homework philosophy. Ask for an appointment and see what is going on and how to make a plan together for best success.

Setting up a home plan

Routine and schedules are so important for your children. What kind of routine do you have at home? How are you supporting your child's learning? What kind of work space do your children have? Have you built time in your day for homework?
Here's what our routine currently looks like. I know that on Mondays we have hockey in the evening and Wednesdays we go to a community dinner at my husband's college. This means that afternoons before supper are the best time for homework. We never do homework immediately after school. I know that my son has had a long day at school already and needs a break. We spend a good half hour to an hour at the school yard playground to play. Once we are home, my kids have a snack. Then it's time for homework. My son unpacks his backpack with me there. We read his planner together and check his homework folder. He works at his homework at the kitchen table. This way I'm close by (making supper) for any help he needs. It is also a flat working space. Practice reading (for reading journals) we do together on the couch (although reading logs we do at bedtime).   For his spelling words we have gotten into a routine of me randomly quizzing him whenever throughout the week (in the car, after supper, at bedtime, whenever).   Repeated practice works.
Home plans are also great for supporting school projects. If you see a class project has been assigned, then help your child plan out when it will be worked on. (The night before it is due is not the time). Teaching them how to plan out larger tasks and breaking them down will help them later in life. That could be for when they have large essays in college, have a work project at work, or even getting their taxes done.

Supporting homework, not doing homework

Teachers know when parents do their child's homework. It's pretty obvious to us. You can guide them through it if they are stuck, but it really doesn't benefit your child if you do it for them. They also know when parents don't take the time to help their child.   You can help your child simply by setting up a homework routine and making sure it gets done.   If getting homework done is a big production (an exasperating fuss) that's when you need to come up with a plan. Homework isn't going to go away. I added 'homework without a fuss' to my son's sticker reward chart. That's what works for him. What works for you child? Is there a deeper issue going on? Are they having difficulty for a reason beyond that they don't want to do it? That would be a reason to sit down with your child's teacher to discuss. Remember that the best meetings with your child's teacher are going to happen when you set up a time and go in with an attitude to work together to help your child.

But my child doesn't have any homework!

There are three reasons for this:
1. your child is not bringing it home on purpose (aka - they don't want to do it)
2. your child is disorganized
3. your child's teacher has a no-homework program

If the answer is #1 - find out why they don't want to do it and help them as best you can to get it done
If the answer is #2 - then you need to look at teaching your child some organizational strategies, or, find out if there is a deeper issue in terms of organization. Most classrooms have student planners in which they are to write down their homework or any important information that needs to be communicated at home. Do they have the proper books that they need to get a job done? Are they bringing everything home that they need to? Do notices and assignments frequently get lost? Maybe they need a folder to put every important paper into.
If they answer is #3 - this is a new model that some schools and teachers are trying out. The only homework assigned is class work not done and reading at home.

Homework can be a daunting task if you aren't prepared for it. It is even more daunting if you and your partner work full time, and/or have your children in full time extra-curricular activities. It shouldn't be so overwhelming it can't be done. Look at how your family spends their time. I'm a big believer in the following things happening every day:
-outside play for at least half an hour (longer is better)
-family meal time (sitting down at the table together)
-setting routines for daily tasks (making beds, brushing teeth, making and eating meals, bath time, bed time...and homework)
-reading time
Other things are better in moderation
-extra curricular activities
-screen time (TV, Computer, Video Games)

Your child is going to have many, many teachers in their lifetime. All of them will have their own philosophy in regards to homework. Some will be big believers in repetition and mastery, others will be believers in the no homework philosophy. Whichever kind of teacher (or teachers) your child has this year, you can be prepared and organized to help your child achieve success.

Pregnant and no where near a big city

2010-11-07T05:20:00.000-08:00

No, I'm not announcing a fourth pregnancy - that isn't going to happen! Andrea, aka Mama in the City, wrote a great guide to being pregnant in Vancouver this past summer. (You can read about it here). That got me thinking about the differences between being pregnant in a city like Vancouver and being pregnant almost anywhere else in Canada where finding anything maternity can be few and far between. You see I moved to the big city of Toronto when I was 7 months pregnant. The thing that struck me the most (besides all the traffic) was all the maternity stuff! I mean we are talking the 'regular' maternity stores like Motherhood and Thyme being commonplace and then there are all sorts of local maternity boutiques! There were also second hand stores that carried just maternity clothing. I couldn't believe it. It was a little late for me (being that pregnant, and carrying my 3rd child, I wasn't into buying maternity at the time) but I was just delighted at the thought that I could.

Why?

I have been pregnant in a semi-decent sized Canadian city 3 times. That city is not big enough to carry any sort of maternity store, just a maternity department in Wal-Mart. (There was a Thyme at one time, but it closed down). A friend suggested checking out the second hand stores as she always had success there, I didn't. So what do you do to get through your pregnancy? Here's what I did:

1) I found the closest city that had Thyme and Motherhood in it. The drive there took over an hour so I took the time to shop. I tried on a lot, thought through what I would need (especially for work to look neat and professional) and bought most in one shot.

2) I was fortunate to have people that loved me that lived in a larger city send me things. I gave birth to my second about 6 months after my sister-in-law did. Once she delivered she sent me all her nice maternity stuff. My mom also went shopping and mailed me some things - a great treat!

3) I discovered that while our local Old Navy did not carry the maternity line, they did have a box behind the counter of maternity things. When people bought Old Navy Maternity from another store or online and wanted to return it, they could return it to any Old Navy Store. That store keeps it behind the counter. Go and ask, see if your store has a box. I found a great sweater that way.

4) Speaking of online...the internet is full of maternity wear. Most maternity stores have an online store. Motherhood has the best selection I've seen. You can also find cute maternity selections on Etsy. Make sure to check out their sizing guide to make your best guess at a good fit. Most sizes correspond to your pre-pregnancy size. Be prepared to buy a few things a little bit larger than that too, just in case.

5) Check out your own closet to see what may 'stretch' to help you through. My yoga pants that I use for working out I wore all the way through my pregnancies.

6) Some of you are fantastically talented with a needle and thread. Have a look through some maternity wear patterns and find some great fabric to make some things that you need. (I wish I was that talented!)

Being pregnant was one of my favorite times in my life (even though I was so sick for each and every one of my children). It doesn't have to mean hiding away, or wearing a big canopy like our mothers and grandmothers did. We can still be fashionable and feel great about ourselves, even when maternity clothes can be hard to find. I'm curious to hear how other women living away from a big city got through.

Finding a New Rhythm

2010-11-03T18:21:00.000-07:00

So, since my frustrated post last week, I have been thinking over what I need to do to get us back on track. One thing we have been missing in our home these days is a Rhythm or Routine.

Before I was a teacher or a parent, I used to roll my eyes when the word routine was mentioned. Seriously, did people really need routines do be able to get things done? Couldn't they just do it when it needed to be done? Couldn't a group of children just hand out papers, without me having to find a system for them to hand them out? Couldn't thirteen year olds just "get into groups of 4" without my help? The answer, my friends, was no. Not unless I wanted a ruckus. In my early days of teaching, I discovered that the reason school classrooms have routines is because students behave better and feel more comfortable when they know what is coming next. Less time can be spent by teacher and student getting through basic, daily tasks, and more time can be spent learning. I discovered that when I established regular routines and transitions in my classroom, and explained and practiced these processes with my students, over half of my discipline problems disappeared. I learned that the word for this is "Proactive Discipline".

"Proactive Discipline" is one side of the getting kids to behave coin. It is the part where you set things up so that it is easy for them to follow the rules and routines because they are clearly laid out. When kids know what to expect, they are less anxious. If they know they will get to have a video at 4pm, for instance, you don't have to fight with them about wether you will or won't watch a video at any given moment of the day. Instead you can simply say, "We will watch our video after our rest time, like we do every day" or, with an older child, "We will watch our video at the same time we always do, at four o-clock".

The other side of discipline, of course, is "Reactive Discipline". This is the side of the coin where you react to your child's behavior. When children refuse to follow established routines and rules, then you are into reactive discipline. But if there are no rules and routines in place, then you must react to every situation seperately and each one can become a power struggle.

What we have been lacking since we moved is an established, daily routine. This is partially because our days do not yet have the order that comes from things like steady work and one regular caregiver. But we can try to keep some things the same, like a daily outing to the park, a daily time for breakfast and lunch, and a snack after school to keep everyone's blood sugar level even until supper is ready. These little details just help keep everyone feeling physically well and make it easier for us all to be calm.

Trading Toys

2010-11-03T09:56:00.000-07:00

This is an aspect to parenting I didn't see coming. My 6 year old son and his classmates trading toys out on the school yard. You see, we don't let him bring toys to school. Then one day as we were walking home I knew something was up. It was the little secret smile he had on his face, combined with his hand in his pocket.
"What's in your pocket?" I asked.
"You know there's something in my pocket?" He's amazed at my Supermom capabilities.
"Yep"
"This, J. gave it to me" and he holds up a Bakugan.
"Mmmhmmm"
"And I'm going to give him my Obi-Wan ship because I don't play with it that much anymore." (the Obi-Wan ship is a small McDonald's toy, not a big deal)
"Are you sure you don't want it anymore?"
"yep"
"and it's okay with J's mom that he give this Bakugan to you?"
"I think so"
"well, if you are sure, then I guess it's okay"
And it was for about a week or so. Then he decided he wanted to trade back. J happily accepted the Bakugan, but can't seem to find the Obi-Wan ship. Oh well, I chalk it down to learning experience for my son.
So where do you toe the line? I didn't mind the ship because it was a 'free' toy. But what about other things? I'm really not big on this whole trading business. Is is just a way to learn about the real world? Or is it a way for your kids to get taken advantage of? From teaching I know the problems trading can create. Friendship fights, theft, distraction from their school work are just a few reasons why schools have banned popular trading items (Pokemon cards and Silly Bands are some recent examples of banned at school items). Most schools discourage bringing toys of any kind as they are susceptible to being broken, lost or stolen. For now, I've left it with my son that his toys are for sharing, but not trading. He seems to agree that this is a good idea...for now,

Shopper's Drug Mart V.I.B. Blog Tour

2010-11-03T08:26:00.000-07:00

As part of our partnership with Mom Central I (Kris) recently received a sample package from the new Shopper's Drug Mart V.I.B. program. V.I.B. stands for Very Important Baby. Inside I found the following items: a V.I.B. bib, samples of diapers (Huggies), wipes (Huggies), baby wash (Johnson and Johnson's), body wash (Aveeno) and lotion (Aveeno baby), and a coupon booklet for extra Optimum rewards. Their baby program also includes receiving a first birthday card on your child's first birthday.

I don't know about you, but I love getting free stuff. When my kids arrived, I signed up for as much free baby stuff as I could because baby stuff is expensive. This would be a great package for a new mom to receive. You can sign up for the Shopper's V.I.B. program here. If you sign up before December 1st, you could win one of 50, $50 Shopper's Drug Mart gift cards. Plus as a new memeber you'll receive 2500 points the next time you purchase any Pampers diaper products.
*NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. Visit www.shoppersdrugmart.ca/babycontest for full contest details and information on how to enter without a purchase. Approximate retail value of prize is $50. Chances of winning depend on the number of eligible entries received. Correct answer to skill-testing question required to be declared a winner. Must be a Canadian resident and age of majority or older in province or territory of residence. Valid Shoppers Optimum Card® required to participate. Contest ends December 1st, 2010.

Disclosure - I am participating in the Shoppers Drug Mart v.i.b program by Mom Central on behalf of Shoppers Drug Mart. I received a gift card and a new baby gift pack as a thank you for my participation. The opinions on this blog are my own.

Hopes and Dreams Giveaway! - Aquafresh Advanced Blog Tour

2010-11-01T10:17:00.000-07:00

One of the first things we did after having our kids and filling out all the paper work that goes along with having kids, is fill out more paperwork. This second round of paper work was not for birth registrations, or Social Insurance Numbers, this paper work was to help save for their futures. My husband and I both know first hand that the costs of post-secondary education is huge! But without it, the outlook for the future is small. We also know that with 3 kids it's quite possible that we could have all three attending at the same time. That's a lot of money! I think most parents want what is good for their kids. They want to give them the best possible start for their future. That's why we started putting money into RESP's for all 3 of them. It's not a lot of money each month, but we figured if we didn't start now, the costs would hit us too much in the future. Each of their certificates contains the same verse on it: For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. -Jeremiah 29:11. We believe that to be true and we want to give our kids the best possible shot at a good future.
Because of that belief, I'm happy to partner up once again with Mom Central to tell you about an opportunity to win up to $10 000 towards an RESP for your child. Wouldn't that be great? Who wouldn't want free money towards their child's education? To enter that contest, just visit Aquafresh Advanced Futures, it's that easy. I did.

Well you know that we like to give away stuff ourselves at Clever Mamas, so in conjunction with Aquafresh Advanced and Mom Central, we are giving away a Philips Sonicare for Kids Toothbrush valued at $70(MSRP) and a sample of Aquafresh Advanced toothpaste! Here's how to enter: in our comments section, just let us know one tip for getting your kids to brush their teeth (we have a "teeth time" song in out house). Don't forget to leave your contact info too! Contest closes November 22.

Disclosure - I am participating in the Aquafresh Advanced Futures program by Mom Central on behalf of GSK. I received a sample of Aquafresh Advanced and gift card as a thank you for my participation. The opinions on this blog are my own.

And the Winner is...

2010-11-01T09:53:00.001-07:00

Congratulations to Anna, our winner of the Cheerios Milestones giveaway! Your book will be on its way to you!

Not Feeling So Clever

2010-10-30T09:30:00.000-07:00

Hello, friends. You will have to excuse my serious absence from this place, but I haven't been feeling particularly clever lately. Moving three small children across the country and trying to adjust to a new place, plus trying to go back to work, get one in school, and find some sort of childcare for the other two is kicking my butt. I feel overwhelmed, exhausted and at the end of my rope. I have not been a parenting star these last three months.

There has been way too much tv watching, yelling, finger waggling and bribing, and not nearly enough routine, calm and consistent consequences, positive reinforcement and personal attention. Part of the problem is just trying to keep the kids quiet so we still have tenants above and below us at the end of their leases. Part of it is trying to keep the kids calm while we spend time organizing and building and sorting. Part of it is the erratic schedule of appointments with government offices and substitute teaching on random days and passing kids back and forth around us. And part, of course, is the inevitable greif our children are experiencing as they miss their friends, their school, their church, their babysitters, their yard, their freedom and their sense of security. Comments like, "The sky is still blue, Mom" and "I made friends at my last school because I thought I would be there forever. I don't want to make friends again." are common these days.

In the midst of all this chaos I don't feel up to the challenge of giving any of you advice or thoughts on parenting. When my kids are screaming at me in the mall, hitting kids at the park with sticks and awake arguing in their room (located below our upstairs tenants' room) at 4am, or punching each other in the back seat while I try to drive down the highway in busy traffic, I feel pretty lame and out of control.

The thing is, though, that my goal has never before been to control my kids. It has always been to guide them and shape their innate personalities and gifts. I have always tried to show them the consequences of their behavior and help them to find positive outlets for their energy and frustration and excitement. But when you are trying to stop them from disturbing others' and keep them within the new, different limits imposed on them by living in close quarters in a big city, you really do feel like you want to control them.

So, today, I have a few questions for you, friends. I'm okay with the baby age, its the older ones, especially the six year old, who are really frustrating me. Here goes:

-if you live in the city, or in community, what are your limits on noise, jumping, screaming, etc for you kids? How do you impose those limits?
- how and when does your child do their homework (30 min or so a night, after a full day of school) and get them to bed on time?
- how do you teach them to be kind to one another?
- how do you help them to be considerate of siblings and neighbours?
- how much "give" do you give when they are adapting to new situations or otherwise stressed out? How do you do that when you are stressed out yourself and trying to figure out the new rules yourself?

Night Weaning

2010-10-28T03:12:00.000-07:00

One of our faithful readers has asked a question about weaning, and I thought I would respond with a little bit of my experience. Usually, around 15 months, I get tired. Not just sleepy a bit during the day, but more of a bone deep, mind numbing, I haven't-had-a-long-stretch-of-sleep-in-18-months exhausted. All higher brain functions has ceased. All emotional control starts to fall away, leaving me a grumpy mommy just on the verge of breaking into a seething rage at any moment. Its not a happy sight, ladies.

This is the time that I usually consider the first stage of weaning for me -- night weaning. I know that a toddler at this age does not need to nurse for nutritional reasons. They are eating enough during the day to sustain themselves. They are simply used to the comfort of sucking back to sleep. Since they are sleeping right next to me, it takes more energy to settle them back to sleep in any other way. But when I start to deeply and seriously wear out, it is time for a change.

I would not suggest night weaning before your baby is eating a lot of solids during the day, or before they are able to make it through the night without being hungry. If you notice that baby is busy during the day and consuming most of their calories in the night, start to slow them down and encourage them to eat and nurse more during the day before you attempt to night wean. It will probably take a week or two to get them into better day time eating habits. Once they are eating better during the day, you can start night weaning.

First, let me say that there is a great section on this in Dr. Sears' The Baby Book. He mentions that since the baby is used to being comforted back to sleep, you need to give them a transitional comfort to help them back to sleep. The first stage should be to try to just pat or snuggle baby back to sleep. If baby starts to cry, Dad should get up with baby and walk / sing / snuggle him back to sleep. In this way, the baby is not deprived of comfort, he is just comforted by a different care giver.

This never worked for us, because my husband needs more sleep than I do, and he was working full time while I was staying at home when our babies were this age. This is just a fact about our physical make-ups that we both know. I can get by with less sleep than he can, so I do.

Kris suggested introducing a pacifier. This worked with her middle son and helped him to soothe to sleep and transition from the breast to nothing. This is another great option if you baby is comfort sucking and will take it. For some kids a teddy bear or other softie or blanket might be helpful in comforting babies back to sleep.

Usually, after a week or so, kids get used to their transitional sleep object, and realize they are not going to nurse back to sleep. They start to move from sleep cycle to sleep cycle a bit more smoothly and no longer wake you up as much at night.

For my kids, transitional objects didn't work, so I got up and walked them in the sling or rocked them. Yes, this did mean that my sleep was interrupted more for a few weeks. But I kept the long term goal in mind and kept with it. They would cry for a little bit, and then gradually fall back to sleep for two or three wakings. With both boys, I found that it was the 2 or 3 am waking that was the most difficult. I don't know if they were actually hungry, or just less tired and more willing to fight, but this waking was the most persistent and was the one where they would put up the most fight.

For this waking I followed one of Dr Sears' suggestions, and told them "The nums come back when the sun comes up". This gave them a tangible signal for when they would get to nurse again, and it gave me some way to reassure them that this was not forever. With my oldest son I realized that this was not the best thing to say in a northern climate in June, since the sun comes up at about 3am, but none the less, it was helpful.

For this waking, we had a few days of crying and screaming with my oldest son. I rocked and snuggled him and eventually he fell back to sleep. He learned in about a week that he was not going to get nursed. This was still the waking stage where he had the most trouble falling back to sleep, but after about 2 weeks of nightly sling walks, he did start to fall back to sleep just by snuggling next to me in bed. By the end of the second week, I only had to walk him in the sling a couple of times a week, and by the end of the month we didn't have to used the sling at all.

My second son was more persistent (we have found that this is simply his personality in all things). He fought for about two weeks, and would be awake for up to two hours during this time. I would rock him and read him books with the lights dimmed until he was ready to fall asleep, so that he wouldn't wake up his brother and cause complete chaos. I have a vivid memory of the night he finally realized that mama was not going to give in. We had been reading books, and then he started throwing the books away. I tried rocking him in the chair, and he climbed out. I tried walking him in the sling, and he climbed out. I sat him on the floor. He sat and started at me and screamed for a while. I persisted with telling him "No nums until the sun comes up." He quieted, looked at me for a minute, then collapsed sideways, asleep, on the floor. I left him there, grabbed a blanket and collapsed next to him.

I know, this sounds terrible. But sometimes, my children's wants -- not their actual needs, but their preferred way of operating -- has to come second to my real, actual needs. In this case, my need for real sleep so I could function properly during the day, took preference.

For us, this was the first step to weaning. I waited a few months for this to settle in before I proceeded to daytime weaning.

Most Annoying

2010-10-27T11:04:00.000-07:00

My son was watching Caillou this morning. Caillou is the one TV character that drives me around the bend. He is so whiny! Seriously, it bothers me enough when my own kids whine, why do I have to listen to that on TV? And it's not even that good of a show? How in the world do my kids like this stuff? This started an interested chat with my husband who said, "So, you feel the way about Caillou, the way I feel about Dora and Diego." The both of them shout everything. Dora offends him the worst of all. He just wants her to shut up already. So what about you? Who do you think is the most annoying children's TV personality?

*I usually don't let Caillou be on the TV because he's THAT annoying to me, but I went out to do errands, leaving my son home with my husband who let him watch it.

I am a hockey mom and proud of it!

2010-10-25T07:54:00.000-07:00

In the States there is a phenomenon known as the Soccer Mom. Sure those exist up here in Canada, but really, there is nothing like the Hockey Mom!
The Hockey Mom doesn't mind getting up at 6am for her child to be on the ice at 7. She clutches her cup of Tim's for warmth as she watches from the stands. The Hockey Mom is not perfectly made up. She does not spend practice time emailing on her iphone. She is bundled up for warmth, and uses her iphone to take video of the practice to send off to Grampa. The Hockey Mom may or may not drive a mini van but you can be sure any car she has has enough trunk space for the hockey bag and stick. The Hockey Mom welled up with pride the first time her child stepped on the ice clutching their stick. They may not have known how to skate, but this wasn't skating, this was playing hockey and the wee tot was convinced they knew how to do it. Hockey Moms don't have fancy manicures because we tie a lot of skates, tight! Hockey Mom's know that every piece of equipment is important and that airing it out after each practice and game is just as important. Hockey Moms are usually not competitive. They are their child's biggest fans, but also know that hockey is a true team sport and cheer everyone along. Hockey Mom's know the importance of bringing an extra water bottle for the end of the game. We totally get it when our kids play with pucks and hockey cards instead of traditional toys. We also know why the Peter Puck DVD is one of our kids favorite videos. We record games on TV for our kids to watch the next day because Hockey Night in Canada is just a little too late for them to watch in real time. Hockey Mom's celebrate every pass, every goal and every save. Hockey Mom's know that their child probably won't make it to the NHL, but that's okay because they have the love of the game.

For Better or For Worse ran some great panels on the ins and outs of hockey life that you can find here

Signing With Your Baby - A Guest Post

2010-10-20T13:38:00.000-07:00

We are so pleased to introduce our friend Anna of Anna's Place to you. Anna is mom to a fantastic toddler (that's her cutie in the video below) and has been teaching him to sign as part of his language development. She is our first guest poster and we couldn't be more happy to have her share on Clever Mamas!

Signing “Please” and “Thank you“

At 15 months while a very chatty child, my son actually only has about 5-6 words that he says, on the other hand he also has about 5-6 words that he signs. When my son was about a year he started pulling at my shirt when he wanted to nurse, and I have always thought that type of communication is unacceptable, so I decided to teach him to sign so he would be able tell me what he needs.

We started with a few basics such as “hungry”, “all done”, “more”, “nurse” (“milk”), and have added to them as needed. My favourites are probably “please” and “thank you”, which he uses consistently; I am so happy that we were able to start with good manner from such a young age. Recently I decided we are going learn the sign for ‘Sorry”, this for when I accidentally bump him into something or step on him, but also for when he intentionally smacks me or disobeys.

While I am at work my son stays with his grandparents who are also pleased with the results of signing; I encouraged them to sign with him by sending along cue posters and a link to an online video signing dictionary (http://www.babysignlanguage.com/).

Both my husband and father-in-law were concerned that if my son started signing, he would be delayed in actually learning to speak, however based on research it is reported that children who sign actually have advanced literacy skills (this fact from my mother, an OT at the Fraser Valley Child Development Centre).

Other advantages to signing with your child:

·         Less frustration from both parent and child in communicating with each other

·         Teaches good manners early

·         Reportedly can increase IQ and creativity, and improve spatial reasoning

Teaching him was relatively easy, I worked on a few signs at a time, I would use his hands to mimic what I wanted him to say and we always speak the word when we sign it. I think we taught him to sign “please” and “more” while eating ice cream, so it went very quickly. I am not fussy about him getting it exactly right, he rubs both hands on his belly for “please” instead of one hand on his chest, and he smacks his mouth with his hand for thank you instead of bringing his hand down from his chin. Just as I don’t expect his spoken works to be perfect, I don’t expect his signs to be perfect. I have to say I was probably more pleased with his first signing than I was when he first started talking, this could be because his first spoken word was “no” and his first signed word was “please”.

Remembered in my heart

2010-10-15T12:01:00.000-07:00

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. Losing a baby is still a taboo subject in our society. Nobody wants to talk about it because it is so sad. Nobody knows how to deal with it either. I have been pregnant 6 times. I have 3 living children. Yes, I still mourn those lost babies. I do wonder who they would have been. They are remembered in the hearts of myself and my husband. It is our hope that we will one day meet them in heaven.
There are 4 women friends in my life who have lost their infants. One of them just this past summer. Yes, it is incredibly sad and you don't know what to say. Let them know they are loved and that we miss their babies too.
Take a moment to remember all of those lost babies today. They are dearly loved and missed.

For more information visit Remembering Our Babies

Cheerios Milestones Blog Tour - Giveaway!

2010-10-14T09:47:00.000-07:00

I have three children, ages 6, 3, and 9 months. In the past few months my 6 year old has lost his first tooth, started full time school in grade one, and is now reading books using his head voice. All big steps.
My 3 year old has stopped coming into our bed to sleep in the middle of the night, had his first night away from mom and dad staying at Gramma's hotel room, and voluntarily started to eat a variety of meat and a few veggies (this is a real feat for my pickiest eater).
My 9 month old just in the past month has begun to sit on her own, feed herself small snacks like Cheerios, and push up on all 4's in an attempt to crawl. At her age, her milestones come quickly, they are harder to spot in my older two kids.
I look at my kids and wonder, wow! When did this all happen. I recently saw a few pictures that were taken at my (now) 3 year old's first birthday. No longer is he this chubby cheeked little baby, but a slimmed down rough and tumble little boy. At first glance a picture of my (now) 6 year old had me questioning if it was his brother in the picture, not him because he was close to 3 at that party. This time last year my daughter was still growing in the womb, making me ill with morning sickness.
The phrase I hear most often from parents with older children, is enjoy it, it goes by so fast. It's only when I start to look back that I see that it does. When did this all happen? Not so long from now, this stage will be gone too.
How do we mark time? How do we remember our kids and celebrate each step of life. My husband once remarked that he wanted to set a constant video camera on each of them so we don't miss a thing. With my first child I was very dilligent in keeping up his baby book, with my second, not so much and well, my third has one that I keep meaning to write in. I do however have a plethora of pictures. Yes, I'm that mom, the one who takes her camera everywhere and posts a million pictures on Facebook. My blogging life is another way that I keep records of where my kids are at and what they are doing. I'd like to say that one milestone sticks out over another, but with three kids so much is happening all the time, that the little steps are what adds up to the biggest changes.
When my daughter was in the NICU earlier this year we celebrated the smallest changes. Out of the incubator, first attempts at nursing, taking half a feed by nursing, nursing completely on her own until finally she was cleared to come home, almost a month after her birth. All little steps that on their own seem so small, but together made the biggest difference in the world.
Mom Central is teaming up with Cheerios to celebrate the milestones that your children have made. You can be a part of the celebration by visiting cheerios.ca. You could have your child featured on a special edition Cheerios Box and WIN $10,000 towards an RESP from TD Canada Trust! It's very easy to enter, that contest closes on Dec. 15, 2010.
Here at Clever Mamas we are happy to partner up with Mom Central and Cheerios with a little milestones giveaway of our own. We are giving away a Cheerios Play Book. To enter just leave us a comment sharing one of your children's milestones. Contest is open to Canadian residents and closes on October 29th. The winner will be drawn at random the following day. Please include your email contact information so we can reach you if you are our winner!

Disclosure - I am participating in the Cheerios Milestones program by Mom Central on behalf of General Mills. I received a gift card as a thank you for my participation. The opinions on this blog are my own.

Night Waking in Older Babies

2010-10-07T20:28:00.000-07:00

One of our faithful readers, Bec, asked us about our experiences with frequent night waking in older babies. And let me tell you friends, I have experience with this. My oldest son, Andrew was a terrible sleeper. Not only was it hard to get him to sleep, but it was hard to get him to stay asleep. He would wake up every 2 - 2 1/2 hours to nurse. All night long. For months and months and months.

The thing about this is that it is not really hard on the baby. They only partially wake up, wheras Mom usually wakes up fully in order to deal with the baby. This means months of sleep deprivation. Did you know that sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture? Serious sleep deprivation means loss of short term memory and generally living in what I used to call "the fog". This is the state where you can carry on automatic tasks, like washing dishes and changing diapers, but you can not hold an intelligent conversation without spacing out. So first things first, here are some tips for taking care of yourself, tired mama:

catch a nap sometime during the day when your husband or someone else can watch the baby
cut your "to do" list in half - lower your expectations of how much you'll be able to do in a day
drink water and eat healthy and take care of yourself. This stage is an endurance challenge so your body needs good fuel
try not to take it personally -- your baby really isn't trying to control or manipulate you, he's just being a baby
remember that this too shall end -- not as soon as you would like, but you will get more sleep eventually

Second, there are a few gentle, non leave-your-baby-to-cry-it-out things you can try to help your baby sleep longer, or help their wakings bother you less. Most of these are tips I've gleaned from The Baby Book by Dr William and Martha Sears, and The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley.

make sure your baby is getting lots of nursing in during the day -- sometimes when babies start crawling and cruising and walking, they are so excited that they forget to eat. At night time when there are no distractions they realize their little tummies are really empty and so they wake up to eat a lot
make sure your baby is getting lots of touch during the day -- crawling and cruising babies still need lots of touch. If your baby has been down a lot during the day, but has been used to lots of time being held and cuddled at a younger age, they may wake up needing reassurance and reconnection. Some extra time in a sling or in someone's arms right before bed time can help.
try to let baby fall asleep in the same place and position they will wake up in. Elizabeth Pantley compares falling asleep nursing and waking up without Mom there to falling asleep in your bed and waking up on a tile floor. It can be disorienting to wake up somewhere other than where you fell asleep. So try to let baby do that last little bit of falling asleep on their mattress or in their crib. If you are breastfeeding, try to pop your nipple out right before they fall asleep so they don't expect it to still be there when they wake up.
a baby who is waking about every 2 1/2 hours is basically waking up each time they hit a new sleep cycle. We as adults also wake up every 4 hours or so, but we usually fall back to sleep without noticing. Babies who are used to only being soothed or falling asleep in one or two ways will often be unable to fall asleep without their usual sleep prop. If you help baby to fall asleep in different ways -- in the stroller, in a car seat, in a rocking chair, in Dad's arms, or in a sling, to list a few -- it can help him to learn different ways of being soothed. This might lead to more ability to self soothe and sleep longer stretches
try to think of any practical things that might be bothering your baby -- is he teething? cold? hot? wet? constipated? having tummy troubles? hidden allergies? stuffy nose? -- any of these might lead to frequent wakings due to simple discomfort
if none of these seems to be getting anywhere, and you breastfeeding, just take your baby to bed with you. Work out how to nurse him laying down, and nurse him back to sleep when he wakes up. You will be much less sleep deprived if you just have to roll over and offer some quick comfort, than you will if you get up, feed or rock the baby, then lay him back down every 2 1/2 hours.

Lastly, it might just be that your son has a very sensitive or intense temperment. Intense kids often become fully alert very quickly. This means that when they have that short waking between sleep cycles, they have trouble falling back to sleep because they come fully awake. The only cure for this one is time. My most intense child didn't sleep for 8 hours straight until he was 3. At six, he still often wakes up once and night, and never sleeps more than 9 hours. Some kids are just wired that way. It makes for tired mamas, yes. But one day, he will sleep for longer. Just wait it out, and do what you can to help him learn to sleep sounder.

Now, Bec, get off the computer and go take a nap!

Teething Troubles

2010-10-06T09:09:00.000-07:00

My little girl could be nicknamed 'Queen of the Drool' right now. She has been teething seriously since June and no teeth through yet. She soaks through her shirt within an hour of wearing it. I've been looking at ways to help her out because let's face it, when you are 8 months old and in pain that you can't figure out, you need help. Also, I don't want to keep her on Infant Tylenol (or any other form of medicine for that matter) indefinately.
Here's my list of top 'help my baby out while teething tips.

I will admit that I heard about the first one with my first 2 kids and was nervous to try it, so I didn't. A mom that I trust completely mentioned it to me last week. She said it was the only thing that helped when her little ones were in teething pain. So, very cautiously and completely supervised I let my daughter try it out. Basically, you let your baby knaw on a frozen bagel. The bagel kind of flakes off into little pieces as they wear away at. So far there hasn't been an issue with choking, but like anytime I give her food, I'm right beside her ready and aware. She loves this so much and goes from crying in pain to happy girl almost instantly.

The Whoozit series of toys from Manhattan Baby. These are the basic Whoozits. We call them Mr. Whoozit and Mrs. Whoozit. They are easy to hold and have lots of places for baby to chew.

I heard someone describe Sophie the Giraffe as Baby Crack once. I was a real skeptic about it. My mom bought her one (what would we do without Grammas?) She goes to town on Sophie. Again, it's a very easy to hold toy and it was designed especially for this purpose.

Never underestimate the power of a cold, damp face cloth. You know you have a ton of them in the house anyway for baby's bath and wiping their face after meals. My daughter loves chewing on them. Sometimes I wet them, twist them and freeze them, but she's just as happy to take it from me unfrozen. I know some keener moms who dip the cloths in breast milk and then freeze them, but I'm not that organized.

Finally, never underestimate the power of Dad's (or Mom's) thumb. My older kids call this my daughter's favorite teething toy and it's true.

We Had Rice - teaching your kids to be more globally aware

2010-09-23T10:50:00.000-07:00

A couple of nights ago we had rice for dinner. That's it, just rice. Not even very much of it. And a glass of water. No, I'm not lacking in kitchen creativity, I'm trying to teach my kids something. Here in North America we are some of the most blessed people in the world. The problem is, we often don't think about it. We take it for granted. My kids get 3 meals a day plus snacks. Numerous children in the world cannot make the same claim.
I don't know about you but I get so tired of hearing complaints from my kids:
"I don't like this"
"Do I have to eat this?"
"I'm bored"
"I don't have enough toys"
"I want this"
"Homework!"
"There isn't enough playtime at school"
"A Bath!"
Some of these are accompanied by eye rolling and lots of "ughs".
So what do we do about it? I know the line of "starving people in Africa would love this" when I was a kid made me think, "well, ship it to them then!" I want to take a slightly different angle with my kids. I want to make it real to my kids. Yes, there are starving children in the world. Yes, there are children who don't have the opportunity to go to school. Yes, there are children who don't have clean clothes, or toys, or a mommy and a daddy...
I believe if we teach kids about it early enough, maybe they will want to do something about it.
So we had rice. A simple meal that many survive on once a day. After dinner we read a story based on real boys and events in the Sudan, called: Brothers in Hope. This is a wonderfully written story that tells it like it is. My kids were riveted. There were questions along the way. There was a little bit of shock as to how these boys survived and what they lived on. And I think, an impact into my boys' hearts. That night at bedtime my 3 year old added a prayer for the boys of Africa that they would be healed. My 6 year old prayed that the rich people would share their food with the poor. He also told me that he wanted to use some of his allowance to help.
This isn't the first time we've talked to our kids about living conditions around the world. We often talk about the "Big Picture". The big picture is food in our tummies, clothes on our back, a school to learn, a home to live in, clean water to drink, a doctor and medicine when we are sick, and a mommy and daddy to love and take care of them.
Little by little, this is a message we want our kids to know. They are extremely blessed people and it is our responsibility to pass our blessings on to others. How do you teach your kids global awareness?

School Lunch Ideas - Pizza Pinwheels

2010-09-18T04:35:00.000-07:00

The search for a great lunch for my first grader is officially on. I answered the challenge with help from Jean Pare. Jean Pare is the founder of the Canadian company Company's Coming. I happened upon one of their book collections called Kids Cook. It is a 3 in 1 collection (Bag Lunches, After School Snacks and Weekend Treats). These cookbooks were designed with kids in mind. It is geared to teach kids to cook (ages 8 - 15), but my 6 year old can do a lot of it with a little help from me. We sat down together and looked through each recipe with him ticking off the ones that appealed most to him. We decided that the pizza pinwheels would be the first recipe that we would try. They were quick and easy and tasty. He's had them in his lunch as the main part each day this week with no complaints. This will be a repeat recipe for us.

2 1/4 cups Biscuit mix
1/2 cup water
7 1/2 oz can pizza sauce
2 sliced green onions
1/2 cup finely chopped green pepper
1/2 cup finely chopped pepperoni
1 cup grated mozzarella cheese
1/4 tsp dried oregano

Preheat oven to 400*. Stir the biscuit mix and water in a medium bowl until the dough forms a ball. Turn dough onto a counter that has been dusted with flour or biscuit mix. Kneed the dough 20 times. Roll out to a 12 x 12 inch square.

In a separate bowl, mix the remaining 6 ingredients. Spread over the dough leaving an inch space all around the edges. Roll up the dough from one side to the other (like a jelly roll). Pinch the edges to seal. Cut into 12 1 inch slices. Place the slices on a baking sheet that has been sprayed with non-stick spray. Back for 12 minutes.

The Look

2010-09-13T10:45:00.000-07:00

"You look like a mom." my husband smiled at me.
I did a once over of myself. My mom uniform of jeans and a t-shirt (not mom jeans though, I haven't fallen that far yet). My jeans had a touch of baby spit up on the knee. My t-shirt had slight mucus stains from where my 3 year old wiped his nose while giving me a hug. My hair was thrown up into its usual easy ponytail. No jewelry save my rings that I never take off. I couldn't remember if I'd taken the time to put makeup on or not, but my sunglasses hid my eyes anyway. My feet were in my comfy Preevos. The look of a mom? Yep, I guess I have it.

School Lunch Ideas - Week 1 in review

2010-09-10T08:30:00.000-07:00

Here's what was in the lunchbox this week:

Monday - no school

Tuesday -hummus and pita bread
              -sliced strawberries
              -vanilla yogurt
              -dried fruit snacks
              -orange juice

Wednesday - sliced beef hot dog wieners with ketchup dip
                   - watermelon
                   - raspberry yogurt
                   - goldfish crackers
   - dried fruit snacks
                   - orange juice

Thursday - macaroni and cheese (in thermos)
                - apple/berry sauce
- strawberry yogurt
                -goldfish crackers
                - dried fruit snacks
                - orange juice

Friday -spaghetti (in thermos)
            - apple slices
            -vanilla yogurt
            - zucchini bread
            - dried fruit snacks
           - orange juice

How was your first week back at school for lunches?

Kid Shoes -- what to buy?

2010-09-07T14:08:00.000-07:00

I have always had a quandry about buying kids shoes. Fall weather started here this week, and I realized that neither of the boys had running shoes that fit, and that in fact my oldest probably needed an extra pair for school, too. This meant I had to once more wade into my thoughts on kids shoes.

You see, I was one of those kids who always got good quality shoes. My mother firmly believed that bad shoes would ruin my feet and leave me forever awkward and flat footed (or high arched?). So every spring we would go and get me a good quality pair of buckle-up leather Buster Brown sandals for the summer. And every fall we would go to Sears and get two pairs of good quality running shoes for school, and one good quality pair of Mary Janes for church and skirts. Oh, how I envied all those girls in the early 80's that got to wear the little black Mary-Jane like slippers as their inside shoes at school while I had to endure my clunky, hard to put on running shoes. They seemed to float through the air, while I stomped along in my practical, quality shoes.

This lesson has stayed with me my whole life, and I still own a few pairs of good quality, generally clunky (but funky clunky) shoes.

When it comes to my kids' shoes, I do wonder, though. Is it worth the extra $20 to get my 5 year old Sketchers instead of Walmart shoes. Aside from the fact that I hate to shop at Walmart, is there really that much of a difference in quality? Its quite likely that both pairs of shoes were made in almost the exact same type of factory, with almost the exact same type of materials. And yet I am left with that voice in my head, saying "If you want to have good feet as an adult, you need good quality shoes."

So far, I tend to compromise. I get each kid one good quality pair of shoes -- their main outside shoes for playing at the park and walking around town. Then I get a cheaper pair of school shoes, since they do a lot of sitting at school, and if I feel like they need dress shoes, I will get another cheaper pair for those, too.

What do you think about kids shoes?